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Original poster

Do men have relationships/marry women much less attractive than them ?

159 replies

Fifi0 · 03/05/2023 12:34

I saw a male celebrity is dating a woman much more attractive than them. I was wondering have any Mners had LTRs , married men who are much more attractive than them? I don't see many women punching in real life or even many celebrity women.

OP posts:
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7
JaneJeffer · 03/05/2023 14:24

HamptonCaught · 03/05/2023 14:10

Jimmy Carr and Jamie Dornan are the more attractive partners in their relationships.

Really?

Do men have relationships/marry women much less attractive than them ?
Do men have relationships/marry women much less attractive than them ?
Newnailday · 03/05/2023 14:26

Meepledeep · 03/05/2023 12:43

Just anecdotally but I've found the opposite to be the case- very attractive women with not so conventially attractive men. Of course looks are subjective, but guessing you are on about a Scottish singer there is zero chance if he worked elsewhere she'd give him a second look.

Ooh is it Lewis Capaldi?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/05/2023 14:30

I said 'likely'.

Of course he has a lot going for him, I never indicated otherwise.

But none of us have any idea whatsoever!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships
Catlord · 03/05/2023 14:38

Yes it happens. I think all qualities add up to how attractive we find a partner (unless someone is keen on one attribute specifically such as looks or earning power). The two, possibly three couples I'm thinking of are both 30s so haven't aged differently. The men aren't film stars and the women aren't unattractive but they are the plainer of the two. Possibly not what you're asking as there's not a vast difference. In all cases the women have strong personality traits that make it clear why someone would find them attractive. One is extremely sociable and lively. One is a powerhouse in her profession. One I don't know so well but she is really welcoming and fun plus stylish.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 03/05/2023 14:39

I think part of it is down to the differences in how men and women are expected to present themselves in public.

As a man, the difference betweeen me looking my absolute worst vs my absolute best, is a suit, a shower and a shave. It takes half an hour at most

For my partner, it involves hours of choosing the right clothes (or shopping for them), bathing in various potions, a hair cut, hair straightening or curling, fingers and toenails polished, makeup etc.

As a result, an outsiders perspective of whether I'm punching above my weight or not depends hugely on the situation.

Sat on the sofa in PJs with a hangover - more or less even
School run - she's marginally more attractive than him
Down the pub - she could definitely do better
Wedding or other huge event - What bridge did she find this troll under.

Obviously, this is a generalisation. There are women who never wear makeup, just as there are men who spend hours teasing every hair on their head into exactly the right position.

And obviously, I'm talking about an outsiders perspective of us as a couple. I think my partner is just as beautiful whatever she's wearing. In fact, she's at her most beautiful when she's relaxed and laughing, and thats far more likely to be sat on the sofa in our PJs pissing about than it is at a big event worrying about her appearance.

BarkyMatherson · 03/05/2023 14:41

If you love someone then they are beautiful to you, it doesn’t matter what other people thinks.

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 03/05/2023 14:42

I knew a couple like that. But he was a narcissist who enjoyed how besotted and grateful she was to be with him. He was also very controlling and had many affairs. Eventually she saw the light and divorced him, thankfully.

LighterNights · 03/05/2023 14:45

My husband has spent the majority of the past 25 years much more attractive than me, I'm not being modest, it is true. Then husband has started to age and I have done a lot of work to defrump and was looking really good. People have started to say I look younger and a couple of his mates said he was punching above his weight. He started hitting the gym, losing weight, buying new clothes. He has now dumped me for someone 20 years younger. My example didn't turn out well, I think he's so shallow and insecure he couldn't cope with the tide turning. I have no idea how attractive his new woman is, but lets face it, she's bound to look better than a 50 year old man.

RainbowRuby · 03/05/2023 14:45

I know a few couples - in each case the woman/her family are fairly well off - although not significantly more than the guy. Personalities/compatibility of the couples are fantastic with both individuals having strong/matching family values. Seems like the guys are very smitten with their personality/value system.

Mirabai · 03/05/2023 14:49

HamptonCaught · 03/05/2023 14:10

Jimmy Carr and Jamie Dornan are the more attractive partners in their relationships.

You cannot be serious. Jimmy has a face only a mother could love. And Jamie and his wife are equally good looking.

Cat2014 · 03/05/2023 14:55

When dp and I first got together a couple of people commented to us that he was punching being with me 😂however we have been together 6 years and I’ve put on about 2 stone and also I feel my looks with age have deteriorated whereas his have improved! Not that he wasn’t good looking before, I’ve always found him gorgeous, but especially so now!
I don’t like it, feel the ‘balance’ has shifted in the relationship. I need to lose the weight!

but yes generally I think when people first get together it’s more likely to be the woman that’s more attractive. But it does change over time!

SecretsIWouldNeverTell · 03/05/2023 15:03

Jim Caviezel is not the most gorgeous man ever IMO, but he is OK. I would say a 6.5 out of 10 (lookswise.) His wife is not ugly either as one rude poster suggested; she is matched lookswise IMO. A 6.5 too. (IMHO.)

Some people are so mean. I have heard a few people saying nasty things about Chris Ramsey's wife AND Gino D'Acampos wife because they're both 'not thin.' They are BOTH pretty.

Me personally, I was a 9 out of 10 when I was younger - think similar to Kim Wilde. Curves in all the right places, big-ish boobs, nice legs, long blonde wavy hair, blue eyed, 24-25" waist, turned heads everywhere. (I am 5 ft 4.) DH was good looking but not stunning. A bit normal/average. Looked a bit like Mulder from X Files. I'd rate him as a 6.5 for his looks. He used to get so pissed off and angry at men chatting me up and whistling at me and looking at me, and he hated it! I said 'I can't help it. That's the price you pay for being with me. As the song goes..... 'When you're in love with a beautiful woman...'

Anyway, fast forward a couple of decades, and I'm 4 stone heavier, my hair's gone frizzy, I have chubby arms, and a double chin, and I haven't turned heads since the late noughties (when I was in my early 40s.) It's quite depressing. Sad I'd rate myself as a 5.5 now. 7 for my face. (Still got nice eyes and a nice smile.) And a 4 for my body...) So 5.5 out of 10.

DH on the other hand, whilst he has gained 2 or 3 stone, he is 8" taller than me, and a MAN, so he carries the extra weight better. And his greying salt & pepper hair looks distinguished, whilst mine makes me look 10 years older than my age (so I keep it dyed blonde to look my age!) And I'd say he is still a 6 now! So whilst we are pretty fairly matched, I have lost my looks more than him.

I do know several couples who have a man who is better looking. No wealth or power in place, just normal working class couples in 2 and 3 bed semis. One guy looks like Tom Cruise, and his wife looks like Eileen from Corrie. The match is bizarre.

JaneJeffer · 03/05/2023 15:10

I'm not going to have any sympathy for someone who had years of looking like Kim Wilde @SecretsIWouldNeverTell Grin

SecretsIWouldNeverTell · 03/05/2023 15:14

😂

potatohead1 · 03/05/2023 15:15

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/05/2023 13:30

Of course looks are subjective, but guessing you are on about a Scottish singer there is zero chance if he worked elsewhere she'd give him a second look.

I'm sure she isn't disappointed with how much money and fame he has; but I think it's horribly prejudiced to assume/insinuate that all physically attractive people are shallow and only interested in equal physical attractiveness in a partner unless they're loaded.

Why can't somebody who happens to be very good-looking be attracted to somebody's personality, intelligence, kindness, warmth, bonhomie, humour, talent etc., just because they may not have traditionally good looks to go with it?

Of course, it does happen a lot in the perceived way, but even when it does, I'm still not convinced I see the issue, as long as the two people involved are honest with each other. Good looks are attractive, wealth is attractive; even if there are no other attractions between them, who are we to tell people what they are allowed to find attractive in a potential partner?

I agree. The fact is, he is NOT a Xxxx(fill in with whatever job you think of as a bit shite). He's a mega talented and emotionally available man. If he was someone else then of course she wouldn't look at him. Because he would be someone else. He hilarious. And self deprecating and of course what he is caught her attention but who he is is what will hold her there.

SquidwardBound · 03/05/2023 15:19

My STBXH thinks he’s much more attractive than me. And superior to me in every way.

OTOH, the stress of dealing with him has not translated brilliantly into my attractiveness.

Meepledeep · 03/05/2023 15:19

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/05/2023 13:30

Of course looks are subjective, but guessing you are on about a Scottish singer there is zero chance if he worked elsewhere she'd give him a second look.

I'm sure she isn't disappointed with how much money and fame he has; but I think it's horribly prejudiced to assume/insinuate that all physically attractive people are shallow and only interested in equal physical attractiveness in a partner unless they're loaded.

Why can't somebody who happens to be very good-looking be attracted to somebody's personality, intelligence, kindness, warmth, bonhomie, humour, talent etc., just because they may not have traditionally good looks to go with it?

Of course, it does happen a lot in the perceived way, but even when it does, I'm still not convinced I see the issue, as long as the two people involved are honest with each other. Good looks are attractive, wealth is attractive; even if there are no other attractions between them, who are we to tell people what they are allowed to find attractive in a potential partner?

Oh I'm sure he knows and is content with it.

Rightnowstraightaway · 03/05/2023 15:22

I know three couples where I'd say the guy is much more physically attractive than the woman. But in all three cases the woman is a wonderful, wonderful person (not all wonderful in the same way. One is the funniest person I know. One is incredibly kind and generous, the kind of person you bare your soul to).

Most couples I know are pretty even.

One of the best looking guys I've ever met is also a total dick, so I don't assume in mismatched pairings that the less physically attractive one necessarily has the better part of the deal.

Bexx87 · 03/05/2023 15:27

I've only really seen it the other way round but that's because I think in general women are more attractive and there are more attractive women than men. My husband is probably a bit less physically attractive than me but I don't always go for looks. I have to be attracted sexually but that might come from charisma, intelligence etc.

runlift · 03/05/2023 15:29

I think part of the reason women tend to be 'best looking' than their partners is that women use more enhancers - makeup, heels, surgery etc etc. To really turn heads without makeup, you need to be truly blessed!

I do know one man who really was blessed by the gods-looks like Prince Charming, tall, dark, handsome, full head of hair, charming, intelligent, fit body, wealthy, kind etc. His wife is attractive, smart and bubbly but can't match his 10 for looks!

PousseyNotMoira · 03/05/2023 15:32

I can think of several couples that fit that description irl and quite a few celeb examples (a few attached). All the women in
question are perfectly nice looking and it’s not difficult to imagine why anyone would find them attractive, but they’re not supermodel level. And the men arguably are.

I don’t think anyone sensible picks their partner based on looks beyond ‘do I find this person attractive?’

Do men have relationships/marry women much less attractive than them ?
Do men have relationships/marry women much less attractive than them ?
Do men have relationships/marry women much less attractive than them ?
Do men have relationships/marry women much less attractive than them ?
ily0xx · 03/05/2023 15:34

Remember that women have makeup and men don’t. These couples your showing photos of, if the women weren’t wearing makeup I’m sure it would be a different story.

ModestMoon · 03/05/2023 15:37

I wonder whether women's tastes are less impacted by what someone looks like, which is why they go for men who look less attractive than them. For me at least attraction is based on loads of different factors, especially how they sound and hold themselves. So I might find someone madly attractive based on those qualities, which wouldn't do it for someone else.

I think I am more attractive than my partner. When we met he was more attractive, but I'm 7 years younger so age for him first.

PousseyNotMoira · 03/05/2023 15:39

SecretsIWouldNeverTell · 03/05/2023 15:03

Jim Caviezel is not the most gorgeous man ever IMO, but he is OK. I would say a 6.5 out of 10 (lookswise.) His wife is not ugly either as one rude poster suggested; she is matched lookswise IMO. A 6.5 too. (IMHO.)

Some people are so mean. I have heard a few people saying nasty things about Chris Ramsey's wife AND Gino D'Acampos wife because they're both 'not thin.' They are BOTH pretty.

Me personally, I was a 9 out of 10 when I was younger - think similar to Kim Wilde. Curves in all the right places, big-ish boobs, nice legs, long blonde wavy hair, blue eyed, 24-25" waist, turned heads everywhere. (I am 5 ft 4.) DH was good looking but not stunning. A bit normal/average. Looked a bit like Mulder from X Files. I'd rate him as a 6.5 for his looks. He used to get so pissed off and angry at men chatting me up and whistling at me and looking at me, and he hated it! I said 'I can't help it. That's the price you pay for being with me. As the song goes..... 'When you're in love with a beautiful woman...'

Anyway, fast forward a couple of decades, and I'm 4 stone heavier, my hair's gone frizzy, I have chubby arms, and a double chin, and I haven't turned heads since the late noughties (when I was in my early 40s.) It's quite depressing. Sad I'd rate myself as a 5.5 now. 7 for my face. (Still got nice eyes and a nice smile.) And a 4 for my body...) So 5.5 out of 10.

DH on the other hand, whilst he has gained 2 or 3 stone, he is 8" taller than me, and a MAN, so he carries the extra weight better. And his greying salt & pepper hair looks distinguished, whilst mine makes me look 10 years older than my age (so I keep it dyed blonde to look my age!) And I'd say he is still a 6 now! So whilst we are pretty fairly matched, I have lost my looks more than him.

I do know several couples who have a man who is better looking. No wealth or power in place, just normal working class couples in 2 and 3 bed semis. One guy looks like Tom Cruise, and his wife looks like Eileen from Corrie. The match is bizarre.

You really ought to stop giving people (including yourself) marks out of 10 for their looks. It’s weird, dehumanising objectification and extremely dated. You’re presumably not a frat boy.

PousseyNotMoira · 03/05/2023 15:42

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 03/05/2023 14:39

I think part of it is down to the differences in how men and women are expected to present themselves in public.

As a man, the difference betweeen me looking my absolute worst vs my absolute best, is a suit, a shower and a shave. It takes half an hour at most

For my partner, it involves hours of choosing the right clothes (or shopping for them), bathing in various potions, a hair cut, hair straightening or curling, fingers and toenails polished, makeup etc.

As a result, an outsiders perspective of whether I'm punching above my weight or not depends hugely on the situation.

Sat on the sofa in PJs with a hangover - more or less even
School run - she's marginally more attractive than him
Down the pub - she could definitely do better
Wedding or other huge event - What bridge did she find this troll under.

Obviously, this is a generalisation. There are women who never wear makeup, just as there are men who spend hours teasing every hair on their head into exactly the right position.

And obviously, I'm talking about an outsiders perspective of us as a couple. I think my partner is just as beautiful whatever she's wearing. In fact, she's at her most beautiful when she's relaxed and laughing, and thats far more likely to be sat on the sofa in our PJs pissing about than it is at a big event worrying about her appearance.

I love everything about this comment. So true! 🤣