DP staying overnight with female friends on stag

[japanflowers]

Hi all,

Not sure how to feel about this and opinions would be much appreciated.

My fiancé has female friends who he has known since he was in his late teens. They have a friendship group of just them, there are no other men.

The friends have arranged his stag do. The group of them are staying in a shared AirBnb overnight, some distance away from where my fiancé and I live. They will all have separate rooms but are staying in the same apartment.

I'm really not sure how to feel about this. I am fine with him having female friends, but I think staying in a shared AirBnb with a group of female friends (no other males) is going a bit too far.

Opinions please?

Wouldn't bother me

Why doesn't HE have a problem with that? My thought is that he would push her legs off and tell her to leave it out, never mind not touch them.

I'm not surprised that you have an issue with his boundaries. Not on at all.

Why???
They have separate rooms and have been friends a long time! It's perfectly able to have opposite sex friends without jumping into bed with them. No offence OP but if he wanted to try it on with them or sleep with them he would have done so long before now and way before on his stag do!

My DH has many female friends shock horror I wouldn't bat an eyelid to this! In fact he has stayed in many a bothie with female friends and male friends which is all one room! Felt sorry for them he snores like a trooper and they all looked knackered after the weekend other then DH has they hardly got any sleep 😂

I find it weird as well OP I wouldn’t like it.

Of course people can have different gender friends but in terms of close friends and trips away same sex would make me feel more at ease.

This wouldn't even cross my mind as being a problem. I have good male and female friends and go away a couple of times a year with them - as does my husband with his school and uni mates that includes females. I had a pre-wedding weekend with male and female friends.

Disrespectful?? Geez!

How old are you?

This is obviously a trust issue otherwise you wouldn't think twice about it.

What would you do after you got married if he wanted to go and visit his female friends? Or had to go on overnight trips staying in a hotel (in separate rooms ) with a pretty female colleague?

I mean they are his only friends so you can't do anything about it. But I'd find it weirder to be with someone who had no friends of his sex? Not even one? His entire life he's not met a single man he liked enough to be friends with?

That's the red flag. And a far bigger problem than him staying with them at an air bnb together. But if it has never bothered you before, why now?

"He has no male friends! He thought he was asexual before he met me, I am his first relationship."

Asexual - but you have sex or are you asexual too? And why does being asexual mean he can't hang out with men? Sorry OP, I think this sounds odd. Is your relationship fulfilling for you otherwise? How old is he?

If you can’t accept his friends, don’t marry him. I’m not sure why you think they’d be wandering into each other’s rooms - is that something you’d do if you went away with male friends? If not, then why do you think they would?

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest

Just trying to make sense of my thoughts. I am confused why he doesn't have male friends so I'm trying to work out why.

I'm not asexual no. We do it about once a week.

He is in his mid 30s.

I'd probably be happier with this than him pissing off to Amsterdam for a weekend tbh, but in either case, I don't believe my DP would cheat.

He may well do, but until I know any different then I have to trust him otherwise the relationship is dead.

They've all got separate rooms. I travel a lot for work with men, and I'm the only female but we have separate rooms. We still eat out and drink together in the evening then go our separate ways. This isn't much different, they're not sharing a room or bed.