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Original poster

Is this idea ridiculous?

77 replies

PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 16:18

I'm going away to an event with a group. 7 people, two couples, two women, one man. We've had our hotels booked for ages and availability is now non existent because of the event.

The couples each have a room, I'm sharing with the other woman and single man has booked a single room (is apparently also a dreadful snorer, this may be relevant).

Another friend who would have liked to come but had a work commitment is now available. He's a married man, often comes to these things with us. His wife is lovely and they have lots of trips together, but she doesn't enjoy these trips so doesn't come.

So, the room I'm occupying with female friend has been booked as a twin. It has a double bed, plus a single.

Would it be really stupid to offer that we women share the double and the man can bunk in with us?

I wouldn't offer if it was just me, out of respect for his wife, but if he's sharing with both of us? He hasn't asked but I know he'd like to come.

OP posts:
Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 16:19

I mean he hasn't asked to share, he has expressed an interest in coming if he can sort accomodation.

OP posts:
Aylestone · 17/04/2023 16:20

I’d check your friend is ok with it, but I don’t see an issue if everyone’s happy

ShandyQuaffer · 17/04/2023 16:23

Definitely run it past your friend first.

FlounderingFruitcake · 17/04/2023 16:24

I’d check with the other woman that she’d definitely be ok to share with him first and make it really clear that she can refuses with no hard feelings - sorry if you’ve already done this! Then presuming that’s all ok then why not? It’s between him and his wife as to what they’re ok with so second guessing her feelings would be a silly reason not to offer providing everyone else is definitely ok with it.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/04/2023 16:25

I certainly hope you'd be asking the other woman first, and I hope she wouldn't feel pressured to say yes.

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 16:27

Yes, of course I'll check with friend first. I think she'll be fine with it, but I also know for sure she wouldn't hold back in telling me if she didn't like the idea!

OP posts:
Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:30

I’m confused
3 women
1 man

but you’re saying 2 women and one man in one room?

Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:31

Oh sorry I see

Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:32

No i wouldn’t offer
most bizarre
do you get the impression he’s enduring financial hardship in any way?!

Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:32

What is it. One night? 2? He’s a big boy, I think he’ll be ok on his own

2PintsOfCidernaBagofCrisps · 17/04/2023 16:39

Why are you organising this for him? He's a grown man; let him make his own arrangements. If its fully booked, its his loss for being late to the party. I feel that women naturally gravitate into 'problem solving mode' for things like this whereas, if the tables were turned, I don't imagine he'd be so keen to dive into asking friends to share beds and post on forums asking advice.

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 16:40

Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:32

What is it. One night? 2? He’s a big boy, I think he’ll be ok on his own

He doesn't have a room at all currently. This is an additional man, an 8th person, who originally couldn't come but whose work commitments have changed.

OP posts:
WeeOrcadian · 17/04/2023 16:40

How do you know it sleeps three? You've booked a twin - that's two singles. I've never been told on advance how many beds we're getting in the room, unless we've booked a family room (family - not twin)

Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:47

PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 16:40

He doesn't have a room at all currently. This is an additional man, an 8th person, who originally couldn't come but whose work commitments have changed.

Show quote history

So he hasn’t booked.
But has said he wants to come
what is he waiting for?

Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:48

Seriously
if he can’t afford single supplement, he can either not go or ask you
but seriously op - you are taking on the mental load of another’s woman’s husband
Most peculiar

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 16:48

Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:47

So he hasn’t booked.
But has said he wants to come
what is he waiting for?

Show quote history

I'm sure I explained in OP. You can't get a room in the area because of the event we're going to.

OP posts:
Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:49

Ok
so let him ask you
if he really wants to go he will suggest to you or Kip with the snorer 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 16:49

WeeOrcadian · 17/04/2023 16:40

How do you know it sleeps three? You've booked a twin - that's two singles. I've never been told on advance how many beds we're getting in the room, unless we've booked a family room (family - not twin)

I don't know what's normal, but this room description definitely says one double and one single per room.

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 17/04/2023 16:50

If there are no more rooms then he misses out. Even if you, your friend and the man doesn't mind, then perhaps his wife might but dare not say anything.

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 16:50

Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:49

Ok
so let him ask you
if he really wants to go he will suggest to you or Kip with the snorer 🤷‍♀️

Snorer has a single room.

I just thought it might be a nice offer. I'd definitely make it if he was female, how is that taking on anyone's mental load? It's exactly no extra work for me and actually , he'll probably offer to drive if he's able to come, so win win.

OP posts:
Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:52

But he’s not female

so leave it

let him ask

but seriously don’t give this another though

glitterisntgendered · 17/04/2023 16:54

No point asking us, ask your friend first. I personally wouldn't want to even share a double bed with a female friend never mind a room with a man I'm not intimate with

overitunderit · 17/04/2023 16:54

It's weird. I wouldn't offer. I wouldn't want my husband sharing a room with two other women even if I knew it was innocent. Just too weirdly intimate and it would also potentially ruin the vibe with your female friend. You'd all have to get changed in the bathroom one by one etc. definitely don't offer.

mephi · 17/04/2023 16:56

Check this one doesn't snore himself before even thinking about it! Personally I think it would be a bit wierd and I wouldn't want to do it if I was the other woman in your shared room.

Sandysandwich · 17/04/2023 16:59

Wouldn't bother me, I've done similar in the past, it sounds like a sensible way of him being able to join.
As long as you check with your friend then offer it to him it sounds fine- he can always decline if he or his wife are not fine with it.
He could always sleep on the floor with the snorer - but that seems unnecessary when there is a bed space available