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Original poster

My celebrity boss is a lunatic I'm losing the plot

592 replies

Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 10:59

My boss is a celebrity in our industry. Think: 100s of 1000s of social media followers, his own podcast...and all the ego that goes with that.

He is also rude (telling people their ideas are fucking shit), a huge micromanager and a bully. Everyone at work says this, not just me. His adoring fans don't see this side of him.

When I took the job he wasn't my boss. He fired my boss publicly saying he wasn't up to the job and now I have to work much more closely with the celebrity boss. My stress and anxiety are through the roof. I am criticised for everything and publicly. Literally not one thing is right (even obvious achievements). I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm very experienced and well paid and in my 40s. I'm good at my job.

I'm obviously looking for a new job.

Spoke to HR who just sighed and said he is like that. He owns the company.

How do I cope. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. I also have to manage a team who he undermines me in front of.

Literally every hour is miserable and terrifying.

I can't do anything legally or practically. I need emotional coping tips because I am a wreck. I worry what this is doing to my physical as well as mental health.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
247achybreakyheart · 03/05/2023 00:48

Quitelikeacatslife · 01/05/2023 11:21

Collect evidence now that you are doing the job you are paid for, get evidence of your achievements etc stashed away and also of any unfair treatment, get him to put things in writing, and if he fires you then take him to tribunal for unfair dismissal. It sounds like someone needs to stand up to him. He won't want the publicity of that

I’m so so sorry you’re going through this OP- this is what I was gonna come on here to say- are you in a union? I had a job I was in for 6 years - the first 3-4 were great but something changed and the atmosphere was awful, it became management & ‘us’ (small team so was never like that) for the 2 years b4 I left I kept a note, email, screenshot ect of every tiny thing that was said/done to belittle, humiliate me- including being demoted at a staff meeting! That was the straw that broke the camels back- I couldn’t stay after that and I walked out and went to tribunal for ‘constructive dismissal’- it was settled out of court and I never got an apology but I took the settlement because I was just too stressed by that time about seeing the staff members again- so that would be my advice- NOBODY has the right to treat you like that I don’t care who they are! You go to work to do a job, not get bullied! This kinda shit makes me furious! I really really hope you find somewhere new & better & soon op! Take care xx

ensayers · 03/05/2023 01:23

Gather evidence. Especially stuff where he's breaking the law, sick pay etc, Secret recordings. Emails. Copy contact info for as many ppl that have a silent hatred of him or have been pushed out.
When you do eventually leave, on good terms or bad, sell all that info you have kept to the press.

Nanaof1 · 03/05/2023 03:42

Mistletoewench · 01/05/2023 12:03

Ooh I think I know who you are hinting at 😬

Show quote history

Inquiring minds want to know who this famous financial advisor is? At least initals?

Nanaof1 · 03/05/2023 03:46

Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 12:20

Thank you @Whydidyou I read the first one but way before I got this job. Will look out the sequel. This and some of the early posts are the sorts of advice I was hoping for. This is about coping emotionally with a situation I cannot change until I can leave.

Document, document, document. Get what you can on tape or video and hopefully you did not sign an NDA and won't have to when you leave. Then out the azzhat with a book and you'll be booked onto talk shows, podcasts, etc. We will all say, "We knew her/him when...". And clap for you. Heartily! 😀👏👏

Thinking2022 · 03/05/2023 07:11

Sounds very hard. I hope a new job comes up soon. In the meantime try google to find strategies to help. My personal favourite is to kill with kindness. If told something I did is dreadful in front of others maybe saying I am sorry you feel that way. How would you like it done next time? He has to stop ranting and then think. Idea is if you do this each time he stops ranting bc knows he will have to come up with something else. Deepak chokra has some guidance as does Domonique Bertolucci (author). Apparently asking how was your day first as interaction can help too

Allergictoironing · 03/05/2023 07:17

A reminder to check in your contract things like notice period, I got caught out once when I thought the probationary period notice was a week - which it was if they are "letting you go", but a month if you resigned. My options were working out the whole month, or taking instant notice which meant that not only did I not get paid for the leave I had accrued, but actually having to pay THEM back as they'd paid me until the end of the month & I left 2 days before that.

Also check for any restrictions on how long you need to wait before taking a job in the same field after leaving. Unfortunately I think this is legal, as a protection against you taking company confidential information to your next employer.

SarBobs · 03/05/2023 07:42

Fudgewomble · 01/05/2023 14:06

good point made by pp about learning skills that will stand you in good stead. I had a boss who had some kind of personality disorder (sociopath maybe? Way beyond narcissism) and while sadly I left that job and was unable to work for a few years because of her, I am now in a very senior national role precisely because I am now completely unmoved by bad behaviour in the workplace. Nothing will compare to the torment this woman put me through but now, many years later, it’s given me incredible coping skills which has meant I am given a huge amount of responsibility.

you just need to be able to do is get through the next few months.

Please would you share some of the things you have learned? I have never been able to learn this and am out of the workplace now as I seem unable to deal with selfish, politicking, undermining colleagues and bosses.

Whochangedmynamec · 03/05/2023 08:15

Interesting that in the US some MAGA type talking head - sc rhymes with dowder is being exposed following video of him berating his wife- reports of various things are coming through from ex employees. Yet- everyone sat there and took it for years apparently.

Eventingmum · 03/05/2023 09:41

I have a three month notice period - can you hand your notice in now and then find a a job?

monsteramunch · 03/05/2023 10:19

Whochangedmynamec · 03/05/2023 08:15

Interesting that in the US some MAGA type talking head - sc rhymes with dowder is being exposed following video of him berating his wife- reports of various things are coming through from ex employees. Yet- everyone sat there and took it for years apparently.

You can say his name, the story is in the public domain being reported on widely. It's Steven Crowder.

TheBrokenCracker · 03/05/2023 10:22

How is it going OP? Has any of the advice been working out well for you?

Thesharkradar · 03/05/2023 11:46

Yet- everyone sat there and took it for years apparently
I think that's because each victim tends to feel as if they are the only victim and the perpetrator works hard to keep it that way, instinctively (or sometimes deliberately ) using various strategies, mostly 'divide and conquer'.
When you feel as if it's only happening to you you tend to feel as if it must be your fault, this rich and successful person must be in the right because they are rich and successful therefore it must be your fault you're getting such bad treatment. This is often just an implicit feeling rather than something that is explicitly thought through.
When you realise that there are other victims and you see that this is just his modus operandi .....everything flips.

Nily4567 · 03/05/2023 12:37

Sounds like he has way more to lose than you - record your evidence

if push comes to shove take him to a tribunal - bet he would cave - celebrity requires acceptance. Bullying is much less tolerated these days and associated companies would very likely any to distance themselves from a celebrity that displays proved abusive behaviour.

I once told the head of HR for a large FTE 100 company he needed to start looking out for employees as well as the c*nts upstairs…it was very very cathartic (I left and suggest you do, toxic employers simply aren’t worth it - life is too short and your mental health is more important)

thinkfast · 03/05/2023 13:26

You know this already OP but you need to find a new job.

Bullies don't ever really change and the longer you work with them the more it chips at your confidence. It's very very difficult to build that confidence back again and then it becomes harder and harder to find the strength to get a new job.

Good luck OP.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 03/05/2023 17:06

Nily4567 · 03/05/2023 12:37

Sounds like he has way more to lose than you - record your evidence

if push comes to shove take him to a tribunal - bet he would cave - celebrity requires acceptance. Bullying is much less tolerated these days and associated companies would very likely any to distance themselves from a celebrity that displays proved abusive behaviour.

I once told the head of HR for a large FTE 100 company he needed to start looking out for employees as well as the c*nts upstairs…it was very very cathartic (I left and suggest you do, toxic employers simply aren’t worth it - life is too short and your mental health is more important)

HR is there for the company, never for the staff, in cases like these.

DeeLasVegas · 03/05/2023 18:39

Did you sign an NDA?

Macinae · 03/05/2023 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Macinae · 03/05/2023 22:31

My link wasn't allowed but Google "Martin Macdonald tattle life".

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 04/05/2023 12:32

Sorry not to update. Have not stopped with work.

There is some good news in that a figure with some influence who was hostile to me is now speaking up for me. This was after I attempted to build a relationship with him...I was surprised how little effort it took. I also thought he idolised the celeb boss and was amazed to discover he didn't. In fact he said "I know he bullied other kids at school and well you see the person he is today."

I haven't had any contact with my boss for a few days...Will be speaking with him in a couple of hours so that will be the first chance to put some points into action.

OP posts:
Ellyess · 04/05/2023 14:20

Can you wear a hidden camera and film him? Especially if you have to see him alone.

I am so sorry for you.
You said you had worked "with narcissists before but I think this guy is a psychopath or sociopath...his behaviour is so extreme." Well, I happen to know that many narcissists also are psychopaths. He certainly is from the things you have described.
I hope you get out soon but it would be good if you could stop him hurting people by showing everybody the truth about him. If he posts online what you have said, I can't see how posting his behaviour online is any different. Be sure you have a new job first! Whatever you do with the film, at least you have proof of his unreasonable behaviour. I am sure there is a law against what he is doing. A man bullied my daughter at work years ago and she took it to an employment court of some kind and won.
Wishing you much deserved good luck. How I wish he could be put in jail. He is so wicked. It should be illegal to torment people like this.

passthegingordon · 04/05/2023 14:38

Can you wear a hidden camera and film him?

As massively tempting as this sounds please don't do this, or even record him audibly without his explicit consent, or you may find he ends up being the last one laughing as you find yourself in front of an employment tribunal.

Ellyess · 04/05/2023 21:06

passthegingordon · 04/05/2023 14:38

Can you wear a hidden camera and film him?

As massively tempting as this sounds please don't do this, or even record him audibly without his explicit consent, or you may find he ends up being the last one laughing as you find yourself in front of an employment tribunal.

I bow to this wise advice that sounds rather authoritative - I think the Writer may know a lot more than I. Just a thought - what if you simply kept a recording for your own record? But don't risk getting yourself into any trouble. Perhaps takesomeone with you as a witness. I once had reason not to feel safe with a Boss and was told never to see him on my own.

Thanks passthegingordon

Rosscameasdoody · 04/05/2023 22:24

passthegingordon · 04/05/2023 14:38

Can you wear a hidden camera and film him?

As massively tempting as this sounds please don't do this, or even record him audibly without his explicit consent, or you may find he ends up being the last one laughing as you find yourself in front of an employment tribunal.

Audio recordings, including those made covertly, can be admissible as evidence in an employment tribunal if they’re relevant. Tribunals have wide discretion as to whether they will allow them or not.

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 05/05/2023 00:55

Anyone posting about covert recordings or selling stories has had a massive failure in reading the question. The question is about emotional coping strategies to deal with a bullying boss, on which subject there's been great advice.

OP posts:
SoTiredNeedHoliday · 05/05/2023 06:51

@Niceseasidetown i'd be very careful with the person that was hostile to you and is now being supportive without much effort on your part - people have their own agenda. You'd hate to lose the job you need because this person is actually just saying what you want to hear but badmouthing you behind your back.

I'd only voice my opinion to someone in HR with a record of the discussion.

I hope you are able to manage things to turn them around