Do you have a random kind of niche joke that you share only with you partner/best friend and then one day it is accidentally triggered into action with other people and you end up looking like a massively weird twat?

[ChypreNovice]

Oh god.
please PLEASE can like 300 posters come and say that they’ve done this and it’s completely fine and no one even noticed or will even remember and I don’t have to immediately resign and change my name and move to New Zealand to start a new life with a new family.

I am a senior serious person and today I agreed to be filmed for the Trust’s website using a hoist and there was a big group of my colleagues watching and then after filming started someone said “look normal” and oh god I then proceeded to make a series of incredibly weird poses with my body WITH A HOIST.

I completely lost control, and all because of that sketch. Occasionally my husband or I will say “look normal” to the other and then we do some sort of weird awkward weird pose. That’s the background but little did I know he’d been training my like some sort of hypnotic spy auto-reflex response shit.

shit

And today it was NOT my husband who said it and people were watching and it was being filmed and oh god.

Oh god

The look on their faces.

shit

“a boy without a winkle?!” Responding to the proud parents of a newborn baby girl. Not amused. Was the first time I met them. They’d never seen blackadder

Awwww I've never seen it either but I'd have laughed out loud at that 😂

🤣

Thank God for this thread. Thank you all so much. Reading it hasn’t lessened my acute embarrassment but at least I know that I’m now a member of an exclusive club of people who have accidentally made themselves look profoundly odd in front of people who they do not have a close personal relationship with.

Particularly enjoyed “that’s your mum that is”, the incredibly niche Bad Boys ‘bitch’ quote at parents’ evening and I CANT SEE WHAT I’M DOING while failing at a simple task. Brilliant 😂😂😂

And quite honestly, if I was carrying a sofa up some stairs with another person and no one seized the opportunity to use the phrase PIVOT! PIVOT!, I would be extremely disappointed.

I remembered another one. My sister and I use the Ross high pitched I’m fiiiiiiiine to each other a lot / who else is fine.

When someone asked how I was after a miscarriage it may not have been the most appropriate answer.

Years ago a new staff member had just settled in, been there about 2 months or so. Some deal came up where we needed to do some forensics on a client's papers urgently with a completion deadline. New staff member assigned to the team.

There were about 24 hours to go and so much still needed to be clarified for warranties and it was fairly fraught. We always completed deals on time, so I was not too worried, just a grind. A bit of light humour always helps in this situation.

So in jest and in an Oliver Hardy style, with all the gruffness, seriousness and pompousness of his voice I belted out to the team:

"That's another fine mess you have gotten us into!"

Followed by "Well don't just sit there." ................"Why don't you do something to help me?"

Cue new staff member. He shot out of his chair, went to the cabinets and started searching for any and every file or piece of paper that was available. This was in the days when offices only had paper files.

Obviously he didn't make the connection. Maybe he hadn't head of Laurel & Hardy. God I did feel old.

This thread is so funny. I was picturing the OP strung up in a hoist like Boris Johnson on the zip wire.

If DH does something stupid he always says "Jamelia made me do it". I couldn't remember the name of the programme it was from so just googled it and sat laughing to myself. The other one is walking into a room and saying "tis I, L'Eclair" from 'Allo 'Allo (God I am ancient).

I just remembered another one. DH and I always quote the Superman scene where he's holding Lois Lane and says I've got you and she says "but who's got you?". But it has got silly and DH will say something like oh I've got your passport, and I say BUT WHO'S GOT YOOOOUUU

Yes. At work.
Imagine along the lines of
"Oh I've got that file you needed"
"But who's got yoooou?"

😫

I go one step further and SING ‘tell me what you think about me?’ at them, occasionally with additional finger waving actions. Was delighted when DD came home and said she’d almost done it to one of the teachers 😂

We also say ‘my apple-oh-gees’ as per the German Prince (Hugh Laurie) in the last episode of blackadder 2.

There's a bit in Spaced when one of the characters says "oh yeah, I hadn't thought of that!" in a really sarcastic, exaggerated way, and a friend and I used to say it to each other when we'd just made a really obvious statement. It's definitely too niche to use in a work context, I found to my cost.

I also tend to say "tuna" in the same way as Mickey from the League of Gentlemen, and if anyone mentions pens I find it hard not to say "pens are friends" in Pauline style.

That is hilarious OP. I always have to restrain myself from saying ‘skip to the end’ when I’m talking to someone incredibly boring or long winded. Love a Spaced quote in our house.

DH and I quote that at each other at least weekly. It’s too good.

When DH and I take the kids swimming, and see an over-enthusiastic lifeguard, we have to do ‘In 1975, no one died. In 1976, no one died. In 1980, some one died’ but we change the years

We did it on holiday with days of the week, and someone overheard and asked if someone really had died on Wednesday in the hotel pool

And the correct response to the sharing of any mundane achievement is either ‘not all heroes wear capes’ or ‘what do you want? A medal?’

Fine when DH has told me he has emptied the dishwasher, apparently not fine when someone in my team tells me they have submitted their report before the deadline, or got their expenses in on time

Is it wrong that every time my 7 year old says ‘this one time’ (and she says it a lot) I cut in with ‘at band camp’? One day she is going to ask about band camp and I will need to have an answer prepared.

My DS was obsessed with tractors as a toddler, but he couldn't quite say it, so they are now forever known as 'actas'. We still automatically shout 'Iss a acta!' whenever we see one, whether he's in the car or not. I did it when he had his mates in the back seat recently. He's 16. He was not impressed.

Haha I use that one 😂
And "I've got some fucking Jaffa cakes in my coat pocket!"

🤣

I also say, mostly in my head, in band camp @icebearforpresident if I hear anything like this one time, or just one time

We didn't really watch In The League of Gentlemen, but we do quote quite often from it, especially You're not local! and we didn't burn him! My dh likes to say you're my wife now, even though he knows I hate the character that says it.

We do have a lot from the various films over the years, some mentioned already. Not sure I've said them out loud inappropriately though, but wouldn't put it past me. I'm pretty sure dh would have

Haha op that’s hilarious

I’ve not watched the IT crowd but that clip has so much (canned?) laughter I prefer your version

It’s even older than that; there was a ( very disappointing) book purporting to be written by an air hostess (sic) with that title. You were supposed to think that all sorts of naughty revelations about passengers and air crew would be shared….no

if anyone if interested I said revelations, though, there is a book called Air Babylon which is truly jaw dropping (repetition deviation etc)

Lots of the above, plus "a thousand pounds, you say" and "she's a witch!" Both from a children's show when my son was younger, called I'm sorry I've got no head.

Whenever I'm out for food and people suggest sharing I always say "Joey doesn't share!" And NO ONE EVER FUCKING GETS IT.

Not a reference, but I know someone who went to an NHS fire training course in the days where you had to go into a fake ward filled with fake smoke and rescue the “patients”. He has found a baby doll in a bed in the darkness and ran out in slow mo, shouting “IT’S A BAAAAAAYBEEEEE” (again in slow mo voice) and did an action movie roll. Nobody laughed.

@ICriedAllTheWayToTheChipShop I do “aw yeah, I hadn’t fort of that” and “Excuse beef!” at work all the time. Have you seen the outtakes of Reece Shearsmith in Car Share?

these are wonderful.

we watch a lot of IT crowd and my husband walked into my office to being my a cuppa and said to him: “YOU are an excellent woman, you’re the best woman here” without thinking.

my boss was on teams with me at the time, didn’t get it.

all squirrels are forever skirrels, I will never say it correctly again.

Hedgehogs are hedgymogs in our house. And Cheddar Gorge is Cheddar George how’s that for a cheesy pun

@BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop your friend's colleagues clearly have no sense of humour - I would have wet myself laughing at that.

Yes, I love Reece Shearsmith and his ability to speak in tongues. I also like to throw in a "that's what I think of pens" occasionally, and pretend to (or actually) snap a pen in half while saying it.