To feel jealous of Instagrammers lives!

[Redsed]

I've finally redecorating my awful living room and wanted some ideas. A friend suggested I look on Instagram for some ideas. I don't do social media at all and omg after a few days on it and scrolling on some home improvement accounts, I feel so low about my life!

The homes are beautiful, kitchen extensions are gorgeous, the women are beautiful, the husbands with great jobs, the kids look amazing. Then there's the lovely holidays, gifts, days out. It all looks so so perfect.

My life couldn't be more different. I feel so inadequate. I didn't expect to feel like this! Was just going on to get some paint / furniture ideas!

Please tell me I'm not the only one Luke this?!

It's not right. Now whole videos of lies became trendy and acceptable. Parasites feigning Parasocial relationships.

Weirdly locally where I live there are quite a well known few influencers> Granted a couple of them have incredible houses but their DHs are the biggest twats you've ever come across (the women are actually quite lovely).

Another one who is really annoying on Insta is actually annoying IRL. Just an awful woman. Her house is lovely though ;)

I read an interview once by an influencer who said when you see pics of then and their kids in Xmas Pj's for a example in front of a tree and it all looks perfect its fake. They have been sent the pj's, there are professional lights set up and it all takes hours for just one great shot. Its not the real moments from their lives.
I honestly think, the same with airbushed photos, they should have to put a disclaimer on stating its staged but obviously they would not want to do that.
This is why I do not have an instagram account.

Because a spotless home (or whatever) becomes common place and the "new normal" subconsciously in your mind. if you're seeing perfect houses 20 times a day, or whatever, it will condition you to star thinking this is how it 'should' be - confirmation bias/herd mentality and all that... if you see other kids all on scooters, and everywhere you look, it seems like more kids are getting scooters, and your friends are talking about their kids scooters and how it makes life easier ... you might start think your child needs a scooter.

where as if you moved/looked elsewhere - you'd find a whole area where kids don't have scooters at all, and that is the norm.

BUt you can fake the days out to an extent...

IG crew will say "#Blessed to have such a loving family - just enjoying #GettingBackToNature - at our local woods #family #love" and post with a beautiful picture of the kids frolicking through the woods.

But you aren't posting the images of you traipsing to the car, kids moaning, the litter someone left by the bin, the kids arguing in the back of the car, the kids hitting each other with sticks and crying...

You do the same thing with your own photos of holidays = no-one is sharing the photos of you all utterly exhausted at 3am in an airport because the flight was delayed, and one of the kids was in hysterics because they hadn't slept in 16 hours - nope, you're sharing the picture of the kids splashing in the sea and grinning over a massive icecream .

https://cafemom.com/parenting/214146-moms-instagram-vs-reality-house Look here for examples - a couple of photos too.

Look at it this way - people aren't going to gleefully share the shit parts of their lives on their Instagram influencers accounts, are they?

No - they only show you what they want you to believe their lives are like. All the crap stuff gets left out.

I don’t engage with any of this culture. ‘Influencers’ have no influence on me because I’m not interested in their fashion or their home styling or whatever else they post about. I like real people in real life. I also like chatting on forums like MN and Twitter about politics, family life etc. But scrolling though photos of strangers’ lives holds no interest for me.

A lot of these people make a living (or at least some pocket money) out of their social media presence, so of course the photos portray a ‘perfect’ life. None of those people has a perfect life. Not one of them. They might look great, but most are adept at photography and photo editing, using filters etc. And even if it’s not filtered and they really do look amazing and have a beautiful home, well good for them. But it doesn’t affect my life in any way. I will never be beautiful or rich or have an immaculate home. But there are people in my life who love me, just exactly as I am. And there are friends who will come to my home and eat whatever amateur feast I can create, and put the world to rights with me. That’s what matters to me.

Ugh I know the feeling. I'm happy-ish with my home but I still get pangs of jealousy when I look through those kinds of pages. It's the immaculate finish of everything I covet but find impossible to achieve. I've tried hiring painters/decorators from recommendations and it's still never as polished as I'd want. I don't know how you find people who can finish so beautifully unless you go to the top companies. I've come to the conclusion that either I've been very unlucky with tradesmen or that it requires a lot more money than I'm willing to spend to achieve that sort of look.

I used to follow a fair few influencers on Instagram and I always ended up feeling so crap about my life. So I unfollowed them all, and now I hardly go onto Instagram because it’s only a few pics posted by my actual friends or local cafes! It’s helped my self esteem no end. Delete it!

Take a look through RightMove, not mansions, but normal big standard homes, you’ll soon see that 95% people are not living with anything like perfect on trend homes!

Also, agree most of it is fake, or they’re slightly strange. There’s one influencer who I can’t stop watching but was groomed by a 23/24 year old helper on a school trip at 13 and has stuck with him 🤢

I don't have Instagram and this is one of the reasons why. Just want to add that I love somewhere pretty 'instagramable' and see people taking photos / having them taken by Instagram husband etc. for their grid - all poses, looking like they're on top of the world - then as soon as that camera is not pointing at them they look miserable as sin.

It's all smoke and mirrors.

When I take a snoop just out of interest it can make me feel crap but then I remember I've got where I am and have what I have from hard work and don't have to be a slave to whatever company that's giving free crap away for a post.

You might as well feel jealous of the family on the front of a magazine. There’s no point comparing your real life to a staged and professionally retouched photo sold for a profit. That would be ridiculous. Not meaning to be sharp, but maybe start volunteering or engaging with the community. You’ll soon see that you’re in a much better position than many others.

Have you tried packing up all belongings in boxes, hiding them in the hallway, taking photos (using a professional camera and lighting ring) on the day of the decorations, then touching those photos up afterwards? I imagine that helps a lot.

Imagine the stress of the hour before whilst they clear up all the shit (it's all piled up in the spare bedroom next door)

Imagine the hundred other shots which look crap.

It's. All. Made. Up. To. Sell. You. Shit.

You can't see the tiny details on photos. Also when you go to other people's homes for an hour along visit do you think wow what a beautiful kitchen, oh my god they're bathrooms amazing. But you don't notice the wobbly draw handles all the slightly dented kitchen cabinet.

I know an 'influencer' who blogs and posts about her 'amazing life' and dishes out advice on how to follow her 'lifestyle' - think country-chic, beach-life etc. The reality of her life is completely different. She holds down several shitty low-paid jobs to pay the bills and keep the pretence up. She is constantly stressed and swearing at her poor kids and husband (loudly and in public for minor reasons) and is always chain-vaping and several drinks down whenever I see her. The blog and social media is just another job to earn money - it is completely fake.

Read tattle , a lot of influencers are fake. The more clicks the more money they make. They are selling you a aspirational lifestyle but it's staged for pictures their job is to make you jealous.

Well by watching it you are funding ut

Once you understand it, it's easier not to get down about it.

1. It's staged
2. It's staged
3. It's staged

These aren't candid shots. They're curated, considered. They have sponsored products and photographs. They study alogarithms, buy designer clothes, photograph them and send them back. They understand how to pose for pictures. It's their job.

I have one instagrammer near me, and if you look closely, she only photographs three rooms of her house. Kitchen, living room, and a shower room. The rest of her house is not for show.

Really?

Wow

I think all the usual house/life/kid mess has been pushed into the corner out the room of shot before they take those photos and then it's all messy again 5 mins later.

It's one carefully curated minute out of 24 hours with kids. It's not a snapshot of real life.

I only look at it for comedy accounts and one 'mum' account who's strap line is 'Let me show you around my messy house so you can feel better about yours'.

I dont know why people always insist these things are fake tbh. A close family member is quite popular on insta (not extremely famous, but around 50k followers). She cant live from it, but its a nice little side income while she sits on her butt doing nothing 😉
Thats not quite true though, its so much work! And everything always has to be filmed.
I remember it so vividly on her last birthday when we brought out the cake and sang for her all of a sudden she got hysterical and just started screaming “video!! Somebody take a video! Video now!!” We were all so surprised and she was so upset we had to put new candles out and start over 😄

Definitely wouldnt be for me. But she lives exactly the life she presents on her insta.

There's always going to be people who have more stuff than you, are prettier, richer, have more interesting jobs and more talent. That's just life. How can you make your own life better so you're not bothered by what other people have?