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Original poster

Is this idea ridiculous?

77 replies

PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 16:18

I'm going away to an event with a group. 7 people, two couples, two women, one man. We've had our hotels booked for ages and availability is now non existent because of the event.

The couples each have a room, I'm sharing with the other woman and single man has booked a single room (is apparently also a dreadful snorer, this may be relevant).

Another friend who would have liked to come but had a work commitment is now available. He's a married man, often comes to these things with us. His wife is lovely and they have lots of trips together, but she doesn't enjoy these trips so doesn't come.

So, the room I'm occupying with female friend has been booked as a twin. It has a double bed, plus a single.

Would it be really stupid to offer that we women share the double and the man can bunk in with us?

I wouldn't offer if it was just me, out of respect for his wife, but if he's sharing with both of us? He hasn't asked but I know he'd like to come.

OP posts:
WateryDoom · 17/04/2023 17:00

I'd loathe the idea if I was your friend. I don't want to share a double bed with someone and I'd hate the idea of a bloke in there as well. There's a real lack of privacy. I'd have done it in my teens, but not since.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/04/2023 17:01

WateryDoom · 17/04/2023 17:00

I'd loathe the idea if I was your friend. I don't want to share a double bed with someone and I'd hate the idea of a bloke in there as well. There's a real lack of privacy. I'd have done it in my teens, but not since.

Me too. I'd be annoyed just being asked, honestly.

LeroyJenkinssss · 17/04/2023 17:04

Honestly I’d say no. Sharing with another woman is one thing but I’d not share with a man under any circumstances.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 17/04/2023 17:05

It's not just the bed situation, what about the en suite( assuming it has one)

zurala · 17/04/2023 17:05

I also would be annoyed to be asked. Of course I don't want to share with a man! Don't even ask or offer, he can sort himself out.

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 17:23

I guess we're all different, but friend definitely won't mind being asked. We've booked another trip this weekend where we'll share a double because that's all we could get and if I don't go she's happy to share with a man she's not in a relationship with.

We're a nice relaxed group and always have a good time without drama. Happy to help each other where we can.

I was more concerned that it will seem odd to him/ his wife

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 17/04/2023 17:26

Does the double and single allow three adults?

premier inn, for example, have that set up buy don’t actually allow three adults (you can generally sneak a third in, but they don’t openly allow it)

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 17:28

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 17/04/2023 17:26

Does the double and single allow three adults?

premier inn, for example, have that set up buy don’t actually allow three adults (you can generally sneak a third in, but they don’t openly allow it)

Probably not officially no, but as we'll be in a group it will be easy enough to hide

OP posts:
Radi0noise · 17/04/2023 17:30

Mumsnet is weird about men. You're all friends. It's fine. I think you're kind to offer and if you're friend is fine too then great

Radi0noise · 17/04/2023 17:31

Some people don't have male friends. Our friendship group is a mix and we'd all be fine with it

caringcarer · 17/04/2023 17:33

I can see you are just being nice OP. I wouldn't mind if I was the other woman you are sharing with, provided he wasn't a loud snorer. If you are all friends it would be a shame for him to miss out.

DryIce · 17/04/2023 17:37

I think it's fine, and a nice thing for you to offer. Obvs as long as your sharing friend is OK with it.

I would also be ok if my husband was the man in question. However if his wife is not, surely

DryIce · 17/04/2023 17:38

Sorry sent too early

Surely she and he can have a conversation beforehand before he accepts/declines?

Sabretoothedgerbil · 17/04/2023 17:46

I can’t see anything wrong with offering if you, your friend, his wife and he is ok with it. Alternatively ask the hotel if the other guy’s single room can accommodate another bed?

merryhouse · 17/04/2023 17:49

Could you ask one of the couples to split up, her in with you two and him in with extra man?

thenightsky · 17/04/2023 17:59

merryhouse · 17/04/2023 17:49

Could you ask one of the couples to split up, her in with you two and him in with extra man?

I think that would be a far better solution.

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 18:02

thenightsky · 17/04/2023 17:59

I think that would be a far better solution.

Show quote history

Why? Just asking, but my original thought disrupts no one.

OP posts:
FurAndFeathers · 17/04/2023 18:03

Cleoforever · 17/04/2023 16:47

So he hasn’t booked.
But has said he wants to come
what is he waiting for?

Show quote history

why don’t you read the OP again @Cleoforever rather than vlogging the thread with questions the OP has already answered?

FurAndFeathers · 17/04/2023 18:04

Radi0noise · 17/04/2023 17:30

Mumsnet is weird about men. You're all friends. It's fine. I think you're kind to offer and if you're friend is fine too then great

This

BonnieGlasses · 17/04/2023 18:11

I'm in the don't offer, that's weird camp.

Out of curiosity, how old are you all? I've a feeling that younger people (20s/early 30s) would be more likely to think this is OK than older people (40s plus) but that might just be my prejudices!

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 18:14

BonnieGlasses · 17/04/2023 18:11

I'm in the don't offer, that's weird camp.

Out of curiosity, how old are you all? I've a feeling that younger people (20s/early 30s) would be more likely to think this is OK than older people (40s plus) but that might just be my prejudices!

Interesting. We're all mid to late 50s. I feel entering a second youth though with DC grown and gone and now having adventures we'd have probably balked at in our late 30s and 40s.

OP posts:
Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 18:25

PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 18:14

Interesting. We're all mid to late 50s. I feel entering a second youth though with DC grown and gone and now having adventures we'd have probably balked at in our late 30s and 40s.

Show quote history

Maybe we've all reached that really don't care stage. It's very liberating.

OP posts:
JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 17/04/2023 18:53

I wouldn't want to share a double bed with a female friend and definitely wouldn't want a man in the room either. Not sure why you're asking on here if your friendship group doesn't think this is odd? I personally think it's bonkers.

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 17/04/2023 18:58

It's not fucking liberating when you're starting a thread because you need people to tell you if it's weird or not.

If you were all so cool and relaxed then it wouldn't even be a thing, I've shared rooms with blokes I'm not married to and double beds with mates but never ones I didn't know well enough in the first place that I'd have to ask strangers on the internet about it.

Original poster
PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 19:01

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 17/04/2023 18:53

I wouldn't want to share a double bed with a female friend and definitely wouldn't want a man in the room either. Not sure why you're asking on here if your friendship group doesn't think this is odd? I personally think it's bonkers.

It would be usual for friend and I to share. It would be usual for either of us to share with a single man on a platonic basis. It's not usual for this married man to share with women. He will usually either share with a man or book a room for himself, but that's not possible this time because of the late change of plan.

It's a couple if nights. I'm as surprised at the strength of feeling against the very idea of sharing (either the bed with a woman or the rol with a man). It will be a fun weekend. We'll spend hardly any time in the rooms. What is there to hate so much?

My only concern was that he/his wife might find it odd, just because I know he wouldn't share with one woman.

OP posts: