To feel jealous of Instagrammers lives!

[Redsed]

I've finally redecorating my awful living room and wanted some ideas. A friend suggested I look on Instagram for some ideas. I don't do social media at all and omg after a few days on it and scrolling on some home improvement accounts, I feel so low about my life!

The homes are beautiful, kitchen extensions are gorgeous, the women are beautiful, the husbands with great jobs, the kids look amazing. Then there's the lovely holidays, gifts, days out. It all looks so so perfect.

My life couldn't be more different. I feel so inadequate. I didn't expect to feel like this! Was just going on to get some paint / furniture ideas!

Please tell me I'm not the only one Luke this?!

This is why I don't follow or look at them OP.

This is why you should just look on Pinterest or a magazine. Delete the account.

It's fake! Same with the magazines. All staged.

Pinterest is good or mags because it takes the parasocial aspect out of it i.e. it's a pic of the room not a pic of the room plus immaculate woman/kids etc 😉

Also check out Ikea showroom

You are not one bit inadequate. Don’t compare your inside with other people’s outsides.
Think of it as house cat fishing. Go on Pinterest, delete Instagram, and live your life the way that feels right for you.
Fair enough you feel envious, I certainly have, but you are you, and that’s ok.

Their job into look glam for the gram. They're getting paid to do this.
If I was paid for having a spotless house and given the time and given stuff to do it for free, plus I'd get bonuses the more attractive it is, then I'd have a show home too!

Us normies have to do it for free around jobs, kids, other adults, life and other responsibilities.

Yes, just look at what people do when they sell their house
Allmofna.sudden there's fresh flowers and artfully placed throws on the sofa for the photos. And every viewing they cram all the crap in their car to hide it from buyers etc

Life is so much better when social media isn't involved. I'm more content with my life when I don't have a constant window into what everyobe else is doing.

How is it possible that a certain Candian influencer lives in Manchaster, and is always blessed, chill, nothing ever goes wrong, eating tons of junk food but looks really skinny? Endless Mukbangs... Breaks up with boyfriend but it was nobody's fault.

It's nothing full on, but there is something off constantly having this life and being blessed. I certainly try to be grateful but I do struggle at times.

Is that real? Am I doing something wrong?

I’m so much better since I deleted instagram. It’s all fake. You have no idea what’s going on behind the camera. Pinterest is much better for interior ideas, as it’s not connected to some narcissistic person

I don't see why it's better without really surely people must realise it's fake?

Social media can be great if people use it right, if it makes people feel bad that is on them

If you can use it and know not to take it too seriously, that's great.

But if not, better to just not use it. And definitely not follow influences! There whole job is to make others feel inferior!

But it’s all mostly pretend, staged and fake. So much of it is so cringe worthy. Truly, for the most part, people who truly have something close approaching these kind of lives (no one does 100%), families, jobs, holidays , homes etc, mostly never post about it all, on it on social media.

So much of what you see is fake. It’s a pretend reality for internet points

For genuine inspiration why don’t you look on Pinterest and Houzz, for example?

I generally don't follow the 10k+ followers accounts as it can be as described above, endless marble, fresh flowers and flawless homes.

I do have a renovation instagram account and follow similar accounts for solidarity and inspiration. If I had no followers I wouldn't be upset, the account was set up as an online diary of of the full reno we are doing. You can chose the hashtag that will give you the content you want.

It’s (mostly) all fake and staged! I have a smallish interiors account on Instagram, haven’t done much on it for a while but when I did I was literally taking photos of tiny squares of my house that were tidy/looked good after styling, and the rest of the house looked normal!

I love them. They are batshit. Who makes their bed in the morning and then puts a tray on the end with a vase of flowers and 3 lit candles! Hilarious

Yeah you don't see the whole truth.

Even Stacey Solomon posted something on her page the other day and the house looked lovely, but then you got a glimpse of the sole of her foot and it was filthy! She's often posted about the "real" life behind the scenes when everything looks perfect, but I thought that one dirty foot was a true sign that you can't believe everything you see.

Even the most perfectly instagrammable homes have dirty floors!

I have pangs of jealousy for some of these SM "gurus", but while I love the fact that they don't have a regular 9-5 job, they will have other stresses that they don't publicise very often.

Remember you're only seeing what people want you to see.

Make a home that you're comfortable in. I subscribe to the Ideal Home magazine and love looking at all the houses and decor. My home is decorated nicely but full of clutter and Ideal Home magazines, etc. I definitely can't make my home look like these perfect ones, but I do like to look!

A huge amount of it is staged.

Last spring we visited a National Trust property that has loads of bluebells in its grounds. We watched with amusement as a woman and two children rocked up for what I can only think was an Instagram photo shoot. The children were moaning and clearly didn't want to be there. Hair was brushed and they were directed where to stand/pose among the bluebells. They got told to stop moaning and look happy. In five minutes photos were taken and they were gone.

I have no doubt those pictures ended up on social media with some sort of narrative about an idyllic afternoon spent with nature. The truth was so different.

At best you're only seeing other people's highlights, and at worst (more likely on big accounts) you're seeing a staged fantasy.

For a lot of the mid sized to large accounts their job is to create content, they are the brand, and they make their money by creating a fantasy that people will aspire to. Underneath it all is the message "if you buy these things that I've been given/have been paid to post about, you can be just like me, look as good as me, have a kitchen like mine". It's bollocks.

I'm an instagrammer, albeit not a home content one and very much not perfectly curated content and I have to remind people all the time that even if they see 20 stories from me a day, that's a maximum 20 minutes of my day that they see.

Having been around influencers for a while now, all my inspiration for style and home comes from Pinterest, not instagram because it is very much not real life and seeing the real side of it has very much jaded me.

I could take a photo right now and put it on instagram. I'd be sipping a cup of coffee poured from a cafetiere, I have my laptop open and a pretty notebook next to it, there will be a couple of lovely plants in the background.

In front of me there is a clothes horse. On the floor behind me there are some toolboxes that have been there a couple of months. Underneath my chair there are two stains on the carpet, all surfaces are dusty and there are clumps of fur from our elderly molting cat. I also woke up late and gave the children a chocolate digestive each as breakfast club will sort out their breakfast for me.

It's all staged snapshots. How much of what is on these accounts is spontaneous? I follow some and yes, I do get a bit jealous as our house needs a lot of work. But also,who has time for all that! I don't want to spend my day arranging candles to take the perfect photo.

If you put the effort in, you could have pictures that could be an Instagram life.
They don't all have big kitchens but the pictures show nice clean kitchens with a few carefully placed props.

Nice clean table, bunch of flowers in a nice vase. Maybe some tea.
Living room with cream sofa, candles and some nice objects
Picture of the kids in the woods with the bluebells or somewhere else interesting.

You don't know what the house looks like most of the time.

These people put a lot of into staging.

Use it for inspiration by all means, but don't be deceived.

Thanks it makes me feel better that I'm not the only one!

The thing is I did say to myself that this is all fake. But then thought how can it be fake. I mean yeah you can take a photo of a tidy part of the kitchen with props etc but the rest of the lifestyle I mean that bit isn't fake is it though. The good jobs, the nice house, it's still nice even if it is messy, the holidays, the days out, you can't fake that.

Ugh. I wish I never went on the damn thing. I never understood about social media and mental health but bloody hell I've only been on it for a could of days!

If it helps, I live close to an influencer (around 25k followers). They state on there that they live in London (they don't), they live in a detached house (they don't), their kids are amazing musicians (they're not), that they don't own a tv (they do) and that they have a dog (they don't, they borrow one from another neighbour for photoshoots)
Get inspiration from their decor by all means but don't believe in the life they portray. Lots of it, if not most is fake. Just because they say they have a good job, well behaved kids etc. etc. they may not. I think influencers all need to be taken with a pinch of salt and you can see why people are becoming more cynical towards them.

What's nice about their house? Are you talking about the size or the way it's furnished?
How do you know they have good jobs? What's stopping you from getting a better job?
Anyone can go on a day trip.

Don't believe everything they say but if you want improvements in your own life then work towards that.
You've started on your living room so that's great. Bet you'll be able to take lots of nice pictures worthy of Instagram when it's done.

The good jobs, the nice house, it's still nice even if it is messy, the holidays, the days out, you can't fake that
It depends what you mean by good and nice though.

Personally I wouldn't want to open my home to the world for likes and wouldn't want to put my children and family on display like that to get things gifted, so I wouldn't say that earning money being an influencer is a good job for me.

If they've got good jobs doing other things as well as their socials then they're no different to many other people who've chosen a job they enjoy.

What makes their houses nice? Is square footage or the decor or the fact they can tidy part of it for the 'gram? You only see the house parts they want you to see and in a condition they want to show.

Days out can also be faked. You don't have to be an influencer to do that. I've spoken to people who've told us what a nightmare it was getting DC to the local winter wonderland event, but on social media it was all smiles for Santa and making memories.