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Original poster

Crazy stuff your parents did that would have social services out now

491 replies

usernamechanged1 · 10/04/2023 17:00

Dipping the dummy in sugar, fizzy juice for toddlers…did your parents do anything that would be considered shocking now?

For me, I looked after my younger siblings when I was 11 (they were 8 and 5) overnight a few times a week due to clashes of my mum & dad’s nightshift work. No adults in the house, just the three of us. It didn’t cross my mind that it was crazy at the time but when I think back, it was insane.

OP posts:
Heyhoitsme · 11/04/2023 18:11

They must have wanted rid of me on Sundays as they made me start Sunday school aged three, instead of five. My eight year old brother had to walk me there and I had to sit in a class of older boys. The teacher resented me being there and told me not to move or speak. I tried to be invisible. I remember crying at home because I didn't want to go.

number46 · 11/04/2023 18:12

When I was 11 and my sister was 13 my mum brought us to London and put us on a coach trip to Paris (via hovercraft) to be met by a friend of a friend for an exchange trip. I thought it was really cool at the time (c 1981) but my mum is wracked with guilt about it now.

LawfulSearch · 11/04/2023 18:12

My childhood meant we did have social services out and I was on the child protection register.

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Families
ShoshanaBlue101 · 11/04/2023 18:18

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 10/04/2023 17:35

My Dad once decided that a chip pan fire was a good teachable moment.
So he left the burning chip pan unattended to call us in from the street (where we were playing unsupevised) and watch him put it out.
He lined us up against the kitchen wall furthest away from the blaze and demonstrated the now discredited wet tea towel technique.

I thought all parents did this!

Winifred2o · 11/04/2023 18:24

I thought everyone had yellow ceilings! Smoking parents!

wentworthinmate · 11/04/2023 18:25

Hellocatshome · 10/04/2023 17:29

Physical punishment .
Not believing or acting on accusations of sexual abuse.
Leaving under 14s home alone for weeks on end while they went on holiday.
Using children under the age of criminal responsibility to commit crimes.

Holy crap. Sorry to hear that.

sumayyah · 11/04/2023 18:32

My dad had a van. 3 of us would be sat in the back on tool boxes hanging on for dear life at every corner
My mum drove with us laid in the boot of the estate car numerous times and holidays meant having the luggage stacked on top of us
I was also abandoned in hospital every time I had surgery because they had other kids and being left home alone for a few hours happened a lot
Oh and the walk home from school for 3 kids age 5, 7 and 9 of a few miles was the norm for a lot of us kids, school just opened the doors and shooed us all out

sumayyah · 11/04/2023 18:35

Oh and as little kids our garden was very very long and backed on to fields, we would sleep at the edge of the garden out of view and hearing range of the house...... Until my mum heard on the news of a girl kidnapped from her grandads garden and we weren't allowed to do it any more

Then there's the entire days as small kids that my mum locked us out the garden after breakfast and we weren't let back in until evening

SchrodingersParrot · 11/04/2023 18:36

Smoking indoors and in the car.
Smacking.
Forcing me to eat stuff I didn't like (not really a Social Services issue, I agree, but it felt pretty cruel at the time).

Missingpop · 11/04/2023 18:40

Don’t get me started; I grew up in care & SS were fucking useless; they got calls & letters telling them I was being physically & mentally abused & the useless fucking idiots did sweet fuck all; they’d phone up to say they were coming out to do a welfare check & of course all bruises were covered up & I’d been told to keep my gob shut or else; not once did they try to see me alone or visit me at school to see what was going on; I would never trust SS with a child’s welfare; nothings changed everytime I see another child has died at the hands of a carer or parent my blood runs cold, there but for the grace of god go I.

LovelyLisa2 · 11/04/2023 18:41

Chain smoking indoors. I got punished at school for smoking as my clothes stank (I have never smoked).

Leaving me at home aged 5 and ill while my mum worked.

Lovely13 · 11/04/2023 18:43

A tot of brandy with hot water and sugar was administered to sick children. Still remember the taste. It was yummy, but I was about seven!😳

firstduemarch09 · 11/04/2023 18:47

We met a Scottish family on holiday. Knew them for a weekish. No longer. My 8yo sister was friendly with their son.
my parents flew me (12) and my sister unaccompanied to Aberdeen from Gatwick to stay with them for a week in the next holidays. This was 30 years ago. No phones etc.
it was awful. The parents were obviously going through some marital breakdown and argued. We were homesick and cried in our room. Can’t believe my parents trust in doing this.

Also at 17yo my parents sent me to a maths tutor which was a 50ish single man in a one bedroom flat in Herne Hill. I used to sit on his bed on a Sunday afternoon while going through a level text books. Was a very uncomfortable awkward experience.

Jonei · 11/04/2023 18:48

Nothing, apart from the seatbelt thing. But there were no seatbelts in the back seats so there wouldn't have been much choice.

Playing out for hours. But my kids do that now. Granted I can get hold of them if I need to, but I rarely do. I don't track them.

Lots of the things listed in this thread would still have been child abuse then, and social services would have been involved if they were aware.

Harls1969 · 11/04/2023 18:53

Being left unsupervised a lot as a small child - we had a shop, I was left in our flat above while they worked. Victorian building with lots of stairs and no stair gates and a gas fire with no guard. I remember trying some of the miniature bottles of alcohol that were on display and playing with grandparent's medication (valium!).
Looking after my baby sibling from the age of 11.
No seatbelts in the back of the car, I remember standing up with my head out of the sun roof while driving along.
Parents were smokers and smoked indoors, including around my siblings when they were babies.
Different times 😳

13Bastards · 11/04/2023 19:02

Sitting on a tool box in the back of a transit van for long journeys
Being taken to the pub as a newborn
No other option for dinner than what was made, no pandering to fussy eaters in our house.
Bringing home stray cats as pets
Mum and dad going to a party next door and leaving me to sleep at home

Mine are all lighthearted though, sorry for those of you whose are more severe

TheTruthWillSetYouFreeMaybe · 11/04/2023 19:02

both DPs smoked cigs . Dad would sometimes smoke a pipe too - not at the same time ! They would smoke while in car - windows closed cos DM was always freezing cold so not allowed windows open. I would get badly travel sick. Grew up hating cigs. Sometimes belt across the btm. Various forms of aggression. Grew up scared of anger

TTC79 · 11/04/2023 19:05

My dad used to drive the car with a beer can between his legs, not sure why, he's not an alcoholic. Also being left alone A LOT whilst they worked. But luckily we were always out playing.

nannykatherine · 11/04/2023 19:06

sunshineandstrawberryjam · 10/04/2023 17:24

Car stuff too! Very normal for my parents and friends to host parties. Kids would all be upstairs with a video and sleeping bags, totally unsupervised. We'd watch films and eat crisps and eventually fall asleep and be picked up and loaded into the boot in our sleeping bags and unloaded at the other end.

Nothing wrong in this it’s amazing fun

TooOldToCareAboutOthersOpinions · 11/04/2023 19:07

Smacked me
Left us in car when went in shops sometimes for a fair while.

NightandViolets · 11/04/2023 19:12

Not my parents but my dad’s parents used to leave him in the car with a bag of crisps and hole up in the pub all evening. He was really little at the time, it makes me really sad but this was tip of iceberg in terms of how awful they were to him 😥

CriticalAlert · 11/04/2023 19:15

My goodness.... loads of things!

  1. When I was 10 I'd collect my 4 year old brother from nursery (after I finished school). I'd make us both tea. Did this M-F. Parents at work.
  2. My mum took my little brother on holiday and left me at home alone for 3 weeks. I was 15 and due to start O level college. I can't remember if I had any money but I know I didn't eat much!
  3. Parents continually smoked indoors.
  4. Lots of getting smacked.
TylerL · 11/04/2023 19:17

This post is amazing! How times have changed but it was so much fun back then, we didn't only fight over the boot but when we got the boot ride we had to hold the boot door on with a rope haha best days.

Suburbitonian · 11/04/2023 19:20

usernamechanged1 · 10/04/2023 17:00

Dipping the dummy in sugar, fizzy juice for toddlers…did your parents do anything that would be considered shocking now?

For me, I looked after my younger siblings when I was 11 (they were 8 and 5) overnight a few times a week due to clashes of my mum & dad’s nightshift work. No adults in the house, just the three of us. It didn’t cross my mind that it was crazy at the time but when I think back, it was insane.

Same here. Fairly par for the course. Please don't report anyone for doing this. Be a kind neighbour and offer to help or keep your nose out.

I think the law is nicely vague on this one. There is no set age at which a child can left alone. If something goes wrong the parent has to justify their actions to authorities. OP - your parents nicely risk assessed this - all 3 of you are sleeping for most of this. I would warn children in this scenario - no cooking, cutting, burning or kettles.

Some 11 year olds wouldn't be trusted to tie their shoelaces let alone take care for 8 and 5yo siblings. It depends. The main risk here is squabbling between siblings getting out of hand.

My mum briefed my sister and me - "if you want to go to ballet and cub camp, I need to work. For that to work, you need to be on your best behaviour etc"

I always point out to my girls the significance of Kevin from Home Alone calling the cops to his neighbours house rather than his own.

Source
www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

Peace✌️

hoover12345 · 11/04/2023 19:22

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 10/04/2023 17:35

My Dad once decided that a chip pan fire was a good teachable moment.
So he left the burning chip pan unattended to call us in from the street (where we were playing unsupevised) and watch him put it out.
He lined us up against the kitchen wall furthest away from the blaze and demonstrated the now discredited wet tea towel technique.

I had a chip pan fire not long after I had my daughter and we had just moved into a apartment! It was the worse few minutes I've had. The wet tea towel worked for me. It took 2 tea towels but it put it out. I've never cooked home made chips since.

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