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Original poster

DD being sexually harassed in YEAR 5!!!

62 replies

Fifi00 · 16/05/2023 17:34

This is awfully young or not? A boy has asked to touch dds bum at school today. He said he liked Kim kardashians bum then looked at her in a creepy way. I phoned the school then the little shit tried to knock on the house and go in the garden. DD was shouting and I told him to go away. We don't live in a shit hole, my DD should feel safe at home and school. I remember boys being silly at primary but not overly sexual that didn't start until year 8.

First time my daughter gets sexually harassed its in primary school. I'm devastated.

OP posts:

RequiresUpdating · 16/05/2023 18:02

Unfortunately, I don't think that's all that uncommon these days.

frozendaisy · 16/05/2023 18:04

Year 5 children don't automatically do this.
He is being exposed to inappropriate material.
School and his parents should be taking this very seriously.

Hopefully you can get your daughter to brush this off as a awful boy crossed paths. I know it's more but best she thinks it was just a time to stand her ground and say "do not touch me" but I would also tell her to physically push him away if it happens in future as hard as she can shouting "no" and tell school you have told her to do this regardless of their policy.

cansu · 16/05/2023 18:05

Sounds like he made an inappropriate comment about a celebrity's but and then looked at your dd for a reaction. Did he actually ask to touch her?

Reasonableadjustments · 16/05/2023 18:07

This has always happened even when I was at school. And I'm old.

Niceseasidetown · 16/05/2023 18:10

I'm not sure it's helpful to frame it as sexual harassment...though I can also see why you do.

What during to mind is what this very tiny boy is being exposed to at home.

An unpleasant experience for your daughter no doubt but I would suspect this boy is the one who needs most support....have you reported to the school? Hypersexualisation at this age is very often an indication of sexual abuse.

MayBeeJuneSoon · 16/05/2023 18:14

'Looked at her in a creepy way'?

What's that then?

RegimentalSturgeon · 16/05/2023 18:15

A y5 is not a ‘very tiny’ boy and could well be the age of criminal responsibility already.

Ilovelurchers · 16/05/2023 18:19

Whereas children who do live in a "shit hole" deserve not to feel safe?

Fucking Hell.

Original poster

Fifi00 · 16/05/2023 18:19

The Kim kardashian incident was a few weeks ago. The asking to touch her bum was today

OP posts:

Niceseasidetown · 16/05/2023 18:20

I read it as they were 5 years old...not year 5.

Sorry.....

MrsDoylesDoily · 16/05/2023 18:21

What did the school say OP?

Btw, the 'shit hole' comment could do with explaining as it doesn't sound great if you read it back.

Noicant · 16/05/2023 18:22

I’d be kicking up a stink at school and make sure his parents are called in to discuss this. Tell your DD to tell him to back off. I’d be concerned, is it just your Dd he’s doing this with or other girls too. He must understand she doesn’t like this yet still tried to go into your garden.

ParentPerson · 16/05/2023 18:22

Hi OP, I work in safeguarding. What happened with that boy is called child on child abuse and there’s lots of legislation and the Keeping Children Safe in Education and the Brooks Traffic Light Tool which practitioners use to determine the severity and course of action when this happens. You must get an account of what happened from your DD and send it to the school to the designated safeguarding lead. It doesn’t matter if it is historical, it absolutely must be reported.
The boy who did this is also a child and most likely has been exposed to inappropriate events/material so will also be supported by school in this but your daughter must feel safe.
Happy to advise further via PM.

DrHousecuredme · 16/05/2023 18:23

We don't live in a shit hole, my DD should feel safe at home and school

I really sympathise and this must be worrying for dd. This does you no favours though. Nobody deserves to feel unsafe or feel harassed. The quality of your living arrangements have nothing to do with it.

In practical terms, absolutely report to the school and ask them to follow up with you and dd what they intend to put in place to ensure it stops. They should have policies that cover this.

Noteification · 16/05/2023 18:25

I'd be kicking up a huge fuss and also reporting thr assault and harassment at your house to the non emergency police line.
Hopefully both school and police will come down hard on him and he'll leave your daughter (&hopefully other girls alone!)

Tidsleytiddy · 16/05/2023 18:26

Ilovelurchers · 16/05/2023 18:19

Whereas children who do live in a "shit hole" deserve not to feel safe?

Fucking Hell.

Was just thinking the same. Only kids who live in “shit holes” have access to the internet to look at Kim Kardashian? What’s your definition of a “shit hole” I wonder

Noteification · 16/05/2023 18:27

Ideally hopefully his parents come down hard on him as well. Unfortunately so many parents of boys belittle this sort of thing.

MaggieBsBoat · 16/05/2023 18:30

You lost me at the shit hole comment.

You are no better than anyone else.
No one’s child should suffer from sexual harassment. You’ve been advised well above but in all likelihood this boy is on the receiving end of abuse himself. That is no excuse but you need to flag it with the head teacher immediately.

Coyoacan · 16/05/2023 18:33

Reasonableadjustments · 16/05/2023 18:07

This has always happened even when I was at school. And I'm old.

Well I'm old and it never happened to me or any of my friends,not even in secondaryschool. Nor has it happened to my dd or her friends. And we've lived in some shitholes.

Yellowdays · 16/05/2023 18:35

I thinks it's unusual.

Reasonableadjustments · 16/05/2023 18:36

I went to a very average primary and it definitely happened to some kids.

Not just the shit ones though.

Also had it happen to one of my kids (a young child in the family behaved like this)

I would report it to the school and let them deal with it.

BakewellGin1 · 16/05/2023 18:36

Well I live in what you probably describe as a shit hole and guess what my children also deserve to live in a safe and secure environment too...

Sorry for what's happened but that comment just makes me think your a bit of a dick.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/05/2023 18:38

We don't live in a shit hole, my DD should feel safe at home and school

Women and girls cannot buy their way out of danger OP. Women and girls should fee safe everywhere. Regardless.

Men and boys of all demographics can be a danger to Women and girls regardless how exclusive your postcode is.

Noteification · 16/05/2023 18:39

MaggieBsBoat · 16/05/2023 18:30

You lost me at the shit hole comment.

I think at 10 or nearly 10, then he knows what he is doing and it is unlikely that is a result of him being abused.10 is the age of criminal responsibility, so the law would likely take that stance too.
Agree at the shit hole comment. Why does OP think it would be more acceptable on a run down council estate? She should still report it to the police obviously but some fucking people. All girls should be safe. Was OP expecting us to be horrified and thought that sort of thing only happened to girls from poorer/ run down homes? And it was outrageous it happened to someone not?

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 16/05/2023 18:39

She clearly doesn't mean by the shithole comment that children in poverty deserve to be sexually assaulted. I took it as she means it's not an area/school filled with little shits generally so the behaviour experienced isn't common.

Im so sorry for your daughter and I bet you're livid. Definitely follow it through with the school and it's absolutely unacceptable

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