F*cked up massively - work related. Perspective needed

[Stupidworkgirl]

I have an important business trip abroad tomorrow which myself and several other colleagues are going on. It is a major event in our industry and we have been planning it for a while. I have done the majority of the planning and have enjoyed it and was excited to attend. Our company director is going along with my boss and several coworkers, one of which reports to me.

I have lost my passport. I only realised this at 4pm today when packing. I am meant to fly out on an early morning flight. We have a very tidy minimalist home and have searched everywhere, it is definitely not here. I last travelled a few months ago and can only think I dropped it somewhere between security and my car.

I have called my boss who has told the MD. My boss was understanding and kind about it, I don’t know what the MDs reaction was. I’m absolutely gutted. Missing out on the event is a horrible feeling but is actually the least of it, that will wear off once it is over at the end of this week. It is more the damage to my reputation and how people might think of me going forward. I’m honestly considering leaving and finding a new job, as I don’t know how I will mentally bounce back from it.

Looking for reassurance or perhaps any similar tales or fucking up at work.

Guessing you didn’t read follow up before your knee jerk

Honestly op someone has likely stolen it so it’s not even your fault. Happened to me at Heathrow it got pickpocketed also again on another business trip. While I was away too so was then stuck in the city that was locking down due to a natural disaster. Fun times!

@Magnoliainbloom I have considered this, that maybe for some reason it wasn't meant to be.

OP - I was once heading out on a work trip and passport was fully lost. I check everywhere, EVERYWHERE.

On the 5th search of that car at 11pm (4am pick up) I found it hidden down the side of a seat that had been checked 4 previous times. Damn passports are so SMOL.

It can happen to anyone, don't let it get to you.

Don't be daft. It's far far more likely to have been lost than stolen.

Are you at work now Op?

any friends available this week that you could meet for a glass of wine and chat about this in RL? Nothing beats chatting things through with a friend in RL for putting things into perspective I find

@TheaBrandt

someone has likely stolen it so it’s not even your fault.

surely you don’t reply think that?!

General update - the airport have responded to the lost property form I completed to say nothing matches on their database. I'm quite staggered by how quickly they have responded. That was the last possibility of me going on the trip so I've accepted now that I'm definitely not going.

I've now reported it lost on the Gov UK website, and with the local police. Next step will be getting sent something that will enable me to apply for a new one.

Colleagues I was flying with have arrived now. I've emailed everyone on the trip to say I'm sorry I wont be there but I'm available to help from the office with anything they may need. Feel very sad at the idea of them all being there while I'm here, feeling quite jealous and resentful.

I have a tendency to dwell on things. I am actually a very positive, glass half full type of person (which may not have come across much on this thread) but when something gets me and the obsession begins I find it hard to switch off and can obsess/overthink for longer than is reasonable.

My passport was stolen - well, my bag was stolen and my passport was in it. It happens 🤷‍♀️

Of course it happens

but “likely”? No

@Bamboozleme I'm at work now yes, and managed to keep it quiet how much this is getting to me. Luckily I'm good at putting on a front. I've not made a joke of it either though, so everyone will know I'm taking it seriously.

I'm hoping to visit our neighbours tonight, they are older and have a lot of life experience. They are also very upbeat and practical, I think being around them right now would help me. Obviously my DH is supportive but there is only so much he can say.

@Womencanlift That's great advice !

Ok so….

if were you and at work… I’d get off mumsnet for a start and get cracking on work. If you feel like your working whilst there away rather than on mumsnet, you won’t feel so guilty.

I would then message a friend and ask them to meet me for lunch or after work. Talk it through.

and then box it up and bin it

I'm hoping to visit our neighbours tonight, they are older and have a lot of life experience

Yes, I was wondering if you may be quite young / inexperienced. One advantage of being older is that sense of perspective of what really matters and what just feels bad for a while

I've spent far too much time now looking for a really encouraging twitter thread about mistakes people have made at work. I didn't find the one I was looking for, but I found another one that is almost as good. Read it, and remember, these people state quite openly that they made these mistakes - you will too one time and you will feel better! (These ones are mainly IT related, the one I thought of had mainly non-IT mistakes.)

Examples include:

"Was a pre-uni banking intern. One Thursday afternoon, I got a salaries list to process before lunch. I never went back to the office that afternoon, and close to 15k security guards went into the weekend unpaid. It was an Easter weekend..."

"I was a nervous 21-year old coder, sitting in a meeting with a big client. Turns out, I had forgotten my materials at our office. The client’s big boss was furious and told me to go get them right away. But I had no car. So the big boss lent his brand new Saab. I crashed it."

"Early 2005, a major US airline had no available seats left on their flight OMA-BOI because I had booked something like 40+ of them with names like “Testy McWebtest”, and didn’t know I needed to run an additional script to cancel test bookings."

"I once removed the iPhone from sale on the Apple Online store for about 10 minutes before realizing what I had done."

"A buddy of mine was patching servers for an airline during the day. MS swore up and down it wouldn’t cause an issue. Brought down all their kiosks and displays while the airline CEO was being interviewed in JFK."

"First job out of grad school. Consulting company. We need to migrate their data from one server to another one. For some reason and I had noooo idea why, I had to drop one table and not the other. I dropped the wrong table. There was no backup. Always have backups. Always"

https://twitter.com/ElleArmageddon/status/1255870742727585792

If I find the thread I thought about (more varied examples) I'll get back to you.

And here's my mistake: first job after university, working at a university. I was responsible to send invites to all deans + the deputy vice-chancellor to an event. All done, the day before the event we checked the responses and realised the deputy hadn't responded. I'd forgotten about him, he was on 'another list' than the deans. I felt mortified. I e-mailed him to let him know about the event and to apologise profusely. He responded quickly and said 'so nice that it's not only me making mistakes'. That is how most people will respond to others' mistakes - yours too! I was so grateful to his perfect response to a young new employee that he didn't even know.

It’s not likely but does happen I have had two passports stolen - one out of my bag waiting for baggage reclaim after an international flight. If op has literally searched everywhere and lives a minimalist life it’s a possibility

Check in the car boot where the hidden tyre/accessories are located or in your child's treasure chest. My son played hide and seek with my purse last week. I found it in a tin box on top of his wardrobe. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes but both times you knew immediately

it would be very peculiar for it to have been stolen from her home

Uk airport… great place to lose! Would have in all likelihood handed in or picked up by staff and you would have been contacted.

I'm disappointed it's not in that bag at work @Stupidworkgirl.
You ran in from your last trip to say goodnight to your dd. Did you put the passport on top of the bedside locker and someone tidied it away - they put it into the locker.
I know its a moot point now anyway as you have cancelled the passport.

In the place where you usually keep passports, was your DH’s there?

and I would probably have rolled my eyes and thought about how daft they were then forgotten about it.

For what it’s worth, I would never have rolled my eyes and thought someone was daft in this situation.

I would just think “poor @Stupidworkgirl , especially given how hard she’s worked on this”

@Stupidworkgirl please don’t dwell on this. In the overall scheme of things it’s not that serious. Nobody has suffered any type of serious harm from this and you have been completely honest with everyone about what has happened.

I lost my passport many years ago just before I was due to go on my honeymoon. Our home is not minimalist like yours, so I spent hours searching for it. In the end I got an emergency passport very quickly (which involved a day trip to a passport office a long way away). Even after 20 years in this house, I’ve never found the lost passport but it taught me to be a bit tidier!

I forgot to tell my one and only witness the date of a trial. When I did tell him, he told me he was off on a world cruise to celebrate retirement.

I have never felt so anxious, tearful or sick for as long as I did then! Now I use it as a 'worst mistake I've ever made' anecdote.

You could have got up early and took the ferry! Only need photo ID like a driving licence for that! :-) don't be so hard on yourself, everyone makes mistakes.