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Crazy stuff your parents did that would have social services out now

491 replies

usernamechanged1 · 10/04/2023 17:00

Dipping the dummy in sugar, fizzy juice for toddlers…did your parents do anything that would be considered shocking now?

For me, I looked after my younger siblings when I was 11 (they were 8 and 5) overnight a few times a week due to clashes of my mum & dad’s nightshift work. No adults in the house, just the three of us. It didn’t cross my mind that it was crazy at the time but when I think back, it was insane.

OP posts:
Ktime · 11/04/2023 01:48

coffeesackcat · 10/04/2023 20:50

Too much nasty shit that was domestic violence then and would be domestic violence (and also illegal to boot) now from my mum's ex-husband (divorced parents). My father was a nasty bastard as well and I haven't had anything to do with him for 30 years or so. Difference being no-one gave a damn then and children were most definitely NOT listened to.

However I always remember baking lunchbox treats for the week on a Sunday with my Mum. She used to make this cookie-sized biscuit topped with a cherry that she called a 'melting moment'. I have never been able to even come close to replicating the recipe and Mum won't tell me! This was back in the day where you could have chocolate spread sandwiches, crisps, chocolate bars and chocolate milkshake in your lunchbox and no-one would care. Definitely no school lunchbox police then.

Why won’t your mum tell you the recipe? Seems mean.

S0upertrooper · 11/04/2023 02:36

My DF was dead against my DM learning to drive and DF didn't drive either. She bought a wee mini and parked it across the road and didn't tell him it was hers. She got one of the neighbours to show her how to drive (not lessons, just a wee trip round the block) and she drove it without a licence with me in the back. Her theory was the police would never think a middle aged woman with a kid in the back didn't have a licence!

It was the 70s, the mini was purple and I was sworn to secrecy. My DF only found out about it when it was stolen and the police came to the door.

caringcarer · 11/04/2023 03:41

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 10/04/2023 17:43

FangedFrisbee Turn the heat off underneath the pan. Soak a tea towel under the cold tap then wring it out to remove the excess water. Place the wet teatowel over the pan to starve the fire of air.

EdithGradham Apparently so. I think it creates a larger blaze if you get it wrong. I only found this put by sharing the story on another forum. I don't know what you're supposed to do now.

I have a fire blanket. They don't cost much.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

adultdds · 11/04/2023 03:59

Smoking in the living room, smacking, being sent to the shop to buy fags. Allowing us to out drinking from around 14.
Force feeding.

Coaster99 · 11/04/2023 04:04

Father used to take us all on long road trips in school hols in the 70’s, often 12-15 hrs in the car. Mother would hand him can after can of full strength beer and stuff the empties under her seat. We had a huge V8 Ford and he used to fly down the highways pissed to the eyeballs, overtaking everything in sight. It’s a miracle we didn’t end up in a car crash.

SchoolTripDrama · 11/04/2023 04:49

Hellocatshome · 10/04/2023 17:29

Physical punishment .
Not believing or acting on accusations of sexual abuse.
Leaving under 14s home alone for weeks on end while they went on holiday.
Using children under the age of criminal responsibility to commit crimes.

Omg I'm so sorry 😞

HedgehogPrincess · 11/04/2023 04:52

Google Be-Ro melting moments

augustusglupe · 11/04/2023 05:07

Me having to walk to and from school alone every day, I was 5. Down 2 busy main roads and accross 1.
Dad hitting me accross the head if I even glanced at him when I was being told off. Mum used to say I deserved it and that 'he never hit the others'. Meaning my older Brother and sisters.
Also like others, mum smoking everywhere and being left in the car with lemonade and crisps.

chelslurker · 11/04/2023 05:20

Oh these are nostalgic reads 😂

As with all things, I know the way we parent now will seem totally insane and unacceptable to future generations, but I can't think how! I guess grounding, telling-off (even mild ones) etc will be abuse. (I don't say/see that as a bad thing)

PopsicleHustler · 11/04/2023 06:16

-getting drunk all the bloody time.

-inviting strangers from the pub to the house and weird scenarios happening.

-priortising alcohol over food and clothing. We rarely had socks, never the correct school uniform and would often be late for school because they spent the bus pass money on vodka. Meaning we had to wait til they got paid again on Tuesday to return to school and say we were unwell on the Monday. I was often in trouble for coming into school in trainers, the wrong types of school trousers, but my parents really did not care.

-myfather would put my mothers medication in her tea,.so she would fall asleep and he wouldn't have to put up with her bipolar episodes

-affairs

  • not having food in because they got alcohol instead so ended up always eating whatever measly stuff was left in the cupboards.

-going Into the kitchen to see my drunk and passed out father, and the cooker on and then I would have to try and turn it off. They really didn't care about starting fires and burning the house down.

-cooking for myself and my sister from a young age.

-being told they wish they were drunk when we told them we were upset they were drunk.

-my mother would her very violent and start beating my dad up and he never retaliated. Lamps, ornaments, plates, glasses and tables were frequently smashed.

-drinking until they were absolutely hammered

-hit regularly by other siblings or have my toes stamped on and a result of that is I now have a dislocated toe that clicks in and out.

-hit by a sibling in the nose with aerosol cans and nose bleeds and had my glasses snatched off my face and snapped into two. Was always at the opticians.

-rarely would go to the doctors because they were either too drunk or didn't have the money to go

-alwayshad the same gritty trainers for years

-always had headlice

  • hygiene was so bad and parents rarely bathed us or cut our nails, yet the house was immaculate.
  • would go out for hours to get drunk leaving the dog cooped up in the lounge or kitchen all day so the poor border collie had no choice but to go toilet in the house and they were so drunk it was never cleaned properly

-letting the dog out for the toilet whilst drunk and forgetting the gate was open and forgetting the dog was out and I had to go look for him aged 12 in the darkness very late at night.

-doing bonfires and barbecues late at night.

  • bringing weirdos back from the pub that would barge into the toilet whilst we were on it on purpose from age 6-7

-going to strip clubs during the day with us in tow, there wasn't strippers on during the day as it was a pub in the daytime and strip club and lap dancing bar at night, but we put two and two together when we saw the pictures of the dancers displayed on the table and walls, and poles randomly here and there. But they just acted like it a was a normal day out.

-pubs every single bloody Saturday. I dont know why the bar staff continued to serve them until they were leg less and falling over then when they could see me and my small sister needed looking after.

-not bothering to cook tea or do a proper food shop so you often went hungry.

letting us watch films like pretty women and thinking it is hilarious when it is clearly a very inappropriate story line with prostitution etc.

-allowed to watch 18 plus films with them at night and when sex scenes came on we were good to just cover our eyes and then we could still hear the moaning noises. It was so gross.

-having filthy playing cards, erotic puzzles and dirty magazines casually left around.

-my younger brother was allowed to have posters of topless or women in bras on his wall from age 12.

  • punched in the head by one parent but the other never did lay a hand on us.
  • my mother would get so bladdered and start arguing with my dad, all you could hear from the kitchen was her constantly screeching his name and for him to p off for ages until they finally went to bed.
  • sibling funded for their drug habit to keep the peace otherwise they would kick off big time.

-they would decide to go to the pub while we were in school, I would come.home aged about 12 and be locked out for numerous hours hungry or whether it was in the rain and have to go to the toilet in the garden behind a Bush as was so desperate and they would come home bladdered and not at all bothered, that I had to sit in the cold, wet garden whilst they were down the pub getting drunk as skunks.

-crying all the time because they were drunk and fighting.

-going to friends houses for tea and seeing them having a normal happy family life and the parents weren't drinking. And wishing I had that.

-embarrassed my friends would come round for tea or sleepovers and hoping my parents wouldn't get drunk and then be so ashamed when the friends parents would come collect them and see my parents bladdered.

  • my dad smoked like no tomorrow and I had bad asthma but he didn't care

-having their useless drunk of a friend over with his massive attacking aggressive dog that would attack any other cat or dog and whilst drunk they had the great idea of training it to be around our chihuahua. It always went for the chihuahua and we had to keep them separated.

  • they would go to the pub to get steaming drunk and leave my older brother in charge back at the house, who would happily smack us and shove us about and lock us in the bedroom and we would be crying for help out the window. A neighbour was absolutely astounded at how many times this happened and kept repeating to us why do your parents leave you with him and how your parents can slip off to the pub and leave your brother to keep hitting you and he would even put things up against the door to stop us from leaving.

-I found out my brother had gone with a 14/15 year old girl when he was 20/21/22 and I went mad but my parents allowed her to stay over. And sleep in my brothers room and when I confronted him he went mad and began to beat and throw stuff at my head like high heavy stereos and appliances. He was never punished and my mother always thought he was this amazing angel.

  • my brother getting beaten when my dad was drunk. All because he wasn't his own flesh and blood. Was so stupid because my father took my brother on like his own when he met and married our mother. That's why I didn'blame my brother so much for the violence towards us because my dad was awful to him.
He didn't have it easy as my father made a big difference between him my sisters and my younger brother and I.

-hving a cigarette whilst drunk and then falling asleep with it still in their hands or mouth and I would have to put it out.

-having the same tooth brush for years

-sister became mega drug addict from the age of 12
She was also incredibly violent, stole from all of us, never punished and was allowed to get away with it because she was a beautiful angel. She even slashed my face with nails and sat on my stomach while I was pregnant .

  • often remember being sick while they were drunk but they couldn't deal with it properly because too hammered.
  • any extra money they found lying around would go on alcohol when clearly we had no food

-sending my sister and I to the shop to get tobacco

-letting us play out and to different areas from age 6

-my mother drunk and wailing that she needs a break from us anytime we asked for anything. We would simply come In to the kitchen and ask please can we eat for her to tell at us she needs a break. We were really well behaved but we shouldn't have asked for food apparently because she was in the kitchen getting drunk and having her time off.
So we would slope back to the lounge with hungry tummies.

-I would go to the kitchen and quickly pour their alcohol down the sink and top up the beer bottles, cider and vodka bottles with water hoping they wouldn't notice so they couldn't get more drunk

-begging them not to get drunk

-almost setting the house on fire

-leaving the bird cages open and then the birds flying out around the house and me and my drunk father trying to catch them.

-my father one night drunk out of his wits and furious at my brother for not being his blood son, decided it was the time to tell us that my brother was not his real boy and that he was someone else's. I remember locking myself in the bathroom in tears and sobbing my heart out because I had an inkling he wasn't my dads. I didn't really care too much about him not being my dads blood son. It was the way my father did it, telling us whilsy drunk and being horrible about him. Even though he was not my fathers biologically he married my mother knowing full well she had a child, and yet my father drilled it into us he is not Mine, frequently calling my brother a bastard and ramming punches in his stomach and being so cruel yet my mother still stayed with him.
My brother went through a lot and left home early.

-my brother also had a rotten temper and would slam doors and get upset easy. I wonder now about him and hope he's ok but he hates my guts and he doesn't agree with black and white marriages, like interracial relationships, and he is a different person now and I am nc with everyone due to my rough childhood except for my little brother who is now in the police and married .
We are the only one who turned out normal.

-when I started my periods my mother could barely afford the sanitary pads so we used to have to use rolled up toilet roll and she would use pillow cases, ruin them with her blood and then wash them.
The money for sanitary pads went on alcohol.

Now I am no contact with any of them. It was pretty rough to the point I was still abused up until my 20s and finally cut off all contact with my parents in 2018
I want to give my children a better life than I had and I bloody hate alcohol with a passion. I am married now with 6 children, married to a man who despises my childhood and hates what I went through. He promised to take good care of me and support me and show me the love I missed out on. I look at my children now and think how the hell could I put alcohol above their needs.

My parents are separated and divorced now, and both remarried people who are also big into alcohol. It's so sad and hurtful.

I hated my childhood. I used to walk home from school praying the whole way please dont let them be drunk and please let there be food.

Oblomov23 · 11/04/2023 06:22

I don't think most of these are that bad, especially the car bits, and you looking after siblings overnight.

verdantverdure · 11/04/2023 06:33

When I had my first baby an elderly friend of the family told me to strap them in the pram and put them at the bottom of the garden between feeds so that I could "get on" because "otherwise there's no peace until they go to school"

mondaytosunday · 11/04/2023 06:33

My Dad had a two door Mustang (red, 1960s - so cool). I remember sleeping on the back shelf! No seatbelts in the back then or kids car seats.
My husband told me his parents would go out for the evening leaving him (aged 5) to look after his brother (aged 3). She once said 'well we didn't know any better' - like what?!?

verdantverdure · 11/04/2023 06:34

I'm so sorry @PopsicleHustler Sad

PopsicleHustler · 11/04/2023 06:52

@verdantverdure thank you. It was pretty mad
Theres so much more but I would be typing all day.
All I want to do now is give my kids the best in the world.

Hongkongsuey · 11/04/2023 07:02

Some of these things are obviously abuse and would not have been acceptable in any age. But some of the rest I’m quite nostalgic for. Especially being given free reign to play out. Adults used to trust children more-to sort out their own friendships, schoolwork and risk assessment within limits. Was that any worse than now where children aren’t given any responsibility over their own lives and parents have to sort everything out for them? Neither my friends parents or mine used to help with homework or monitor our study. Or got involved with our friendships and how we played. Nowadays where teenage anxiety is rife-was it really worse?

Gateoverriver · 11/04/2023 07:06

Beatings with a wooden spoon.

Being force fed food I didn’t like, ie liver.

My mothers friend (male) telling me when I was 13 or 14 that I was filling out nicely and then being made to have a photo taken with him touching me.

Just really not having a loving relationship with my parents.

AlwaysGinPlease · 11/04/2023 07:15

@PopsicleHustler that made my cry. I am so sorry. I hope you are happy and well now .

Justleaveitblankthen · 11/04/2023 07:23

Onefootinthegroove · 10/04/2023 17:37

Sitting in the car with a can of pop and a pack of crisps while they had an evening out with friends in the pub.

Absolutely this. Even better if there was a little park nearby, I could play on the swings all alone in the darkness 🫤
A few days in Blackpool had me staying all alone in the Guest house telly room with a random adult male while they all went out.
Oh but my uncle gave me change if I got bored and wanted to walk to the promenade slot machines instead.
I was 9🤔

Nannewnannew · 11/04/2023 07:26

marrymeadam · 10/04/2023 19:44

This thread has made me so grateful for my childhood. We drove without seatbelts as was the norm and we played out for hours alone but my mum and dad didn't drink or smoke, I was played with, walked to school and basically loved and cared for. I have just messaged my mum to thank them for trying their best for me

This is so good to read amongst all these depressing posts and how lovely that you have thanked your Mum. ❤️

PopsicleHustler · 11/04/2023 07:38

@AlwaysGinPlease thank you for your message. It hurts me to this day that my parents never truly loved me and that they cared more about alcohol than us children. That's why I have to give my kids the best because I didn't.

My grandmother was very shocked when she collected us from the airport when we went to visit her in her country. We had no socks and were wearing our school shoes ON HOLIDAY!
BECAUSE THEY RARELY BOUGHT US TRAINERS OR NORMAL CASUAL SHOES TO WEAR ON WEEKENDS! We also looked very untidy and scruffy and heads Full of headlice. I remember the majority of the holiday wad nanny and grandad nit combing our hairs for hours on end to help us
Nanny's words were we looked like wee orphans. She was disgusted at my parents alcoholism and told them all the time to stop and look after us. She also blamed my parents on the way my siblings turned out. She is passed now but she was super lovely and she was aware my brother didn't agree with interracial marriages but she said she was so happy for me it doesn't matter my husband is black.

Hotcrossed · 11/04/2023 08:00

in the car when crisps and lemonade while dm went to the pub

why was this so normal and when did it stop?
if it was night time, bed down in the back of the car in sleeping bags in pub car park.

garlictwist · 11/04/2023 08:02

We went on holiday to Menorca with another family. To save money, they just got one hire car between the two families and we all just piled in together with kids on adults' knees.

Clawdy · 11/04/2023 08:11

Our bedroom was freezing cold, so we had a paraffin heater in the corner, with flames burning. Apparently if it had been knocked over the paraffin would have poured on the floor and set alight, so we were told not to go near it. We were six and three!

JustToBeMe · 11/04/2023 08:16

"ladygindiva
Drink driving with kids in the car. Smoking indoors. Leaving us as young children in hotel rooms/ holiday apartments alone at night whilst they drank at the bar with a baby monitor."

"Wiccan
Yes I remember the McCann's did something similar 🤔"*
*

And that was 2007!! both parents if I remember correctly, Doctors...!!