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Original poster

Don’t want to go on holiday with family

52 replies

Rosebean · 08/04/2023 21:50

We are going on holiday with DH’s family in a few months time to a beach resort in Spain. They asked us to go with them and it’s all booked and paid for.

I just don’t want to go. We are simply not beach/lying around a pool people (they are and will sulk if we leave the resort to sight-see) and what possessed us to agree is beyond me; the only benefit is for all our DC to holiday together.

What makes it worse is that I absolutely hate myself right now and the size I have become. I used to be a 10 and I’m now an 18. I look and feel vile and definitely don’t want to be seen in a swimsuit by SIL who is a size 8 and likes to look me up and down when fully clothed so heaven knows what she will think of me in a swimsuit. I’ll be the only fat person in the family group.

I guess it’s brought it to a head today as we visited FIL and he handed out Easter eggs to everyone but he gave me a box of Slim-Fast choc bars. I nearly died of shame. I left them there at his house. I am so upset and humiliated and I just don’t want to go on this holiday. To not go would cause WW3. I just don’t know what to do anymore and it’s just another thing that I feel so down about. I think I may be in perimenopause but everything is getting me down. How am I going to cope on this holiday? 😢

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 08/04/2023 21:52

Feck that, your FIL is a nasty bastard. Your husband should be raising hell with him!

HallidayGranger · 08/04/2023 21:52

...and what was your husbands reaction to his dad so blatantly bullying his wife?

Bleakhouser · 08/04/2023 21:55

That was a cruel thing to do, I’m sorry that happened to you. Your FIL is not a nice person and I hope your DH was furious.

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MyDarlingClementine · 08/04/2023 21:57

Why is fil handing you slim fast bars not causing world war 3?
Start ww3 yourself now!

Campervangirl · 08/04/2023 21:57

Let it raise ww3.
Absolutely disgusting behaviour by your fil and you sil sounds equally vile.
Why would you go on holiday with people that treat you like that.
What does your DH do when they treat you badly?

Cosycover · 08/04/2023 21:57

Did no one say anything when your FIL did that? What a nasty prick.

MzHz · 08/04/2023 21:59

Wow, that’s spectacularly cruel. I hope your dh stood up for you. Good for you to leave it there.

MyDarlingClementine · 08/04/2023 22:00

BTW I often found in old pil dealings that dilly dallying and being wishy washy was the worst.
However once you make the firm descion not too be treated like that, life gets easier...

MzHz · 08/04/2023 22:00

Please tell me Fil paid for the holiday? If so, stand him up and don’t go.

fuck that shit

Star81 · 08/04/2023 22:00

Please tell me your husband said something to your FIL

Otherwise you have bigger problems than your in laws

Hercisback · 08/04/2023 22:01

Ww3 should have started after he gave you the bars.

Don't go.

MumOf2workOptions · 08/04/2023 22:03

DisforDarkChocolate · 08/04/2023 21:52

Feck that, your FIL is a nasty bastard. Your husband should be raising hell with him!

Exactly this!!!
You poor thing!!

Do not go on this holiday and let this vile man upset you anymore, your husband should have your back here and if he doesn't and he's morphing into his father for gods sake get rid!

PeachPiePrincess · 08/04/2023 22:04

Wow that's one of the worst things I've read on here.

You have two choices really - decide to go, dread the lead up, feel awful on holiday, leave yourself open to more meanness from your in-laws and wish you hadn't gone

Or say f this, they're horrible people. And don't go. You'll probably feel bad as you assert your new boundaries but they won't be making you feel shit about yourself.

It's not beneficial for your children to spend time with these people and see you be treated like this.

I feel sick thinking about those slim fast bars, I can only imagine how much worse you feel 💐

ninjafoodienovice · 08/04/2023 22:06

What a nasty piece of work.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. You are so much more than a clothes size.

I would absolutely not go on this holiday. Holidays are supposed to be fun and carefree, happy occasions. With your horrible sil and nasty fil you will have a terrible time, not to mention the impact ut will have on your self esteem.

Fil has inadvertently done you a favour. Use his awful bullying behaviour as the reason for pulling out and lay the blame fully at his door. There is no way you want to subject your DC to this sort of toxic behaviour.

Slimjimtobe · 08/04/2023 22:06

Your FIL gave you your perfect reason to back out

he is causing WW3 and not you !!

no way on the earth would I go and if Dh doesn’t stick up for you he’s just as bad

Exhibity · 08/04/2023 22:08

I hope your husband took his father to task over his vile behaviour.
Refuse to go and if your husband can't understand why or doesn't back you up, then you should question your relationship with the lot of them.

WhiteBobbin · 08/04/2023 22:10

Another voice for what did your DH say?
Your FIL has handed tou a reason to not go in the holiday. I’d actually be kick starting WW3 myself now. Fuck them. They are shit people. Is your DH one of them?

JunieJay · 08/04/2023 22:24

What a horrible, horrible man. I'm.so sorry you were made to feel like that.

I'd say that was reason enough not to go on holiday. I'd not be spending any more time with anyone wo treats me like that.

What did your DH say?!

Lollypop701 · 08/04/2023 22:31

Size is a number not a definition of who you are. You can’t change other people only your reaction to them… and fil needs to told to fuck off quite frankly. Get covid, don’t go and tell dh if he doesn’t have your back he can stay with his family

Ikeameatballs · 08/04/2023 22:32

Until the point re your FIL I thought YABU but feck the lot of them and do what you want!

tolerable · 08/04/2023 22:36

whatta prick..ruin his "concept"of you n every other not size 10.get absolutely shit faced daily,call him "gurlfriend"go topless...n emulate lizzo ...IF yall have to eat together entertain yourself chewing then spitting the food out....and spike him viagra

GCAcademic · 08/04/2023 22:36

You FIL is a nasty bastard, but his bullying has given you the perfect way out of this holiday.

AHugeTinyMistake · 08/04/2023 22:40

How DARE he. Your FIL is a vile bully.

He's given you the perfect excuse not to go on this holiday. Ring them tomorrow and tell them you won't be going. You don't waste your time going on holiday with bullies.

WW3 indeed. Give em the nuclear option OP!

SnarkyBag · 08/04/2023 22:40

Based on your FIL’s behaviour today I’d say let WW3 commence! Not a chance I would holiday with such a complete arsehole

Northernsouloldies · 08/04/2023 22:48

MzHz · 08/04/2023 22:00

Please tell me Fil paid for the holiday? If so, stand him up and don’t go.

fuck that shit

I picked your post to agree with your advice to op. No way on God's earth should she go on that holiday and should tell the prick of a Fil why.