F*cked up massively - work related. Perspective needed

[Stupidworkgirl]

I have an important business trip abroad tomorrow which myself and several other colleagues are going on. It is a major event in our industry and we have been planning it for a while. I have done the majority of the planning and have enjoyed it and was excited to attend. Our company director is going along with my boss and several coworkers, one of which reports to me.

I have lost my passport. I only realised this at 4pm today when packing. I am meant to fly out on an early morning flight. We have a very tidy minimalist home and have searched everywhere, it is definitely not here. I last travelled a few months ago and can only think I dropped it somewhere between security and my car.

I have called my boss who has told the MD. My boss was understanding and kind about it, I don’t know what the MDs reaction was. I’m absolutely gutted. Missing out on the event is a horrible feeling but is actually the least of it, that will wear off once it is over at the end of this week. It is more the damage to my reputation and how people might think of me going forward. I’m honestly considering leaving and finding a new job, as I don’t know how I will mentally bounce back from it.

Looking for reassurance or perhaps any similar tales or fucking up at work.

It just shows you are human and I once booked a return flight for the right day, wrong year!!! Luckily the boss (yep, the boss!) could change at the airport, but was still mortified!

Good job! St Anthony is for everyone 😀😀

What's done can't be changed - as others have said it's how you move forward that shows your professional mettle. So, see if you can consider how you would counsel a friend in the same situation - you'd be sympathetic but also you'd remind her that she's only human, people make mistakes and that the important thing is how well she'd done organising the event, especially one happening so far away. You'd probably tell her to hold her head high at work and say "yes, it's annoying but I can't change it now. I hope the event goes well and you'll see me at the next one".

You're not stupid, you're human! Everyone makes honest, genuine mistakes! Use this simple mistake to learn how to deal with something going wrong in life. You are in a safe environment in your workplace and safe places are the ideal places to learn in. You feel like a fool, humiliated, embarrassed, and ashamed. Deal with these feelings - face them and realise they really aren't that bad. You have achieved so much in your job, one honest mistake does not now overshadow all the great things you have done in your job. Accept, move on and do not run away from this. You seem happy in your workplace and job and it would be counterproductive to throw all that away now. Head up, smile on and keep going! You can do this!

Can you try to see the positive in this, in that you’ve got extra days in work to progress a task or project you’ve not had the time to look at?
or maybe at home in the evenings you were meant to be away, to get a few jobs done?
I would also be very upset by this, as I pride myself on being organised, but you need to forgive yourself and move on!

@Womencanlift

That's a great piece of advice & one I hope I can remember!

We “lost” a passport once OP, they were always put together in the same drawer, one of passports has gone to the back of the drawer and slipped underneath, discovered when I took the draw out. Another thought, have you used the passport for ID recently? I hope you find it soon.

How disappointing, I do feel for you. But echoing what others have said your response to this error is what you have control over now, and a calm, rational and graciously apologetic yet pragmatic attitude together with an obvious readiness to move on and do your dignified best will be what people see. Leave now (really?) and you forgetting to find your passport in good time will be their enduring memory of you. That would be embarrassing!

But since OP never asked, she wouldn't know about it.

Have you checked every inch of your dd's room?

I agree, kick someone while they're down why don't you. Poor OP is upset and there's someone muttering this wouldn't have happened if you were a perfectionist. 😳. Hope you're ok OP. As a PP said one day this will be a funny story to tell. Don't hand your notice in and don't be so hard on yourself. These things happen to the best of us.

Oh OP, I feel your pain. The only consolation I can offer you is that absolutely everyone has done something similar at some point. My own utter b@llsup story was an almighty cringe-fest with me praying the ground would swallow me up.

I run and perform in a touring tribute band. At 12.30am one night back in December 2019, I get a call from my booking agent, which I ignore. Then about 10 minutes after, I get another call from my co-singer. Turns out, we hadn’t turned up to do a ticketed event because I had accidentally put the date in my diary for the FOLLOWING year. The poor venue had had approx 80 furious guests who had paid for dinner, bubbles and a live band.

I reckon the only reason I didn’t get sacked was because up until then, I’d had a flawless track record. I spent the remainder of the Xmas season mortified thinking it was the worst thing that could ever happen.

Turns out it wasn’t…we lost all our work and income a few months later when the pandemic destroyed our industry.

Don't worry OP, just do the positive stuff. Be able to say to your bosses that you've learnt from it and put in a system to make sure it doesn't happen again, which obviously means checking your passport a week before travel so you have time to renew if ood/lost and tell them your application for a new one went in the next day. Look organised and in charge about this error.

I know it's been mentioned quite a lot in the thread but there is a certain prayer for St Anthony too

"Dear St. Anthony, please come around: something is lost, and it cannot be found."

Also you've mentioned checking the car have you flipped the back seats up - if you put your hand under the back/upright of the seats and reach down you should be able to kind of grab and pull them forward so they flip up towards the front seats.

I cannot tell you how much better you have inadvertently made people feel - probably colleagues and certainly on here. If someone who is good at adulting, who has their house and shit together, can lose their passport, it gives the rest of us messy mere mortals permission to fuck up too. Today sucks for you and I don’t wish that sinking feeling on anybody but please take long term satisfaction from the fact you have made others feel better about their ‘flaws’ and made yourself more relatable in the office. 💐

I know it's too late now, but is it possible you've had to use it for ID purposes, and not returned it to the safe?

I did this recently for some Land registry stuff and left the passport in the envelope with all the other paperwork.

Call the airport you remember the passport at last!

Absolutely no consolation whatsoever, but I’m my faith, when things go wrong or you are prevented from doing something, we say it’s a protection from something else further down the line going wrong. Just a different perspective. It’s helped me to get through some things.

It's a pain in the arse, but don't be too hard on yourself. We've all done something stupid & survived.

Believe me you can check something three times and miss it!

Rory Stewart, who travels all the time, mentions this in his podcast with Alastair Campbell. He is always saying that nine times out of ten the thing is where you thought it was in the first place.

Best piece of career advice I ever got was that people will remember your reaction to a disappointment or “failure” much more than the failure itself

I've been asked at interviews to describe a time when something went wrong and how I dealt with it. The emphasis is very much on the second part of the question. Saying what went wrong is the S part of STAR and they're much more interested in the last three letters.

I did lose my horse's passport for several months once. Turned out I'd filed it with all his stuff, but I hadn't thought to look in the place it should have been. I assumed I was too disorganised to put it there.

I'm sure your fellow employees have done similar. We all have. They won't think less of you unless they are the vindictive type, and I'm sure sympathise. It's much more unfortunate that you won't get to enjoy and network on the trip. Even the most meticulous people have mishaps. It could even have been stolen and you weren't aware of it.

I lost my passport once. My then bf and I were flying to Madrid the next day, and after I had finished packing I sat down and said to my house-mate 'what have I forgotten?'. First thing she said was 'passport,....' and as soon as she said it, I thought.....oh... shit. I had just forgotten that I needed a passport! And then... where was it? I couldn't find it... I went to my parents' house... and still couldn't find it...
I rang bf, and explained. He was baffled on the phone, and I urged him to go by himself. But he didn't do that. He switched the flights to Edinburgh (at a cost... it ended up being a very expensive way to travel to Edinburgh), and booked a B&B there, and we went together. He didn't really even ever tease me about it.
Reader, I married him.

You must stay cool but not arrogant about this OP. This is human error only and in a few weeks it will all be forgotten.

Your reaction is OTT but I would feel the exact same way. Managing your reaction in front of the bosses is your number one priority now.

There is no way your DP has hidden it like the PP said that hers did? 100% sure of this?

Listen lovely, It.Will.Get .Better.

It really hurts now but it will fade with time. Today is worst. Tomorrow will be better.

Be kind to yourself. Every one is human and makes mistakes.