Anyone up for a fun challenge? Need to find funny quotes for dc in GCSE

[LadyHag]

I plan to actually make the effort myself here but it's a fun task so tje more the merrier!

Dd starts GCSEs next week, getting a bit frazzled. She takes a small packed lunch to school as a fussy eater with other bits going on.

My pkan is each day to put a post it note with a quote from a film (or TV series) that is funny to cheer her up and if she do wishes she can try to work out where it is from. I'm not wanting it to be schmaltzy or aspirational as she is getting lots of encouragement etc at home, this is jyst a daft tjing to make her laugh, so it can be funny and if necc a (but) edgy for a teen.

So, any suggestions? All contributions welcome!

So far I've got "Jesus Christ!" from. The Holy Grail so I'm not doing too well.. Got a bit of a mental block. 😂

“Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill A Mockingbird, and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds.”

Not my daughter, you bitch

Always

Don't apologise for crying. Without this emotion we are only robots

PIVOT

It’s fucking boring without the cards after a while. (Maybe you don’t want swearing lol)

if you wanted a chicken bhoona you should’ve ordered a chicken bhoona

pivot!

Could I BE wearing any more clothes!

When someone asks if you’re a God you say YES!

“A plan? I haven’t even got a pla.”

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

Sometimes, you have to be a little bit naughty.

"You'll have some tea... are you sure you don't want any? Ah, go on, you'll have some. Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on GO ON!"

The money was only resting in my account

What’s occurring

Cardiff? Hope they’re paying your expenses

They takes the piss these cockneys

Mother always taught me: never eat singing food.

‘Obama. Osama. Two very different men, with very different ideas.’

You had me at hello.

You can't handle the truth.

GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!

“You were only meant to blow the bloody doors off” Michael Caine in The Italian Job

“Four candles. Nah! Fork ‘andles as in garden forks” The two Ronnies

Don't tell him pike

Very like Celine Dion

I'm Brian and so's my wife

I wanna work on my core

"My mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.'" -Forrest Gump

Nobody puts Baby in a Corner . Dirty Dancing

I can resist everything except temptation - Oscar Wilde

"The way to make people trust-worthy is to trust them." Ernest Hemingway

Wednesday Addams gets all the best lines. You could probably do a fortnight just of hers.

May the odds be ever in your favour.

What's it got in its pocketses/ I don t think he knows about second breakfast

Houston we have a problem

actually scrub that, I got sucked down a rabbit hole trying to identify PP's suggestions and forgot about keeping it funny 🤣

Ooh yes @Amispringy if you watch Ghosts @LadyHag there are loaaads

Gorilla warfare? Gorilla always win

Tell me the answer damn your eyes

Myst have been a different caveman

etc etc

“What a lovely day for an exorcism!”

“It’s just a flesh wound”

Velcro? What a rip-off !

Never give up, never surrender (fro, Galaxy Quest

How about a bit of Victoria Wood? She always cheers me up.

"He once made a pass at me Jean"
"Did he?"
"He didn't get anywhere. I was in a wrap around cardigan."

"I never speak behind people's backs. If I've got anything nasty to say I pop it on a post card."

"They stick two poem up in a bus shelter and call it a university"

"Are you not pregnant?"
"Not unless sperm can get through a sash window."

If you want to be a big cop in a small town then fuck off up the model village

Thank you for this thread, I needed a bit of cheering up,

Bring me….A Shrubbery!!!