Bad Restaurant Review - WWYD?

[foodcritic]

NC for this on the off chance someone works out who we are and decides to do someone similar...

We have a small independent restaurant, been established over 10 years, lots of lovely regular customers, and always grateful for new customers. Many of these come due to our good reviews on various sites such as TripAdvisor, Google, etc. Also we do a fair bit (probably weekly) on local community Facebook pages which also attracts new people and reminds existing customers of what we are doing by way of Chef Specials etc.

Last week a Google review went on with 2 stars - and a comment along the lines of 'sad to see xxxxx on the menu'. (xxxx being a dish that some people find unacceptable, others specifically come to our restaurant to eat as it's difficult to find in supermarkets or other restaurants)

There is a name so I know exactly who has written this, and she's a local person who has never eaten at our restaurant. She has on occasion also used a crying emoji when she sees posts for certain dishes on Facebook that i have posted. (Suspect she's not a meat eater)

So - I have responded to the review with a similarly short comment, basically saying how disappointing someone has given a review based not on eating in the restaurant and experiencing our food/service, but based on a specific menu item.

Reviews are so important to small businesses, we can't afford massive advertising campaigns, and although this one hasn't really put a dent in our overall rating it's so frustrating. But I'm now wondering if I shouldn't have responded as I've made us look as petty as her. What would you have done?

If I did anything in RL, I’d be met with the same ignorance as the people on here.

so before you watched that TV clip that you referred to as being your moment of epiphany - had you no idea whatsoever what was going on?

Sorry if this has been mentioned but contact Tripadvisor. You are not allowed leave reviews like that. They should remove it.

Sorry I see it’s google but the same applies.

@foodcritic - bless you, I see your thread about how to deal with a review of your business has been hijacked by a vegan fanaticist! You might just want to have it deleted. Good luck with your business!

I totally agree , and instead of actually answering the question this has turned into some kind of rostrum for people to preach at others 🙄🙄 What they can’t seem to see is how much damage their preaching does to their cause .

How much damage raising awareness does by making people aware of what goes on behind closed doors in the meat industry?
If this thread was about child slave labour or women’s right and I used emotive language in my posts, nobody would bat an eyelid but because I’m talking about peoples food choices which directly affect them, they take offence and get defensive.
Defensiveness is most often a response to criticism. When a person tries to defend themselves from feeling angry, hurt, or ashamed when they perceive the other person as critical.

I'm finding it interesting. I'm not vegan but I've long felt that I should be. I don't necessarily agree with everything Coffeeandcake15 says or how she expresses it, but rather than damaging her cause, I'm finding her a lot more engaging to read than a load of people trying to catch her out and then just trying to turn the discussion into a joke rather than explain why she's wrong. The people attacking her are coming across to me as incredibly defensive and their motives are hardly nobler than hers.

I think anyone militant is truly off putting…and coffeeandcake15 just rages at people. Those trying to catch out are equally as bad…
this was a thread asking whether someone should have answered a review, not whether people should eat meat . I think there is ignorance from both sides of the argument here with neither seeing the others point of view. Dictating is no form of trying to prrsuade and it’s well known that too much emotive language, as coffeandcakeuses, has the total opposite effect .

No one has explained their point of view in regards to eating meat.

If someone found out that in a particular country humans were forcibly removing newborn babies from their mothers after birth, if mothers were forced to feed their babies in tiny crates without being able to move around to feed them comfortably, were violated for reproduction reasons etc, can you imagine the outrage?

So why are we so accepting that this happens to animals every day on a large scale, is it just because they’re animals? Its called cognitive dissonance.

I don't see her as raging. I do see a number of people trying to provoke her.

is it just because they’re animals?

yes

@Coffeeandcake15 that's rubbish that you've not been given an answer.
I did answer you, and yes it's because they are 'just' animals - I use the 'just' in quotes because you might find this hard to believe but I'm an animal lover. You may call it cognitive dissonance, but as I explained I see a distinct difference between animals and humans. I know they have to be killed for our consumption and that sits ok with me. I'm happy with my decision like I'm happy for you to arrive at a different conclusion, and I have no ill will towards you for that.

If it was foie gras I would be grateful to be alerted. It would be a big turnoff for me that the restaurant owners would serve this and I wouldn't want to support them in any way.

You can't be an animal lover and eat animals. That is a basic example of cognitive dissonance.

I don't have cognitive dissonance. I don't love animals and I believe animals are food. I don't believe we should deliberately breed animals to keep as pets. I don't believe that there's such a thing as humane slaughter and I don't much think there's a difference between factory farming and so called "high welfare" meat.

Yes I can slaughter my own meat. I don't believe we should inflict deliberate harm on animals prior to killing them, but have no issues with rearing animals for the purposes of killing and ingesting.

That's interesting. I'm not vegan and don't think I ever would or should be. But I'm interested in cooking and now really interested in saving money.

A friend who is a very good cook and also vegan, talks about her recipes in a more: "This is what I did with seitan" rather than a "you raped a cow and murdered her baby" kind of way.

I find her approach more persuasive.

Therefore, tonight I am doing pasta alla norma. https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/pasta-alla-norma It's lovely. It's not vegan because it uses cheese (I'm using pecorino instead of ricotta salata because I can't get ricotta salata) but you can make it vegetarian by using non-rennet cheese without hunting around too much. I've tried vegan cheese and I don't like it. But I wouldn't say anything inflammatory to put people off eating it if they wanted to.

A tip: you can vastly cut down on the calories and general oiliness by brushing the slices of aubergine in oil and baking or grilling them. I thought I hated aubergines because they were always too oily when I made them. I just wasn't doing them right, but people with more competence than me can fry them magnificently.

Tomorrow we will be eating this.https://www.theguardian.com/food/2022/jun/25/vegan-matar-tofu-pea-cashew-tofu-curry-recipe-meera-sodha I came to it because I love this but I'm trying to lose weight and have sworn off paneer, I mentioned it to my vegan friend and she said: "She is such a good cook". No judgement on me even when I said I was going to use pistachios because I didn't have cashews. She said it would work and it did. Meera's recipes are really worth following btw. She just cooks.

A friend who is a very good cook and also vegan, talks about her recipes in a more: "This is what I did with seitan" rather than a "you raped a cow and murdered her baby" kind of way.

I'm assuming you don't have these conversations with her via a public and anonymous forum with lots of people trying to provoke her. With the topic being the ethics of meat.

So because they’re animals they’re not given the same rights?
It sounds a bit like Black Rights, that was abolished through mass protesting because people realised it was wrong to segregate and discriminate based on the colour of their skin and that they should be treated as equals.

Animals experience emotions, they have cognitive ability (granted reduced), they show empathy, have a nervous system so have the ability to feel pain, surely we should afford them compassion to.

yawn.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but I realise that neither flies nor honey is vegan but vinegar is.

"Be kind."

Ok you answered but it was quite basic but it would have been good to have a slightly more in-depth discussion. I understand you may not have wanted to though and that’s fine.

Admittedly, it would have been good to see some more intellectual discussions but the comments have mostly consisted of personal attacks, defensiveness, posters saying that they are eating meat for dinner in the hope of offending me, (telling me you’re having meat for dinner and now want to eat it more doesn’t bother me, I just think it’s childish), I’ve even been likened to a nobody and a benefits scrounger, called a nutter, called an extremist for highlighting what farm animals endure, I’m sure there’s more to add to the list.

Again, I truly believe if my posts were about a different cause (women’s rights etc), I very much doubt people would have opposed and objected to the language used whilst discussing the topic.

So using the exact words to describe what farm animals endure should be censored incase it offends people?
If a woman’s been murdered, we use the word murder, why can it not be used when an animal is killed?

She's not on Mumsnet but she is on Twitter, which I believe can be fiercer.

Anyway, what do you think of my recipes and recommendations for meat-free meals? Are you going to try them? I like them and my friend has directed me towards other non-animal product alternatives which can only be good from all perspectives.

It would be great if this thread turned into something where we all contributed our favourite vegan or vegetarian recipes rather than negative sniping. Like you, I am a meat eater but I have loads I can share and eat vegetarian and vegan meals at least twice a week.

But it's not a competition, so you go first and maybe @Coffeeandcake15 can go second. That would be constructive. I'm sure I won't be the only one who collects all the recipes.

I think peace, love and understanding is the way forward rather than getting people's backs up by telling them they are raping and murdering animals while not presenting an alternative.

Yes, I might try them, although I've gone off aubergine a bit lately.

But I should say, I'm not a meat eater. I'm not vegan either, so I'm aware there is still cruelty involved in my food choices and I'm not pleased about that. But I don't go on the attack when someone talks about it.