MIL has been here for a week. She is fundamentally nice but she cannot stop herself from a cavalcade of criticisms of my house e.g. you need a cleaner, this garden is completely overgrown, you’ve ruined that child and so on. She seems to have no filter in this area. For context, she's a very impulsive person e.g. grabbing and squeezing things in shops when you’re not meant to touch them, commenting rudely and loudly about people nearby, bursts of intense housework. I think if she was born more recently she might get an ADHD diagnosis.
This morning I sat down to eat my breakfast and she said. “This drawer is a total mess,” to which I replied, “can you criticise my house when I’ve finished my breakfast, I’d just like to sit down and eat first.” (my first actual response to her rudeness this week - normally I just say something non-commital). She was a bit shocked and repeated back to me what I’d said.
In the past, she has been a lot more cutting and I’ve not been unable to withstand it, meaning we’ve had periods of semi estrangement. Now, she’s in her late 80s and I’m keen not to upset her regardless of how she speaks to me, I think, on balance it’s best not to challenge someone of that age unless really necessary. Anyway, any tips on assertive but kind retorts, gratefully received.