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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Do you spend time in your bedroom

114 replies

allisgood47 · 30/04/2023 14:26

I'm decorating my house room by room . I was going to do my room first as I always do everything for the kids before myself. I asked for some ideas and it seems people spend time in their bedroom . I had suggestions like a nice reading corner . A place to enjoy the view. A comfortable place to chill out etc. Then I thought whats the point all I do is sleep in my room . So maybe i should do the kids rooms first .

I had not realised adults spend time in their room other than when they sleep. ?

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 01/05/2023 08:27

you can only be in one room at a time. You really dont need for that to be a one room in daylight hours and a different room at night.

Who are you to say that? I have found it profoundly negatively affects my mental health to spend all day in one room.

I don't have a second living room, I have one living room and one bedroom, I relax/work in the living room and work in the bedroom. Almost all houses are equipped with a living room and bedroom - how I am I displaying some kind of shocking display of waste by using both?

aSofaNearYou · 01/05/2023 08:30

but as I said, you can only be in one room at a time, you dont need one room for day, and one for night, and leave each standing empty and unused half the time - it is a position of phenomenal privilege. It must be a tiny percent of the worlds people that are this rich

Do you not have a living room? Do you not find that most people have a living room? What you're saying is really bizarre - the vast majority of people have a living room.

Perhaps you're coming at it from the position of phenomenal privilege of assuming all family members NEED to be in their own room all the time so each family member would need an individual living room to avoid being in their bedroom. This isn't an assumption I make so naturally while we're all in the living room, the bedrooms are empty. Are you seriously saying there's something strange or wrong about that?

DustyLee123 · 01/05/2023 08:31

I read and sleep in my room, and sometimes flick through TikTok when DH is watching football again.

Interested in this thread?

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GreenMarigold · 01/05/2023 08:34

I have a dressing table so do skin care and drying my hair etc in my room as well as getting ready.

But other than that, the bedroom is just for sleeping.

We don’t have a bedroom TV or laptop so always watch TV in the sitting room. I have a spare room that I use as an office.

Nereides · 01/05/2023 08:36

Sometimes on a weekend I just go to bed to be left alone. It’s my turn for a rest and if I’m in the room with DH and the kids I’ll end up parenting. Either the kids will hassle me or lazy DH will say “ask mum” when they want something. So I go out of their way in order to be left alone. I sit in bed and read or draw.

Fatandfunny · 01/05/2023 08:36

Nimbostratus100 · 01/05/2023 08:23

but as I said, you can only be in one room at a time, you dont need one room for day, and one for night, and leave each standing empty and unused half the time - it is a position of phenomenal privilege. It must be a tiny percent of the worlds people that are this rich

Um no, having a living room and a bedroom is a common phenomenon globally. Yes we have third world countries and poverty but it’s certainly not a tiny percentage or something unusual.

allisgood47 · 01/05/2023 08:37

aSofaNearYou · 01/05/2023 08:27

you can only be in one room at a time. You really dont need for that to be a one room in daylight hours and a different room at night.

Who are you to say that? I have found it profoundly negatively affects my mental health to spend all day in one room.

I don't have a second living room, I have one living room and one bedroom, I relax/work in the living room and work in the bedroom. Almost all houses are equipped with a living room and bedroom - how I am I displaying some kind of shocking display of waste by using both?

I'm confused. Is the poster saying we should all live in studio flats

OP posts:
AbreathofFrenchair · 01/05/2023 08:39

I have my reading chair at the end of our bed and will often spend a few hours a day in it reading. One of use might watch tv up here too if the other one wants to watch something different or is gaming. Kids have their own rooms and the spare room is a gaming room where they use their consoles and have a fairly big table for their other games (Dungeons and Dragons etc)

All the rooms in our house are well used though and by everyone

Fatandfunny · 01/05/2023 08:39

@Nimbostratus100 , do you live in a house share. It’s the term communal living room, and not seeming to know folks generally have living rooms and bedrooms, many habe home offices, many have spare rooms, even dining rooms..how can this be alien to you? What country do you live in?

Tumbleweed101 · 01/05/2023 08:53

My bedroom is fairly small- a small double bed takes most of the space. I can only fit a chest of draws in here (built in wardrobe). Therefore I only use the room for sleeping and dressing. Might occasionally come and read in the day but that’s about it.

I like having this as a quiet space. The children all have TVs in their rooms so they tend to hang out there. The living room tends to be my space, although shared when others are visiting, now they are older.

Magnoliainbloom · 01/05/2023 08:56

Despite having the most beautiful and calm lounge overlooking a park, I spend every opportunity I can in my bedroom - it’s such a comforting space. I wonder if this changes when I move to a new home soon.

Bluesheep8 · 01/05/2023 08:57

what a waste to have a whole room in the house never used except when you are asleep - you dont really need it in that case, do you?

Eh? Surely the clue is in its name - BEDroom? Why would not using it for anything other than sleeping mean it's not needed?. I don't do anything in mine other than sleep.

User165342 · 01/05/2023 09:01

I don't really spend time in the bedroom but DH does as that is where he watches his sport, at the moment it is snooker, after that it will be endless cycling. Fortunately he is quite happy up there but doesn't care about the decor as he is glued to the TV.

MaryJean87 · 01/05/2023 09:06

If I ever get childfree time, once I've done everything I need to do I will lie in bed. I don't relax properly downstairs for some reason. And a couple of times a week I like to have a really early night and I'll go to bed not long after the kids and read a book or watch TV in my bedroom.

Mephisneon · 01/05/2023 09:12

There seems to be some kind of bonkers value judgement attached to the replies here. As if you are superior if you don't use your bedroom during the day.

We don't have a TV in ours or any children but I use mine to relax or work. I like to sit after a bath or shower, go to bed early and play games on my phone, read or craft.

In terms of the op, if spending time in your bedroom isn't your lifestyle does it matter what others do? I'd say it to decorate it first if you don't use it.

Fatandfunny · 01/05/2023 09:16

Mephisneon · 01/05/2023 09:12

There seems to be some kind of bonkers value judgement attached to the replies here. As if you are superior if you don't use your bedroom during the day.

We don't have a TV in ours or any children but I use mine to relax or work. I like to sit after a bath or shower, go to bed early and play games on my phone, read or craft.

In terms of the op, if spending time in your bedroom isn't your lifestyle does it matter what others do? I'd say it to decorate it first if you don't use it.

I don’t really see that, I only see one poster being judgemental and telling us we are all wasteful and folks responding to that. You don’t need to be defensive about using your bedroom.

Mephisneon · 01/05/2023 09:23

Fatandfunny · 01/05/2023 09:16

I don’t really see that, I only see one poster being judgemental and telling us we are all wasteful and folks responding to that. You don’t need to be defensive about using your bedroom.

I mean all I can say is maybe you aren't great at understanding inferred meaning in comments. There's clearly lots of judgement pointing out judgement isn't defensive. Implying defensiveness is kinda judgemental though. Dose this lack of understanding of how people communicate normally cause you issues in your life? Feels like quite a gap in communication understanding.

Brunonononooo · 01/05/2023 09:25

I would say before we decorated our room (which was previously an absolute dump think no plaster on half the walls…) I just slept in there. But now we have sorted it out it’s my favourite room in the house and my husband and I love to just relax in there now! If you sort it so it is exactly what you want I expect you will want to be in there a lot more!

allisgood47 · 01/05/2023 09:27

Mephisneon · 01/05/2023 09:12

There seems to be some kind of bonkers value judgement attached to the replies here. As if you are superior if you don't use your bedroom during the day.

We don't have a TV in ours or any children but I use mine to relax or work. I like to sit after a bath or shower, go to bed early and play games on my phone, read or craft.

In terms of the op, if spending time in your bedroom isn't your lifestyle does it matter what others do? I'd say it to decorate it first if you don't use it.

My post was just general really . I just had not realised that people spend time in their bedrooms that's all.

Why would people be superior for not using their bedroom during the day. That's odd.

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 01/05/2023 09:28

I mean all I can say is maybe you aren't great at understanding inferred meaning in comments. There's clearly lots of judgement pointing out judgement isn't defensive. Implying defensiveness is kinda judgemental though. Dose this lack of understanding of how people communicate normally cause you issues in your life? Feels like quite a gap in communication understanding.

What an unnecessarily snarky and confrontational response. I agree with PP that the comments from people saying they don't spend time in their bedrooms are not judgmental. The vast majority are just stating their own habits.

mrsfeatherbottom · 01/05/2023 09:40

In the summer, I sit on the bed to read if it's too warm in the living room as the bedroom is at the front of the house and much cooler (bungalow).

meatbaseddessert · 01/05/2023 09:50

Nimbostratus100 · 30/04/2023 15:50

what a waste to have a whole room in the house never used except when you are asleep - you dont really need it in that case, do you?

I have my desk in mine, and work here, also watch TV on the laptop, read, etc

Where do you do those things?

Why is it a waste? There's a super king size bed in it and we spend 7 hours a day in it!
I have a seperate dressing room that is a wardrobe too so I don't even change in it.

I don't need to occasionally 'read a book in a nook' in there to make it worthwhile.

MenopauseSucks · 01/05/2023 09:53

Usually I just sleep & get dressed there however...

My room is one of the warmest places in the house so during the cold weather I would move up there for the afternoon before the heating came on...

It also gets the afternoon sun & the cat loves to slow roast herself on my bed.
Even on a chilly day, the sun will easily get the temperature up to 22-23c.
If it's a quiet day, I'll join her & we'll bask in the sun together!

CeriB82 · 01/05/2023 09:56

I spend a lot of time in My room watching tv.
my dh and kids are big football fans and watch a lot of matches on sky/bt.

so i leave them to it and go to watch my own thing (and not come on here to complain “oh dh watches too much sport” and inevitably some one will come along to tell them to pack a bag and leave)

YaWeeFurryBastard · 01/05/2023 10:10

This thread is hilarious 😂

I am clearly seriously uncouth as I have a king size bed, sofa and 50 inch wall mounted tv in mine 😂

I often chill in my bedroom as it’s a nice space even though shock horror we have two living rooms.