Anyone in Germany care to chat?

[Brefugee]

I got a bit (lot) sick of all the German-bashing in that cake thread, some of it comes from just not knowing anything about the place, some of it is a kind of unwillingness to understand that things can be very different in other places.

There was a fair bit of niggling about how Brits might think German directness is rude - but as pp pointed out, Germans would think it rude if you walked into a waiting room at the Doctor's surgery without saying "morgen zusammen"

There was also German Cake Bashing (😂) at one point.

So. Anyone care just to have a long running thread for the expats/immigrants/Germans here who are in Germany, or from Germany and missing/not missing it, or are thinking of coming here?

I wouldn’t say strict parenting at all.

Here, kindergarten is all ‘ children are humans and should be treated so. Taking even youngest opinions into account etc’. They are taught to take turns and consider how another child might feel, but nobody has to share unless they are ready to.’

I have never heard a neighbour or friend raise voices at a child either. It’s all very calm

oh the bike on the tram!
I used to commute on a very heavily used double decker. And there was a chap one day, 6pm, trying to shove on it with his bike. Of the 2 rows of fold up seats i was on one with 2 other people, and on the opposite side were 2 asian students who immediately stood as he got on -but he started shouting at them to get out of his way and bike and shizzle.

So i showed him - because i have it saved - that he's not entitled to that space at that time, that they were already moving and that there was no issue that required his grumpiness. And he started shouting "it's the same every day i have problems with my bike and everyone" and a really ancient old lady just said "junger Mann, vielleicht liegt es an Ihnen und nicht an uns?"

And about 5 minutes later it came to a hilarious head as he was fined for not having paid for a bike ticket, and the ticket collector reminded him that bikes aren't allowed at those times. much fun. I miss those days.

Yes they absolutely will not entertain the idea of simply not letting my 2yo nap after lunch. "We offer all the children the option and if they take it, that's their choice!" and they act scandalised if you suggest waking him up, so he has a lovely nap for about 3 hours and then doesn't want to go to bed!

We are changing to another Kita soon with a different enough timetable I think it will solve itself, but really XD

I lived in Stuttgart too, for a few years. There were a few international supermarkets near me in Stuttgart-West where I could get random British things. And the English shop too.

My dad picks up every coin on the ground that he saw. I thought it was a bit weird, but he grew up in Heilbronn and now I completely understand why he did his. In fact, I do it too.

@BertieBotts - ours is great, but some things baffle me. The toilets there have 5 mini toddler height sinks. Ds uses toilet then insists on washing his hands in every single sink, so sink 1-2 ha has washed hands and ok, by sink 5 he’s soaking wet and needs new T-shirt. I suggested they just tell him he’s just to wash hands at one sink and finished but they can’t as ‘ it might stifle his creativity’.

Just sneaking in to placemark. I am not German but used to live in Germany and miss it. I remember the cake thread.

I once asked the kita to not let my DS sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon as he wasn’t sleeping well in the night, only yo hear ‘das ist gegen unser Konzept’

I wanted to ask them if me wrapping the car around a tree, due to exhaustion of years of night wake ups was part of their ‘Konzept’ but it was a public Kita, so I counted down until he got to go to Kindergarten!

!

Hahaa yes the multiple washing hands sounds just like them!! When we went to check out the new one the other day we found that the taps in the bathroom of this one are motion activated. DS3 age 2 who loves water was delighted. DS2 age 5 who is anxious about everything jumped half a mile.

I actually love it really I think it's a fantastic environment for children. DH managed to get DS3 to sleep by 8 tonight so win.

I am not German but thinking about applying for citizenship, which would be exciting!

One time I turned up to pick them up and he was asleep. I said "Can I just get him?" and they looked really worried and said "No... I'm not allowed... oh okay I'll open the door so that there are sounds and he might wake up."

They do now let me into the sleeping room to wake him up if he's the last one asleep, which he usually is.

our Kiga was pretty good - but it was all such a long time ago, and i know that i did fight with them about a few things.

@Ketzele good luck! i did it in 2019 in the end, but i decided to do it on 24th June 2016 (the day after the Brexit vote). When it came down to it, it felt very strange

DS went to a private kindergarten here and he loved to sleep. He used to nap for about 3 hours and I frequently had to go in and wake him up. He didn't have problems sleeping at night after, which is why that was never an issue.
What annoyed me was the idea that he had to be fed by a caregiver when he was in the under 3s. We had been doing BLW from 6 months before moving from the UK and he was quite capable of feeding himself (he was nearly 2 by the time we moved to Germany). They insisted on spoon feeding him and helping him with it. He didn't need any help and would have been fine if just left to it. It was like talking to a bloody wall. (His nursery in England had been amazing, though, which means we were a little spoilt.)

I've had almost the opposite experience in various German kindergartens (three children and a number of house moves) - most of them seemed to like the children to do stuff for themselves as early as feasible. They were sometimes quite cavalier about stuff - my youngest's Kiga stopped cutting up grapes for them when they hit the older age groups (5-6ish) and I had to (politely) go in with articles to explain why that wasn't the best idea. Safety definitely much more of a thing, though, since my older two's comparatively wild Kinderladen days in Berlin in the late 00s. With youngest we got very strict guidance on what sorts of scarves, coats etc were allowed. They even banned cords on wellies.

I think it depends where you live too. I live in a very rural area and they were very robust about a lot of things.

Guidelines about scarves, cords on things etc match up with the regulations on children's clothing. Ours was shit hot on that especially since a lot of the children had hand-me downs from much older siblings.

Yea our kindergarten is very independent. It’s Montessori though ( although still the local town one, not private).
They help as needed, but even not quite 2 year olds get glass jugs on table to pour own water, and nobody gets spoon fed.

Ours was based on "Pikler", which is meant to be like Montessori for babies or something. I'm still not quite sure. They felt the need to establish a relationship with him by having food with them on a 1-2-1 basis but then seemed to mostly just sit and ignore the kids.
It was a Montessori one from age 3, which was better.
Never had issues with clothing but they used to wrap them up in snowsuits all the time and were shocked to learn that DS hates all hats and scarves and would have happily run around in nothing but a nappy all summer long.
He still has a loathing for his "Matschhose", which he luckily doesn't have to wear anymore now that he's at school.