Tell me about your summer born children and starting school

[IAmTheWalrus85]

I’ve got a late summer born boy who’ll be starting school in September when he’s just turned 4.

I feel really nervous about it. He just isn’t as developed as many of his older friends. Even 6 months seems to make a huge amount of difference from a developmental point of view at this age.

He’s toilet trained but he still has the odd accident if he gets absorbed in what he’s doing and he isn’t reminded to go to the loo. He still needs help with wiping (he can do it himself but not very well). I’m assuming reception teachers won’t be able to help with anything related to going to the loo.

He can put his own coat and shoes on but sometimes gets the shoes on the wrong feet. He still needs help with getting dressed (doing up on trouser buttons etc). I assume teachers can’t help them with getting changed for activities etc.

I suppose I’m just looking for stories of summer borns who’ve started reception with their chronological age group and how they’ve got on for some idea of what to expect and any tips for what I can do to help with the transition.

Thank you in advance!

Back when mine started you couldn't hold them back a year. I could have kept him out but he'd have had to start in y1. If I could have delayed it a year and still have him start in reception i would have. More than any other aspect he still (now a teen) is socially and emotionally behind his peers. Doesn't cope well with social media, struggles to pitch friendships correctly. He's not doing great academically either. However, you will get replies from people it's not an issue and their summer borns were the top dogs in their class. It's really all about the individual child.

Get a large sticker, I use a circle and cut it in half and put half in each shoe and make them match it back up to make sure they put their shoes on their right feet.

If there a particular reason you aren’t waiting and sending him to school next September. The statistics are very clear that even at GCSE level the average child wouldn’t have ‘caught up’ with their peers.

I'd hold him back if you can. Wish I'd done so with my summer born.

The main reason is that we can’t comfortably afford another year of nursery fees.

The other (less important) reasons are that he’s large for his age so he’ll be a giant if he’s in the year below and that he has a good group of friends at nursery who are all going up to school and I think he’ll find it quite upsetting if they all move on without him.

Oh I believe you - it is about the individual child but equally the research on the subject is clear. I’m sorry your son is struggling. It’s such an unsatisfactory system ☹️

I've a July child who is now in year 3. I didn't even contemplate holding him back he'd just have missed year R and gone into year 1 around here.

But even with mum school during covid he's where he's meant to be compared to expectations and there's no question of him being young and it affecting him.

I had faith in his abilities and his year R teachers and whilst he wasn't there all year they were fantastic. He only was out of nappies about 6 months before starting school as well and still can't wipe at nearly 8 😬

Our school has adopted a wear your pe kit to school on pe days so no more faffing with getting dressed for the youngsters and shoes are velcro and you have 6 months to practice putting them on the right feet.

Don't doubt your child as they will be a superstar. Maybe you are potentially feeling like you can't let go?

My summer born has been fine! She struggled a bit with reading in the beginning, but socially was 110% ready, and by the start of Y1 it all clicked into place. You have 5 months to work on toileting, that’s ages, so
don’t worry! And unless you’ve chosen a private school with formal uniform requirements and/or their own swimming pool then I think it’s quite unlikely he’ll be doing many/any changes of clothes. When it’s PE they usually come in dressed in their sports kit and stay in it all day. Plus he’ll have his nursery friends start with him which is lovely. I wouldn’t worry.

At this stage mine was barely taking himself to the toilet however in the next few months he got it together, we practiced getting into pe kit over the summer hols - but I think most wear it on the day and don’t change back now. He struggled with holding his pen but other than that he’s been fine and he did catch up on that did well on his SATS and Phonics so glad we didn’t hold him back. He was helped by TA on the one time he had an accident.

My summer born started secondary in September. He's a high achiever academically, but socially and emotionally behind. I think the social and emotional stuff is just the way he is though - he's disorganised, quirky and operates on his own agenda - I don't know if holding him back a year would have helped h as he's more immature than plenty of younger children too.

One thing to bear in mind is that many out of school activities, especially sports are based on birth year. DS plays a lot of football and I think he would have found it strange joining a team with children from a different school year.

Reception year at primary is very much like nursery. The curriculum prescribed lots of self selection and free flow indoor and outdoor play, so the transition to school is gentle. Many primaries local to me are keeping free flow part of Y1 and even Y2 now also as they are seeing the benefits, so finding a school that suits the way your child learns and thrives can really help the transition.

I sent my summer baby in the January not the September. She got a lot from being one of the eldest at Nursery for an extra term

It certainly didn't hold her back - she got an undergraduate first and did her Masters at Cambridge

Long term I don't think it made a difference to dds achievements, but if it had been an option to start dd in reception a year later at the time it would definitely have been better for her socially and emotionally. She was fine with the academic but wasn't emotionally ready.

Are you not entitled to funded 30 hours?

Yeah, but our youngest (1yo - so no funded hours) is starting nursery in the summer. And to be honest the bill for DS is still fairly large even with the funded hours (because it’s term time only, the nursery charges for extras, etc).

My late July son is in reception. He was socially and emotionally ready but definitely behind his peers with reading and writing. He had some problems with behaviour early on (over excitement, bolshy, not listening and playing the clown) at the end on February half term he was turning things around and doing really. Just before Easter he got the most improved student award and an absolutely glowing report from the head teacher and his class teacher. He is reading and writing now, loving school and catching up with his peers. I wouldn’t have held him back a year, even knowing he may struggle initially.

My daughter was fine, but she’d not had an accident since age 2 and was quite mature. Speak to the teacher before they start - usually you have an intro meeting. They’ll be fine and will have dealt with all kinds of kids before.

My son is just coming to the end of Y1 and started R having turned 4 in July.

He struggles with sitting still for long periods, but is academically one of the most able in the class. I think he'd be bored shitless in Reception and I'm glad I didn't hold him back. He's also a head taller than most of the other Y1s so he'd look even more odd in Reception.

My summer child really struggled through primary, both academically and with social side. She's catching up now in secondary in sense of learning but is still quite young emotionally. It's tough but there has to be a cut off somewhere and the teachers are used to working with a diverse bunch of kids with different needs. They all get there eventually.

But you will still need to pay for wrap around care. School is only 30 hours a week.

2 summer born children and a summer born myself. All started at chronological age and have done absolutely fine. Myself and DS1 are both pretty bright so had that advantage. DS3 more academically average and hasn’t suffered any adverse problems from starting school at just turned 4

My summer born has outperformed the rest of her class academically but been behind in sports. I think that’s down to her natural strengths though rather than when she was born. I’d never have held her back, she was very ready - more so than her winter-born sister in fact.

I'm sure he'll be okay, it sounds like he's mostly there with his self care and the staff are used to helping little children - they don't expect that they will all be able to manage 100% of the time. There will be other children there that are far less able and need a lot more help than yours will. Plus, you have months to help him practise so that he will be more confident in his own abilities when the time comes.

You don't seem worried that he might struggle with the learning aspect of school, so you're ahead of other summer-borns' parents in that respect too.

If it's any comfort we have a winter born with possible borderline hypermobility and your DC sounds a lot more ahead than ours, so although they will be one of the younger they won't necessary be the most behind x

I wish I'd been able to hold mine back, it wasn't an option then in our county (it is now). He is 12 and like others have said, he just isn't where his friends are right now. He struggles so much socially and academically.

I don’t think they really hold children back a year - they would just join their own year group later. I was born end of August and started school in December instead of September - I don’t know if they still do that now. Probably worth checking with your local authority.

I was a very high achiever if you’re interested 😁but it sounds like you’re more concerned about school readiness rather than longer term.

I think a lot depends on the cohort as well. My summer born girl is academic and was socially advanced - I had no questions about deferring but the vast majority of her year are autumn borns and she has noticed it. She has had to be above average to keep up with the kids 9-10 months older than her and if she wasn’t clever I think it would have hit her confidence. You could see a difference in fine motor skills, ability to self organise, doing buttons etc. It does seem that summer born boys struggle a bit more than the girls so if you have any doubts I’d look into the logistics and costs.

My second will start school this year. She’s not a summer born and it feels so much easier. It is only now with my youngest that it has sunk in really how much of an ask it is for the little ones to go to school when they are just 4.