What would you do if you were DH?

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DH is an over thinker and getting in a muddle about a job offer. He works in a profession and is currently on £61k. His current work have been stringing him along for almost a year saying he will be promoted ‘soon’ and he’s been doing a number of the senior positions tasks already. He has been approached by another (good!) company and following interview offered a job. Which would you choose:

Job A- new company, next jump on professional ladder, good salary £70k + 8% yearly bonus. He would be a senior role in a smaller team so could move up the ladder faster, also offices abroad to potential for working abroad. Potentially longer hours as more senior.

Job B- current job. Been there 6 years and likes it, nice company which promotes wellbeing. When he informed them of job offer seemed very keen to keep him, said ‘would try to come close’ to offer. Sounds like won’t offer quite the same role (director) but a pared back version of that. DH is worried he’s only finally getting this promotion in a sense due to having a better offer rather than them actually wanting to give it. Financially it’ll be around £67k he thinks. No bonus.

I think Job A- his current work have taken advantage of him imo and are doing the bare minimum to keep him, it’s a good professional opportunity which I think he’d be gutted if he misses. He’s not one for change so I’m hoping others opinions might encourage him!

I dunno- he’s too loyal! He likes his company and since he’s had this offer they’ve fallen over themselves to say how much he’s valued but it’s just words isn’t it.

Loyalty is obviously not paying at his existing company. Considering what they might lose in continuity plus recruiting costs to replace him you'd think his existing company would match, or even exceed, the new offered salary plus bonus plus promotion plus anything Job A are offering (and I'm assuming a better pension out based on his new salary). Instead they're being wishy washy about what they need to do to keep him. Will he have to fight this battle again with them in the next few years?

It really sounds like they're doing a poor job of making your husband feel valued and, after years of this, your husband should be come out of his comfort zone and jump. Good luck to him though, whatever he decides. 🌹

I certainly wouldn't allow myself to be encouraged by my DW who has taken it upon herself to seek opinions for his behalf from an ill-informed worldwide audience.

No mention at all of working hours, location, number of subordinates, company car, pension, holiday entitlement, other benefits etc.

To suggest that the new role wouldn't offer "quite the same role" as "Director" only further confirms your lack of comprehension and most probably interest in your husbands position other than your his perceived status and salary.

Of course it's always possible, @Efficaciou5 that OP has not posted those details to preserve some anonymity about the job.

Did typing that snotty supercilious response make you feel better?

Take the new job. Once accepted my current empoyer's counter-offer when I had a new job lined up and, like a fool, I accepted it. Eighteen months later I was effectively back where I started. Job A every time.

Until his current job come up with something in writing with firm promises (salary, bonus and title) he doesn't have an offer from them. So I think job A - more money than he's on now, a bonus and a better role title. I think if you stay in a job to long they don't value you - you only get the better pay by moving.

Thanks @MrsDanversGlidesAgain you’ve hit the nail on the head

If he was offered more by his current company would everyone still say move? As in if his current one offered him £72k.

Yes. His current company know he's looking elsewhere and is a flight risk. They are going to take that into account come any restructure or downsize. And based on what you've said, they aren't exactly knocking themselves out to prove how 'valued' he is.

If he's happy with benefits, commute and progression and he feels they are going to be a good place to work, then go for it.

Job A. If they strung him along so far, they'll keep doing it. New company, fresh start, great opportunity.

Remind your DH that if they needed to, his current company wouldn't hesitate to get rid of him. He needs to think about himself, not a company who do not value him.

100% take Job A.

In a few years time he can move back to his current workplace at a higher level, and affect change so that people are promoted more promptly.

Remind your DH that if they needed to, his current company wouldn't hesitate to get rid of him

This. Loyalty only goes one way - as I found out to my cost after 12 years. Since then I work on the basis of what's working best for me, not my employer; and haven't hesitated to walk when it doesn't.

£70k with an 8% bonus (if guaranteed) is £75.6k so yes they are still undervaluing at £72k.

Plus all of the above about flight risk.

And they're not going to give him £11k for nothing - they'll expect blood for that.

Advice I got long ago. Don't stay with an employer who offers you more money only when they find out you're about to leave. They're basically acknowledging that they know you are worth it to them so why did they need a gun held to their heads to pay you what you're worth?

Take the job!

He's been headhunted. He won't get a chance like that again in a hurry. It sounds like they really want him.

Job A he’ll regret not taking it and always be wondering ‘what if’. If his current company value him as much as they say they do they will welcome him back.

Take the job. If his current company have been stringing him along and won't match the offer then they'll likely continue to do so.

Job A without a doubt !

6 years is too long and if they valued him they would have promoted him before now.

Bear in mind, OP, that his current company might try to string him along to the point that the offer from new co gets withdrawn. How long does he have to let new company know yes or no?

Definitely job A. Not only has it taken him getting a job elsewhere to open up the conversation in the first place, but, even knowing he's likely to leave it doesn't sound like they'll match the terms. I think that says it all in terms of how much they'll make him feel valued of he stays.

I hate it when people tell of an offer. It shows they want the company to want them to stay. Neither party’s hand should be forced. If he was going to get what he needed from this company it would have came before now.

Job A. Opportunity to learn and develop professionally and personally.
It doesn't mean he has to leave on bad terms, it's OK to say "I've really enjoyed my time here but after much thought I can't really pass up this opportunity, I wish you all the best".

Yes, even if current job offers the same or more £, I'd still go.

You said the progression etc is better in the new job, and he'll have well and truly hit a ceiling if current job match the salary, he'll go no further. If they were going to promote him they'd have done it already.

Won't it end up being around 45% tax bracket tho....id be wondering what the take home pay was before making my mind up.

I'd definitely still say move. As you say, for him it's about being valued, not money, and his employer has already messed him around to the point that he took the meetings with the new company in the first place. That may change now they've realised they could lose him, but if it doesn't (which is more likely, let's be honest) the other opportunity isn't going to be there waiting for him.

Job A. It doesn’t sound like his current employer will offer a good enough salary increase or promotion to keep him there. Just telling him he’s a valued employee doesn’t pay the bills!