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Original poster

What are your first actions when your dh or dp goes away and you have the house to yourself for a while?

155 replies

Featheryash · 27/04/2023 08:45

I’ll start:

~ turn the setting on the toaster down
~ turn the heating down
~ open all the windows
~ remove all the wierd condiments cluttering up the kitchen counter and put them away properly
~ scrub the kitchen to within an inch of its life
~ clear all the wierd pots of things that he eats on toast out of the fridge and do a grocery order containing all the food I like
~ remove or wash all of his dirty laundry that lies alongside the laundry basket and either wash it or dump it elsewhere depending on how generous I’m feeling
~ steal his pillows 😄

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Farmgirl12 · 27/04/2023 19:59

Fresh bedding on 😍

Hedjwitch · 27/04/2023 20:01

Tidy up. Change the bed. Have a long bath with gin.
Then,something nice to eat and a decent bottle of wine. Maybe a little "me" time!

Original poster
Featheryash · 27/04/2023 20:04

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/04/2023 19:49

Hmmm. DP is clearly living a double life, @Featheryash

~ turn the setting on the toaster down up three clicks so it's toast and not slightly warmed bread
~ turn the heating down off
~ open all the windows Yup.
~ remove all the wierd condiments cluttering up the kitchen counter and put them away properly YES YES YES
~ scrub the kitchen to within an inch of its life YES
~ clear all the wierd pots of things that he eats on toast out of the fridge and do a grocery order containing all the food I like YES
~ remove or wash all of his dirty laundry that lies alongside the laundry basket and either wash it or dump it elsewhere depending on how generous I’m feeling I leave it to fester in the spare room whilst getting to wash mine so it's fluffy and scented instead of shrunken, crispy and probably turning grey
~ steal his pillows 😄 God, no. But I do change the pillowcases before they gain sentience on his side. And take MY pillows back.

😁😂Ha! That is quite freaky in its similarity NeverDropYourMooncup

Are you sure he’s not with you now? 🤣.

The toast thing is a red herring I reckon…

OP posts:
Notjustabrunette · 27/04/2023 20:07

I order a Chinese take away, dh doesn’t like it so it’s a bit of a treat. And watch a film of my choice. I also seem to get a lot of jobs done while he’s not here like de-cluttering and minor diy projects.
I actually quite fancy a Chinese and need to paint the kitchen so I might suggest he goes away for the weekend. And takes the kids.

LunaTheCat · 27/04/2023 20:08

I eat toast with smoked salmon and poached eggs for tea … he would think he was deprived if I gave him that
I sweep up all the clutter he leaves and put it in the right place
I clean the bathroom and it stays tidy
Watch all the lovely series I like - call the midwife

celticprincess · 27/04/2023 20:23

Featheryash · 27/04/2023 19:58

That is a rather confronting thought celticprincess 🤫 … I guess I’ll see how I feel after a week or so and if the novelty wears off or not …

… this was meant to be a light hearted thread but I must admit I am quite surprised by how many pp (including myself) clean parts of the house immediately after their dh has gone … which indicates that quite a few men appear to be a barrier to living in a clean and orderly environment … it’s definitely a problem in my marriage and getting worse!

Show quote history

My Ex’s house is no where as clean and tidy as mine however I can’t claim to live in a clutter free immaculately clean house either!! Lol.

Schabernacker · 27/04/2023 20:25

Divorced. The best things about this are:

I can have the heating off or on very low. Heating is something it's difficult to compromise on. I feel ill if it's more than about 14 degrees, but he liked it at 22.

I don't possess a TV, so nobody can switch it on.

No compromises when it comes to decorating or buying stuff for the house.

I can eat what I like, when I like (or not at all, if that's what I fancy).

I would not want to have to accommodate a man again.

Mamma2017 · 27/04/2023 21:30

Can someone please explain the “open all the windows?” A few people have said this- I don’t get it?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 27/04/2023 21:38

DH takes the kids away for a long weekend camping once a year. This is my time to spend how I want. I usually book the Friday afternoon and the Monday morning off work and they don't know 😂😈

I clean the house and do all the washing and change the beds friday afternoon and pop to aldi for what I want to eat that weekend.

Then I do whatever the fuck I like for three days 😁

It's the best weekend of the year.

33goingon64 · 27/04/2023 21:54

Mamma2017 · 27/04/2023 21:30

Can someone please explain the “open all the windows?” A few people have said this- I don’t get it?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

What's not to get? To air the house, I assume. My DH goes around closing windows when they're open, unless it's a really warm day, and I prefer some air coming in.

Eve · 27/04/2023 21:58

DH is away Mon / Tues nights , I change the sheets & pillows cases Monday night so have 2 nights of lovely crisp sheets all to me.

overthinkersanonnymus · 27/04/2023 21:59

My DP is out at the football tonight so I'm alone till about 12am

I've had dippy eggs for my tea, got in bed with a cup of tea and chocolate and I'm going to treat myself to a lady wank 😂😂

WeWereInParis · 27/04/2023 22:00

Order takeaway and eat it in bed while watching tv.

He wouldn't stop me doing this, he'd be more than happy to join in if he was at home, but it's not the same.

whoruntheworldgirls · 27/04/2023 22:07

Move my pillow to the middle of the bed (superking)
Watch shows on tv that he'd hate that i normally watch on my ipad
Have a takeaway one night as i can't be arsed to cook
Heating up a bit if winter

Mangone · 27/04/2023 22:08

Mine goes away working for four months at a time so I just potter around doing my own thing.

Seeleyboo · 27/04/2023 22:09

Make sure the house is spotless before he goes. Shower. Clean or new bedding. Curry amd wine. Cozy in bed with tv and curry hahaha

Groggygymdodger · 27/04/2023 22:13

Can’t get my head round the fact you or anyone else takes the opportunity to clean when their husband is away. Bloody hell. I clean when I wish, I don’t feel the need to do it when my husband is away and I behave exactly like I do any other time.

RhubarbFairy · 27/04/2023 22:13

Featheryash · 27/04/2023 19:41

Sorry that last post about my wierd dinner was in response to SeaToSki

Yes, DC away too if it helps RhubarbFairy! Love the idea of my music being played in every room 😀that sounds heavenly to me!

Sorry about the cat Knackeredandalsotired

You can link them all to 'Household' and then say 'Alexa play X on Household' and it'll sync them all perfectly.

I'm so glad to see so many other people eat random crap too. Just as well he's here most of the time, so I eat proper meals. I don't bother if he and the DC are away.

Groggygymdodger · 27/04/2023 22:15

Mamma2017 · 27/04/2023 21:30

Can someone please explain the “open all the windows?” A few people have said this- I don’t get it?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Me neither, and the cleaning. Like whoop I’ve free time, let me clean and air the house, as it’s so hard to do this wonderful stuff when he’s here.

Confused
Groggygymdodger · 27/04/2023 22:18

celticprincess · 27/04/2023 19:36

This is the plus side to being divorced. I do as I please all the times - well around the kids as well!!

I genuinely don’t get it. I do what I please all the time. My husband being here doesn’t stop me. How are people living. It’s so disturbing, we have two living rooms, I watch what I wish when I wish, I have a cleaner who cleans, if I didn’t my husband being here or not wouldn’t change a thing. We share 50/50. I eat what I wish when I please. If I wish to open a window I shall. I just don’t get it.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 27/04/2023 22:18

Mine goes away for work often, usually a week or two weeks at a time. I eat a lot of fish because he hates it so we never have it at home, and live in a very tidy house. I always really miss him, but that first night when I have M&S Gastropub fish and chips then the bed to myself is delightful! Unlike pp I do not let the cat free roam at night, because she is such a pest at 5am, but I get up and feed her at a more reasonable time in the morning, then we go back to bed together.

He’s off to Saudi on Saturday and I have the fridge already stocked. I’ve got no plans for Saturday or Sunday, then am meeting my gay best friend for tapas and wine and gossip on Monday.

HellonHeels · 27/04/2023 22:19

Binge eat.

Sleep in the middle of the bed

Watch policing and helicopter ER type tv programmes.

Nomad12 · 27/04/2023 22:19

Eat crisps in bed and watch trash TV

Groggygymdodger · 27/04/2023 22:20

And washing his clothes as he’s away, like it’s some form of rebellious act. Um, what?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 27/04/2023 22:21

Lie in the bed like a star.