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Original poster

Tell me about your summer born children and starting school

68 replies

IAmTheWalrus85 · 11/04/2023 15:01

I’ve got a late summer born boy who’ll be starting school in September when he’s just turned 4.

I feel really nervous about it. He just isn’t as developed as many of his older friends. Even 6 months seems to make a huge amount of difference from a developmental point of view at this age.

He’s toilet trained but he still has the odd accident if he gets absorbed in what he’s doing and he isn’t reminded to go to the loo. He still needs help with wiping (he can do it himself but not very well). I’m assuming reception teachers won’t be able to help with anything related to going to the loo.

He can put his own coat and shoes on but sometimes gets the shoes on the wrong feet. He still needs help with getting dressed (doing up on trouser buttons etc). I assume teachers can’t help them with getting changed for activities etc.

I suppose I’m just looking for stories of summer borns who’ve started reception with their chronological age group and how they’ve got on for some idea of what to expect and any tips for what I can do to help with the transition.

Thank you in advance!

OP posts:
lljkk · 11/04/2023 21:17

pfft. DS (june birthday) struggled emotionally in reception. He also struggled until yr5, he wasn't going to stop struggling any sooner, a later start would not have helped. Academics were never a problem.

BigMacExtraPickles · 11/04/2023 21:38

DS2 born in July. Didn't hold him back and he's thriving. Never even occurred to me to delay him. Please don't.

TotallyKerplunked · 11/04/2023 23:32

DS1 (born 31st August) started with his cohort less than a week after turning 4.

Academically he was ready for school and is doing very well. Socially and emotionally he still struggles now he's in secondary and doesn't really have any friends. I don't think things would be much different if I'd kept him back tbh as I think that's just how he is. We asked him if he wanted to drop down a year group (it was given as an option by his school a few years ago) and he refused.

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Motheranddaughtertotwo · 11/04/2023 23:40

My DD is summer born and has always been “above expectations”. Reception/ Nursery staff absolutely help with things like putting shoes on so your child’s needs will be met practically. I wouldn’t worry unless you are told to by a professional.

Jujujuly · 11/04/2023 23:49

BigMacExtraPickles · 11/04/2023 21:38

DS2 born in July. Didn't hold him back and he's thriving. Never even occurred to me to delay him. Please don't.

…not all kids are the same though? Why on earth would you say “please don’t” when there are so many reasons why it might be a good idea for an individual child?

BigMacExtraPickles · 12/04/2023 08:52

@Jujujuly the OP could have been writing about my son. He still had occasional accidents when engrossed in play, he put shoes on the wrong feet, he couldn't do up his trouser clasp. He learned. He's now doing great. I'm saying don't assume your kid can't play catch up and come out winning because he totally can! We underestimate our kids at times. They are stronger than we think.

Jujujuly · 12/04/2023 08:54

BigMacExtraPickles · 12/04/2023 08:52

@Jujujuly the OP could have been writing about my son. He still had occasional accidents when engrossed in play, he put shoes on the wrong feet, he couldn't do up his trouser clasp. He learned. He's now doing great. I'm saying don't assume your kid can't play catch up and come out winning because he totally can! We underestimate our kids at times. They are stronger than we think.

Yeah and some kids don’t catch up and thrive. The statistics show that for the majority of children it puts them at a disadvantage, so if I was going to gamble with my child’s future I know which way I’d go.

BigMacExtraPickles · 12/04/2023 08:57

Gambling with my child's future!!! What by putting them into school at the state recommended age??? 🤣🤣🤣 Oh Lordy!!!! The drama. Mumsnet always delivers 🤣🙄

Marchforward · 12/04/2023 09:02

BigMacExtraPickles · 12/04/2023 08:57

Gambling with my child's future!!! What by putting them into school at the state recommended age??? 🤣🤣🤣 Oh Lordy!!!! The drama. Mumsnet always delivers 🤣🙄

Recommended age for schools convenience rather than based on educational experience.

BigMacExtraPickles · 12/04/2023 09:12

@Marchforward yet another thread derail. Let the Tory bashing commence 🥱

Napmum · 12/04/2023 09:20

My son was July born. He was a bit hit and miss with wipping his bum, but we worked hard on it in August, and he got there.

In reception they ask you to send in a spare uniform in case of accidents. My son has had plenty, and school hasn't made an issue out of it.

He got better at shoes, I showed him how they point slightly towards each other, and that helps. He's still not grat with buttons, and yet he manages to get dressed and undressed for PE. I am assuming a teacher helps him.

Academically, and socially, the teacher says he's doing really well. He's already met the maths targets for th end of the year, and the teacher says he's doing much better at playing with others when his main friends want to do something different. Again, they have been working on this with him.

It sounds like your son is almost ready OP, and he's got months to improve before starting school

whiteonesugar · 12/04/2023 09:25

My DC is also a summer baby who'll be going to reception in Sept and i definitely see a difference between them and my winter born DC, however I think you'll be surprised at how much difference the next few months will make. A friend of mine has an august born DC and was worried about reception but since starting he's come on leaps and bounds. The teachers will be used to it and support your DC where they need to. I am not a fan of deferring because they miss so much social interaction and would join at a time when friendships are already established etc.

CatOnTheChair · 12/04/2023 09:26

Both mine would fit the summer born deferral requirements, but are a long way from the youngest in the year.
DS1 academically struggled for the first few years - but now has a dyslexia and dysgraphia diagnosis, and I don't think an extra year at nursery would have changed that. He is absolutely thriving at secondary - socially and academically. He has set himself a target of straight 9s at GCSE. I personally don't think he will get it, but it's not totally unreasonable to get a number of them.
DS2 is socially the opposite to DS1. He is very reserved. Academically he is flying. Socially, he is very happy with his very small group of friends. Incidentally, he has always had a group of friends with summer birthdays. Coincidence or just not as interested in the next social progression, so stays with the younger ones??
I don't think I'd have deferred either if it had been widely known about at the time (and then actually deferring would have caused issues as we moved abroad, and there was absolutly no deferral possibilities).

Geneticsbunny · 12/04/2023 09:27

There will be at least a couple of kids in his class with additional needs. They may well be completely non verbal or have a range of other delays. He definitely won't be the least able child in the class.

BordoisAgain · 12/04/2023 09:31

My late summer son started reception not being able to do shoes and socks properly, get tops on the right way, etc. but to be frank, being in a situation where he had to try meant that within a few weeks he was able to get it right most of the time.

BordoisAgain · 12/04/2023 09:35

Hit post to soon. Personally, I think that (unless a child has any actual developmental or learning issues) reception year can be beneficial to summer borns to 'level the playing field'. They may struggle for a small time but they soon catch up.

Babyat43q · 12/04/2023 09:40

Is a January start an option? My friend’s July born DC did this. He stayed at his day nursery until December, started reception in January. (It wasn’t a mega full school, which helped!)

Marchforward · 12/04/2023 10:03

BigMacExtraPickles · 12/04/2023 09:12

@Marchforward yet another thread derail. Let the Tory bashing commence 🥱

I never mentioned anything about Tories. Do care to explain why you think this is Tory bash? The system of children starting school in England existed under Labour governments too.

Skybluepinky · 12/04/2023 10:04

Mine had no issues but was toilet trained at 18 months, he hated being wet or dirty cloth nappies.
if yr child isn’t ready u can defer a year, my friends son is an August 31st Birthday no issues at all.

Woahtherehoney · 12/04/2023 10:11

I was a summer born baby (early august) and absolutely thrived at school. I suppose it helped that I had an older brother (2 years older) so he was already at school so I used to model him quite a bit and wanted to be more grown up. I did really well at school and had above average reading age and could write relatively well and my social skills were good as I spent a lot of time at nursery and with other kids. It didn’t hold me back at all.

careerchange456 · 12/04/2023 10:27

Op, I teach Y1 and lots of the things that you've put in your post happen with all young children and beyond reception as well! We're well used to children with shoes on the wrong feet, needing help for PE and needing reminders for the loo! We won't help with wiping but we will provide wipes, nappy bags, spares etc for any incidents!

Try not to worry. You've said you cant afford to defer so don't worry about that option. Try to do what you can over the next few months to get him ready for school. Most important ones:

  • Reading and recognising his name
  • Putting his shoes on (stickers inside to help)
  • Saying he needs the loo and giving him the question he needs to ask the teacher when he needs to go
  • Putting on and taking off his coat/jumper
  • Hanging things on a peg
  • Putting things into a book bag
  • Carrying a dinner plate (assuming he's having school dinners on a tray) and pretend to order. Give him two choices which he has to ask for. Even better if you can role play going along a cafeteria line!
  • Recognising his water bottle, hat, gloves, etc. Try to make sure they all have the same sticker/stamp

You have got plenty of time yet so try not to panic about him!

careerchange456 · 12/04/2023 10:29

Also don't buy clothes with buttons - next do pull on trousers! Polo shirts are probably unavoidable but don't do the buttons up. Just put the jumper over and pull the collar out. Buy a larger size jumper so he can get it off easily.

Original poster
IAmTheWalrus85 · 12/04/2023 18:29

Thanks so much for the replies, sorry if I don’t reply to all of them!

OP posts:
Original poster
IAmTheWalrus85 · 12/04/2023 18:31

careerchange456 · 12/04/2023 10:27

Op, I teach Y1 and lots of the things that you've put in your post happen with all young children and beyond reception as well! We're well used to children with shoes on the wrong feet, needing help for PE and needing reminders for the loo! We won't help with wiping but we will provide wipes, nappy bags, spares etc for any incidents!

Try not to worry. You've said you cant afford to defer so don't worry about that option. Try to do what you can over the next few months to get him ready for school. Most important ones:

  • Reading and recognising his name
  • Putting his shoes on (stickers inside to help)
  • Saying he needs the loo and giving him the question he needs to ask the teacher when he needs to go
  • Putting on and taking off his coat/jumper
  • Hanging things on a peg
  • Putting things into a book bag
  • Carrying a dinner plate (assuming he's having school dinners on a tray) and pretend to order. Give him two choices which he has to ask for. Even better if you can role play going along a cafeteria line!
  • Recognising his water bottle, hat, gloves, etc. Try to make sure they all have the same sticker/stamp

You have got plenty of time yet so try not to panic about him!

Thank you so much for this post! It’s so helpful. He can recognise his name pretty reliably but I’ll definitely work with him on the other stuff!

OP posts:
bookworm14 · 12/04/2023 18:32

My mid-August born DD is now 7 and is thriving academically (well ahead of where she needs to be in English and at the expected level in maths). She’s quite sensitive and struggles with friendships, but I think that’s her personality rather than her age (I was the same and I wasn’t young for my year).