If you are wealthy what do you day dream about?

[Cocteautriplet]

Every week I have my little ritual of buying one lotto ticket looking at the jackpot and daydreaming what I’ll spend it on: a 4 bed detached house in the New Forest, less stress for my partner, private school for my three children, a round the world trip etc…

I’m realistic that I’m very unlikely to win but the daydreaming and planning gives me a lot of joy and entertainment. It got me thinking if you have your material needs more than comfortably met what’s on your imaginary wish list … do you dream of working less, of being healthier or having a better body, romance or are your dreams more outward facing … an end to world conflict, better economy etc?

This is not meant to be a goady post … I acknowledge that most people work extensively hard to afford a comfortable lifestyle and good on them … I just want to know how my focus /daydreams will change when I win the lottery this evening 😉

We are financially wealthy but ‘health poor’. We have a child with a serious life threatening illness (which required a transplant) and my partner has mobility issues and a chronic health condition.

We live a nice life in that we can pretty much afford to do anything we like (within reason- we aren’t millionaires) and have no money worries but we are also limited to what we can actually do as we can’t really travel (short holidays in the UK or occasionally Europe are ok) and we are tied to multiple regular hospital visits.

So to answer your question OP I dream of a life with no health worries. I dream of travelling to see the world. I’d like to visit those white sand beaches in Thailand and see Niagara Falls as an example.

I feel like I’ve swapped a life of money worries for a life a health worries.

We are in around top 5% income wise.

I would like some time with DH and my health issues to improve. They are under control now thankfully but will never go away. It meant I had to retire early through ill health.

We could buy DS a house outright but DH thinks we shouldn’t. We didn’t bother with private schooling. We knew our child though and the local private school is not very good. Private schooling is actually the best investment for very average children. He achieved all A grades at A level. But most of all I would change what can never be changed and not have the heartbreak of unsuccessful pregnancies as we should have three children.

We have a nice house and enough money for the things we want to do. (We have fairly modest tastes in terms of possessions, so by this I mean a few clubs for the children and occasional days/meals out plus a week in the sun).

I daydream about a totally different lifestyle, basically living somewhere near a tropical beach. We would never actually do it. (DH would hate it and I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy it as much in reality). I also imagine working term time only and spending the 6 week holiday in a luxury villa with a pool and sea views. Again not going to happen, partly finances but also mindset.

We are wealthy but not super wealthy to the point that we use a lot of staff to outsource tasks. And don't come from a wealthy background so don't feel comfortable doing that either. DH works f/t and I'm very p/t, but spend most days with our 1yo and 4yo when she's not in school.

We're time poor due to lack of childcare (though wouldn't want a nanny, I wouldn't want to miss out on that time). But I daydream about when DD2 is older and in preschool so I'll have more free time to work on fitness, health treatments and my hobbies. I have a bucket list of holidays but don't have the energy or mental energy to go away every school break, and the dcs are too young to enjoy some of them, so I like to plan them in my head for the future. I'm looking forward to DH retiring early so he can keep me company when the dcs are older and more independent. We have a 4 bed terrace in London and its an OK size for normal family life, but I'd love one that had enough room for my own hobby room and a bigger garden. Also I have absurd daydreams about having loads of space for dcs hobbies, e.g. I was at a soft play and thinking about how big a house you'd need to have your own multi level soft play set up. And a home gymnastics gym and dance room with mirrors and sprung floor.

Health wise we are all fine, and I have no grand ambitions for charitable work etc. I just want us to enjoy our lives, experience all the best in life and have fun together as a family.

I think about good things happening for my children.
I think about retiring and maybe travelling a bit or spending winters somewhere sunny. We are wealthy but haven't travelled that much.

I think you're missing the point a little bit. I absolutely can't change the fact that I had cancer, that the risk of recurrence is sky high, and that the medication results in daily pain and zaps my energy. The work thing, however, is somewhat changeable, but if I quit my job I lose the private health insurance that enabled me to access treatments that were not available on the NHS, and that saved my life.

In other words: My options are: Keep going as is, and try to address work issues in a gradual fashion, or: Take my son out of the school he loves, give up the excellent health cover I have, downsize to a house that isn't my dream house, stop traveling to amazing places, and still deal with the aftermath of cancer.

@Throwncrumbs I have an autoimmune condition known as CIDP (Chronic inflammatory Demyelinating polyneuropathy). Very rare, similar symptoms to MS and not much fun to deal with.

Having a tidy house 😭😭
Yes, I could pay someone to come and declutter for me, but I'm not organised enough, I don't have any time, and I just don't know where to start. But I dream of my house being tidy and everything having a place to live.

Same. I would love to be rich enough to give loads of it away 😂

We're fortunate to be mortgage free at both home and our business premises. We've got fairly hefty savings, a good lifestyle and touch wood the cost of living crisis hasn't affected us in any way.

But I lost my Dad recently and to be honest, I get little pleasure from our financial situation. Money couldn't save my Dad from cancer and a cruel death. I think very few people live a "charmed" life.

’Wealthy’ is so subjective but we have many of the things associated with it - 3 kids in private school, a nanny, a gardener, a swimming pool in the garden.

I sometimes daydream about a job where I could switch off at the end of the day. Where I’m not expected to be contactable 24/7 and where the buck doesn’t stops with me when the shit hits the fan. I can’t remember the last time I went on leave and didn’t spend at least a few hours each day on my phone or in front of my laptop.

My work gives us a great life in so many ways but sometimes I do wonder if it’s worth it.

I am very content in my life and I have enough money to live a very comfortable life.

If I got a windfall from the lottery or similar my wishes would be to pay off my mortgage, pay my kids university costs, something I will be doing anyway but with my savings and current expenditure and then buy a camper van to go on extended holidays mainly in France when the youngest is an adult.

I fully intend to make all of these 3 wishes happen on a more extended timetable barring illness preventing this dream even without a windfall.

I have a lot of annual leave and DH has just taken a job that gives him extended annual
leave too so once we have our teen kids through college I’m going to be living the dream.

I have stresses because I have kids with AN and I have had mental health issues to deal with but my life is truly wonderful as it is. Of course there are significant ups and downs and it wasn’t always this way but I had extensive therapy to make it much, much better. I don’t think past a certain level money contributes meaningfully to happiness. Once needs are met and money isn’t a source of worry then it does not make you happy.

The wealthy people I know all play the euro millions for fun on occasion 😂 unless you’re literally Jeff Bezos there aren’t many people whose lives wouldn’t be changed by £180 million

🤣🤣🤣🤣 but that is so wrong.

Excellent use of funds! This is my plan too.

Meow!

@MsCactus do you mind if I ask how much your deposit is? We're thinking of a similar budget for next house (slightly lower) as we will be earning similar (post promotions).

We are currently saving/investing for the deposit so would be good to know from someone in a similar position. Thanks ☺️

Yeah sure @prinnycessa So I think our deposit will be about £200k ish - we have £150k equity in our current house (tho could be more if it sells well) and then over £100k savings, which we'll use for deposit and moving costs. You'd be able to find mortgages that need a lower deposit than that though, because 200k will be 20%

@MsCactus thank you for sharing. So that's similar to us re equity in our current house and savings/investments are forecasted to be similar by our FA. We would also want to do 20%. Maybe 25%. It's just the monthly payments seem insane! Thinking about other outgoings, it seems crazy but that's what you need to pay down south in reality

Money can’t buy happiness. 100%.

It does however give you choices. and thus the quality of one’s life thereafter is defined by those choices. That doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen, but being worried about feeding the kids, as well as recent bereavement, is tough on many levels.

So with that caveat, we are planning on 2 round the world trips, two different directions, first year will be east, over land and by air. After, we go via west and sail, potentially taking upto 5 years. I will be 60 by then, and probably happy to find a small mansion somewhere where we can invite the kids and their families all back to live, so that we don’t have to waste money on care homes, and be ready to nip off the Switzerland when the time comes.

I bought Microsoft shares in the late 80’s/early 90’s.

I dream about having a lovely big house with a big garden at the back with a lovely view. You throw open the french doors on a sunny day and there it all is. Maybe you can see a river or lake in the distance.
I dream about getting a pilot's license and flying all over.

We actually can afford all of this, but it's just a big step to take. Our house is actually quite lovely but the garden is tiny and at the other side of the garage.
We're just too scared to move away from what's comfortable, I suppose.
Nice house, nice neighbours, friends nearby.

We are fairly wealthy. I dream of a new hip
because I am in constant pain. Hopefully I can sort that one out though as I have an appointment with an orthopaedic surgeon tomorrow. A bit of money brings private health insurance. Lucky I know.

This may be an odd way of seeing it but I dream of being able to squander time the same way I did in my teens. Have a silly day filled with nothing without needing meticulous planning or feelings of guilt. Basically, the more you earn, the higher the opportunity cost is for other things. And human nature makes it very difficult to separate emotions from the "potential of earning" during a set time period if that makes sense.

Example: If you earn 1K a day, then anything you do ends up being measured against that. You become impatient, edgy, frustrated at anything that wastes your time against your earning potential. Once I had to spend half a day arguing a false traffic fine and it was deemed invalid. However the time spent doing that meant I actually lost money because the fine was much less than what I would have earned if I just stayed home.

So being wealthy alters your behaviour in unpredictable ways. You do things like pay fines or bills or charges that are clearly wrong because the time spent sorting it out means you make a bigger loss. Small things like collecting coupon stickers, hunting for discounts or taking part in giveaways are no longer fun because the time you need to do them and the discount made is less than what you could earn in that time.

As a student it was amazing to just take a day off if I felt unwell or needed a break. As an adult you need to calculate if that day off is worth 10K (DH's number) or whatever turnover the business makes. That makes it much harder to go on holiday, stay home with a sick child or complete mundane chores if you know the alternative had that price tag on it.

Sorry that's not wealthy that's comfortable. Ok in comparison to many it is but I would define true wealth as not having to work, having staff, multiple homes, flying privately blah blah etc.

I'm a high earner, although DH works very part-time to fit around DS's needs, so our household income is good but not uncommon in our part of SW London. I don't need to win the lottery but of course I daydream about it, and I know exactly which causes, friends and family I'd like to support, and which house I'd buy - only 100 yards from our house, but considerably bigger. I think that's normal for lots of people, whatever their income!