Did you consider the age of your parents when deciding to start a family?

[neeor]

Curious really if anyone gave it much thought?

I know none of us know what the future holds but I’d really like to hope my parents will see our DC to adulthood and beyond. They had me older, as did DHs parents, which has led to us choosing to start a family in our mid 20s so that we have plenty of time together as a big family unit like at Christmases and suchlike. I only had one grandparent alive by the time I was born and she was in her 70s so I never had the same memories growing up with her around, she always seemed ‘old’.

*their late 30s

I didnt think about it but I defo see the benefits of having younger parents.

My mum was 42 when I had my 1st, she helped out a lot. Now she's in her mid 50s and still so young and I'm not thinking about having elderly parents.

I'm very grateful. We have all gone on holidays together and she meets me for lunch when she has days off and I'm working.

My children are growing up now teens and tweens and I still feel young with young parents .

In a round about way yes - my ex husband'a dad was 40 when he was born - might be generational but they have have zero relationship- more akin to a grandparent one than a parent. I think it has a huge bearing on the kind of person he was raised to be. So I knew I didn't want to be older than 40. And I wanted to be of an age when hopefully I'd be around (and young enough) if my children have children one day

No it didn't enter into my head at all; my first DD was unplanned.

My mum was 35 when she had me, her eldest child. I was 21 when I had mine, so she was still a youngish grandma really.

I didn't consider it. But I love the fact DS (1st grandchild) has living memories of 2 great grandparents and had 3 when he was born. He is 19 now DM is 73 her DM lived to 96 so I'd say she has a fair chance of meeting her great grand child.

No.

My eldest has got to 19 with maybe a total of 14 days of fil seeing him. On that basis fil I'm really sorry to say is pretty irrelevant. He might as well not exist. My 8 year old dd has seen him in six years. He could die when she is 30, they have no relationship which is his choice. Sad but true

No, never gave it a thought. Although I think our case shows it doesn't matter what age. He already had one grandad (my Ddad) gone before he was born, and yet he still has 3 great-grandparents alive!

Literally millions of parents don't get "free child care" from the GPs. Everyone who lives a bit of a distance away for starters. We lived 70 miles from one set of GP and 90 from the others and yet we all live in the south of England. It would be crazy not to have a family because you can't rely on GP help. What about the people whose families live abroad? or who were orphaned young? or have parents who work full time? or care for other relatives?

Yes. I knew I would have children young because my mum died in her 30s through pregnancy complications - if I had gone much past 31/32 then I would have resigned myself to not having children as I was too afraid.

My mum had me in her mid twenties, and I had my eldest in my mid twenties. It wasn't a deciding factor, but I recognised it as a plus point, yes. (It's true that none of us are promised tomorrow, yes; but on average, a child who is born to GPs in their 40s or 50s is obviously likely to have more, and more active and healthy, years with them.)

No, not at all

My DP’s age was definitely a factor in the age I chose to have DCs but for opposite reasons to the OP. My DPs were 17 and 18 when I was born so my DM drummed into me not to have children at such a young age. I had my first just after I turned 32. I always loved having a young DM and she was relatively young at 49 to become a GM which again, is lovely. It also meant I benefited having my great GM around till I was 27 and my GM till almost 40 but it’s not something I wanted for myself.

Nope. I didn't meet DH till I was nearly 35 so my age was more of a consideration. I think it's an odd thing to factor in really.

No, I didn’t, but I wish I had. Not for childcare (we live in a different country), but just so that my parent had substantive time with their grandchildren and vice versa. As it is, my dad died when my children were 6 and 8, but they have a real relationship with my mum which brings us all a lot of joy.

When my second dc was born I was 25 years old and not only an orphan but the actual oldest person still alive in my family. No grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles or older siblings or cousins left.

I would never assume I have longer than about a year left to live. I can’t even book holidays with more than a month or two notice. I can accept I’m no more likely to be hit by a car than the next person but I planned my children because I want to see them get to 18. It never occurred to me my parents would.

No not at all. My parents are fairly young though, they had me in their early 20's.

No but my parents had me relatively young… I’ll go through the menopause before they are properly old.

No, it's not something I thought about. As it turned out, my children did benefit from my parents being "young" grandparents who were able to play a part in their lives - as I had before them because my parents were young when they had me.

My youngest daughter managed to scare away a boyfriend by declaring that she wanted to have children before her own grandparents were too old to enjoy having great-grandchildren. DH and I may have put her off the idea by telling her we wouldn't mind if she decided to have children in her teens and pick up her education and career afterwards.

No, I didn't. I live overseas and am unlikely to ever live in the same town as my parents again.

That said, I would not have considered babysitting/wrap around care as a factor anyway.

Honestly, yes I did. Once we had deciding children were for us and were on to discussing when, I did consider having them sooner rather than later. My parents are 20 years older than DPs parents and I wanted my children to know their grandparents. Not even to do with childcare, i just wanted them to still be able to enjoy their grandkids. Hope that makes sense.

This 💯

No and I don't think it's something you can really plan for either.

By the time I was 15 I'd lost my grandma on my mums side and grandad on my dads side. By the time I was 28 I'd lost both my mum and dad. People don't always live to a ripe old age, sometimes they do but with I'll health or their finances mean that they're working full time or they decide to move to Spain and live the high life till they hit 103.

No.