Crazy stuff your parents did that would have social services out now

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Dipping the dummy in sugar, fizzy juice for toddlers…did your parents do anything that would be considered shocking now?

For me, I looked after my younger siblings when I was 11 (they were 8 and 5) overnight a few times a week due to clashes of my mum & dad’s nightshift work. No adults in the house, just the three of us. It didn’t cross my mind that it was crazy at the time but when I think back, it was insane.

Smoking everywhere, car, house, I remember getting burnt when Dad chucked his fag out of the car window and it flew back in the back window into us.
Being locked in the car when they went shopping, being left outside pubs while they were inside. Playing out from dawn til dusk, playing on old building sites - the list goes on!

Taking newborn sibling out for hours at around 10 years old. Being hit with the remote control, hairbrush etc. Dummy dipped in alcohol. I actually had a lovely childhood.

@Cuckoosheep I am so so sorry for what you went through.

Did your father find out about your mother's other men? Did he know you were forced to keep it secret? I feel so sad to read this.
I had an abusive alcohol related family too :(

Some of these are so sad. I'm so lucky that my parents didn't smoke, dad was teetotal and mum only had a glass of wine if we were out for dinner until I (the youngest) was a teenager. No beating (occasionally smacking, I think with a slipper, but not worse than that) or anything like that.
They did do the car stuff until we got a big enough car for us all (good old Volvo estate with boot seats) but otherwise were safety conscious. The only weird thing was when we were on holiday we were allowed to roam freely in a way we weren't allowed to do back home. We'd go to the Netherlands and hire bikes and me and my brother would go off riding bikes for hours in an unknown place and of course get lost and have to somehow find our way back. Loved it though, that freedom, and after a few days we'd know the area really well so no more getting lost.

Are you actually reading the same thread as me?

The amount of child abuse written about on this thread is horrific.

So incredibly sad.

The children piled on the backseat of cars wasn't unusual. Until the seatbelt laws came in nobody would have had any choice but to have children loose in the car.

Fortunately, at that time, there were fewer cars on the road and cars weren't as powerful and fast as they are now.

I remember having a terrible asthma attack and ending up in hospital. My dad smoked the whole way home in the car with the window closed as "the cold air won't be good for your chest"

Schools were as bad over asthma back when as well.

I remember my PE teacher actively campaigning to ban me from the school swim club. Apparently the fact that my Dr had banned me from cross country and hockey (in mid winter!) for a set period after an asthma attack meant that I shouldn’t be allowed to carry out the gradual swim build up in the nice warm, helpful pool atmosphere as i was “milking it” if I was fit for one and not the other.

I also used to dread anything asthma related if I was being minded by my aunt. She smoked. She also read my inhaler blurb and decided that her way of knowing if I was holding my breath for 10 seconds after a puff was to make me count. Out loud.

@Limetart Your post made me so sad. Your poor little brother, but it wasn't your fault he was hurt, the blame lies entirely with your violent and negligent mum who expected you to do her mummying job for her when you were far too young and ill-equipped to do it. Please please don't feel guilty x

So sorry @PopsicleHustler ♥️ I share your pain.

I knew my Grandparents number off by heart by the time I was 5 or 6 as they both used to drink and fight. My Mum once attacked my Dad with a knife and he put his hand out to stop her and caught the knife and it sliced her ear, police were called by neighbours.

I regularly came home from school to my Mum having sex with one of my Dads best friends.

My Dad ended up leaving with severe depression and couldn't look after me.

My Mum smoked weed then would fall asleep, she put a chip pain of oil on one night, fell asleep whilst smoking and the fire brigade came as she set fire to the kitchen.

I'd lay awake all night next to her watching her smoke so that she didn't set the bed alight, I stink of cats piss, smoke, weed and was so tired at school.

We had 17 cats that all kept having babies. I'd sleep on cats wee and poo all the time.

Eventually, my paternal grandparents took me when I was 8 and gave me the best rest of my childhood however I'm left with deep emotional scars that I think will never fade.

I'm due my first baby in May and can't wait to be everything my Mum wasn't. My Daughter will never worry about me drinking, setting house alight, being violent, go to bed hungry or unclean.

One of our relatives has a brain injury and he talks a lot about his childhood and all his stories have children drowning unsupervised in bodies of water, or in gravel pits, or having accidents on building sites and always limping afterwards, or collapsing old buildings and deaf afterwards, dying because of a lack of medical attention because a group of children didn't know what to do etc.

The worst stories have little girls who would "do anything to get some affection from someone" and got horribly taken advantage of by multiple men and boys, or an old man who would let local children go in his place, get warm, and make tea and toast when it was cold and raining "so long as somebody sucked him off" Or a girl who were sent away to stay with family because of what the older boys were making her do

Children are so vulnerable when just shooed out of the house for whole days at a time with no adult protection.

Being taken to the casino on a Sunday night for the midnight Chinese buffet - twas the 70's, I would have been about 13/14 (Dad was Chinese) & then onto all night Chinese films - then school

unlimiteddilutingjuice* · Yesterday 17:35

He lined us up against the kitchen wall furthest away from the blaze and demonstrated the now discredited wet tea towel technique.

I'm not sure it's entirely discredited. I did my survival at sea refresher last January and we were told to use a damp - not wringing wet - tea towel, if no fire blanket was available.

I've got to say, I thought I'd had a shit childhood, with regular beatings and psychological torture, but it wasn't half as bad as some of your stories.

I'm so sorry this happened to you @elm26

Some of these stories are so sad. My parents didn't smoke but we still had lots of ashtrays for when their friends came round. Nobody would say they had a no smoking home. I spent a lot of my childhood walking to places in my own and sometimes at night. Nothing ever happened but a few dodgy moments.

Heavy drinking and smoking.

Frequent house parties with dad's friends.

Domestic violence towards my mum who would be beaten, spat at, verbally abused.

Slipper used as punishment.

Dad used to put locks on things and as an extra measure would place a piece of my mums hair over cupboard doors so he could tell if we had tampered with them.

Psychological abuse (warfare I would say) and being goaded for not being naturally intelligent.

Blended family with step siblings from either side, caused alot of friction, fighting, resentment, neglect.

Every weekend in the social club and wouldn't get in till gone midnight where the DV would kick off as soon as we got through the door.

Disregard for medical ailments so just had to learn to live with them.

Sibling with terminal illness just left to get on with it. House was filled with medical equipment and was often left to us siblings to operate and carry out clinical cares.

Little focus on our education yet expected to be the best at everything and top sets.

Not allowed to leave food one our plate even if we were gagging/gipping.

So much verbal and no positive reinforcement.

There is so much, I wouldn't even have the time today to type it out. Despite all this, I love my parents who both had dysfunctional upbringing themselves. I often feel sick at my childhood but I have to allow forgiveness because my parents did not have access to the awareness, education, organisations etc regarding mental health that we have today. I feel lucky that my children are born into a world where abuse is becoming more recognised and addressed, but I feel sad my parents generation are at the tail end of the game with such wasted lives.

Being left to roam free range on farms where my mum and dad would be fruit picking. We got in a grain silo once and began sinking, rescued by a man with a ladder. Teenage farm worker, killed a chicken in front of me. Travelling home in the back of a pick up truck, standing up holding the cross bar or on the wheel arch. I also took the hand brake off my dad's car and started rolling backwards, saved by man on a bike.. I was between ages of 4 and 7 when this occurred. Normal stuff for me and the other kids on the farms...

The smoking in unventilated rooms still happens, my twat of an ex chain smokes with his wife to be in their house, their relatives houses they have young children and she is 8 months pregnant.

my dds refuse to go there , their house absolutely stinks.

Just like my parents house growing up, minging.

my parents used to leave my brothers in the car whilst they went to a local pub drinking, they were bought a comic, lemonade and a packet of crisps.

bloody hell

@PopsicleHustler thank you, I'm so sorry for what you went through too. I really don't understand how they got away with it. Teachers, doctors etc must have known.

To answer your question, my dad found out I knew when they separated. My dad had an affair, my mum found out when the woman knocked on our front door one night. My mum then disappeared for a few days in thd car and my dad moved out. I was only just 16 when this happened. My brother came round and fixed the front door as it had been broken. I was left alone for a few days not knowing where either of them were. When they fought that night my mum had told my dad I knew. When the dust settled my dad forgave me as I was a child. He had been taking drugs for the last couple of years of their marriage. A few months after their marriage collapsed he called me as he had over dosed. Me and my boyfriend found him and called an ambulance.

My dad eventually moved on from my mum and died in a relationship with another woman. I think he was happy until getting his cancer dx. My mum remarried but has mental health needs.

My extended family is very messed up too. My brother settled down with a girl he had been with since about 14. They had two daughters. His wife became abusive and a drug addict and he left her. One of my nieces had a child early and also moved out at 16. The other slit her wrists when she was a teenager, she moved in with my brother and I believe is now settled and happy.

My brother divorced his first wife znd remarried a really nice woman who has two great adult children. He now has a mortgage, car and goes on holidays all of which he never did before. He is in contact with my mum but keeps her at arms reach. After he moved out he became a golden child and couldn't do anything wrong. My mum gave him all sorts.

I think our parents shape our lives so much and even when we don't have contact with them they still impact us. I'm close with my brother but have little to do with my nieces (the eldest who had the baby is close to my mum). I'm non contact with my mum now. After I had my children I realised I could never do what they did and couldn't understand how they treated us. My mum did all sorts as an adult too. She told me she had cancer - she didn't, often said she was suicidal if I didn't do what she wanted, lied and gas lit, admitted not loving my children as much as my brothers, said my youngest wasn't disabled (he has very severe/ complex needs, goes to a special school, high rate mobility and care dla, he'll never live independently and needs 2:1 when out). She also told me all servery disabled people should be euthanized to save money.

My children are very loved, have a stable home, my youngest has made incredible progress and accomplished things professionals said he never would. My eldest is amazing- he got into a selective grammar, is expected all 7,8 and 9's in his gcse's, he wants to go to university and is incredibly kind.

Like you we try to give our children what I didn't have. My husband like yours works hard at this too.

Travelling in the boot when we went to the caravan.

Hit us with a belt.

Threatened to jump off the local bridge if we didn't behave which resulted in me hiding all the door and window keys from around the house.

Lovely behaviour 🤦‍♀️😂 thankfully I learned to break the cycle

This reminds me of my uncle. Growing up he was the main relative with a car, did lifts, errands for everyone, then one day I head my parents talking about him needing a drivers licence for his new job. Turned out he’d been driving for over 20 years with no license and never had a lesson.

Nearly everything

Making me walk to and from school on my own when I was four years old.
Although to be fair to my dad he had no idea my mother was doing this and he'd have gone berserk if he'd found out about it.

Neither of my parents smoked but most of my aunts and uncles did,They'd all gather at my grandparent's house every Friday afternoon and within an hour of their arrival the living room looked like a kipper house.

My dad going for an interview and leaving my sister and me in the car on a main street. We got bored and looked in the glove compartment and found a little toolset. She pretended to be a doctor and gave me an injection with a screwdriver and made my arm bleed. I ran out of the car and up the street crying for/looking for my dad! I was 7 and she was 9! Crazy!!