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Original poster

Have you ever been pleased/relieved to be told a dog “is friendly”?

179 replies

lingle · 08/04/2023 18:52

Or to hear more about the dog’s age, training, “people who don’t like dogs” or that said dog is “just having fun”

I personally haven’t - it’s very annoying because I’m often thinking about work/solving a work problem, or getting away from the stresses/conflicts of everyday life when on a walk and if a dog needs to be called away I prefer the owner to just say “sorry” so I can say “no problem” and then we can each get on with our day.

of course the dog owner can curse my failure to embrace the chance to praise their dog/ask what breed it is afterwards - not on my time.

OP posts:
Inkblue · 08/04/2023 22:54

I don’t care how friendly your dog is, I don’t want it anywhere near me.

NemoandDoris · 08/04/2023 23:00

The hapless owner often shouts out from a distance that the dog is friendly.

the owner is hoping that the dog will ‘be friendly’. Owner does not know what the dog will do & has zero control over it.

Dogs are not fur babies, they do not smile either, this is just anthropomorphism at its worst.

XenoBitch · 08/04/2023 23:05

NemoandDoris · 08/04/2023 23:00

The hapless owner often shouts out from a distance that the dog is friendly.

the owner is hoping that the dog will ‘be friendly’. Owner does not know what the dog will do & has zero control over it.

Dogs are not fur babies, they do not smile either, this is just anthropomorphism at its worst.

I can call my dog a furbaby if I want. It does not affect you. Also, some breeds do smile.

Interested in this thread?

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Dogs
Windbeneathmybingowings · 08/04/2023 23:08

No. Being told a dog is friendly means nothing to me. It’s a stranger, I don’t know it from Adam, let alone the owner.

“it’s ok, he’s friendly”
my answer
”I’m not”
”I teach the kids not to talk to strangers, and that includes dogs” 👍🏻

DisappearingGirl · 08/04/2023 23:09

It depends on the context really.

I'm not keen on "he's friendly" as an excuse for a muddy one jumping up at me.

But my kids love dogs and if they pass one and say aww look at the dog, then sometimes the owners say "he's friendly" which we take to mean "it's okay to pat him". I quite like that.

RedDirtWildChild · 08/04/2023 23:11

XenoBitch · 08/04/2023 23:05

I can call my dog a furbaby if I want. It does not affect you. Also, some breeds do smile.

Show quote history

Mine are just my babies, no prefix required. And they’re my children’s siblings....obviously. 😉

Windbeneathmybingowings · 08/04/2023 23:14

I understood smiling to be panting/self soothing behaviour.

IronBan · 08/04/2023 23:20

Part of me wants to jump up at the owner and star5 to try and lick their face and see how they feel, I’m just being friendly after all.

gertrudemortimer · 09/04/2023 01:09

I'm not a dog person and I have very bad allergies that affect breathing etc but I'm not normally afraid of them.

This all changed last summer when my ds's (6) school friends mum invited us to her house for a play date after school. I've known the mum from my days in school and I'd have been happy for my ds to go there without me.

Until we got to the house and saw what was basically a bodybuilder in dog form. (Friendly, harmless apparently!) I was terrified of it, it seemed angry and agitated. Her kids kept leaving the baby gate open that blocked them from it, I was very anxious telling her to get the dog back downstairs, put it outside (tiny courtyard full of poo). She told me she couldn't physically walk the dog and her husband had been away all week! Then she told me it was an American pitbull and I got my son and left. We've never been back since and my son says to them 'my mum doesn't like your dog' which is mortifying but who the fuck has a dog like that with little kids? I was shook up for a good few days.

WeAllHaveWings · 09/04/2023 01:19

Soubriquet · 08/04/2023 18:56

It depends. I’ve had to tell people my dog is friendly because when they approach her, she smiles.

Now to most people, it looks likes she’s growling but she isn’t. She’s smiling.

So I reassure people that yes, she’s friendly.

Our family collie when we were growing up did that too. He was a big soft lump with not an aggressive bone in his body, you can tell by their posture it is not aggressive. No one believed us either and I've never met another dog that does it yet, but if you google it is a thing.

LighterNights · 09/04/2023 01:49

No, if someone says that they're generally expecting me to touch it. Which I absolutely don't want to do. I love dogs but have no desire to touch other peoples.

Changeau · 09/04/2023 07:02

Windbeneathmybingowings · 08/04/2023 23:08

No. Being told a dog is friendly means nothing to me. It’s a stranger, I don’t know it from Adam, let alone the owner.

“it’s ok, he’s friendly”
my answer
”I’m not”
”I teach the kids not to talk to strangers, and that includes dogs” 👍🏻

What a miserable life some people lead.

If this is true, and I encountered you on a walk, and your kids looked at my dog, and I said "he's friendly!" and you said "I'm not" I'd assume you had mental health issues and feel very sorry for your kids.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 09/04/2023 08:53

I'd assume you had mental health issues and feel very sorry for your kids.

maybe I do have mental health issues. Or scars from a childhood dog injury. Maybe your dog is friendly but you’re certainly a bastard. Someone said earlier how do we know humans don’t bite. Looks like they do…

I’ll change it just for you.
”it’s ok he’s friendly”
”owners a bit of a cunt tho”

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/04/2023 09:01

I hardly ever need telling. Since I’ve always liked dogs (and they can tell straight away) I very often say hello to them in a friendly way, and 99.9 times out of 100 they will instantly ‘smile’ and wag their tails.
Having said that, I wouldn’t approach any of the few breeds associated with thug-like owners, which are more likely to be aggressive anyway.

Changeau · 09/04/2023 09:03

Windbeneathmybingowings · 09/04/2023 08:53

I'd assume you had mental health issues and feel very sorry for your kids.

maybe I do have mental health issues. Or scars from a childhood dog injury. Maybe your dog is friendly but you’re certainly a bastard. Someone said earlier how do we know humans don’t bite. Looks like they do…

I’ll change it just for you.
”it’s ok he’s friendly”
”owners a bit of a cunt tho”

Yeah, that aggression is something you probably want to address.

QuintanaRoo · 09/04/2023 09:06

No, never. Because regardless of how friendly that dog is my dog is still terrified. It’s normally said when an off lead dog with no recall has charged up to my dog. Makes walks a really anxious time for her.

Original poster
lingle · 09/04/2023 10:04

Changeau - people just get tired of it. I go on a 15 minute walk before work each day, there’s a poorly controlled dog maybe once a week. About half the time its owners are mortified and then I am supportive and positive. The other half of the time we get excuses and the dog’s life story as a justification for failure to train it. It gets old. once a fortnight for 20 years adds up. You get to a point where you just think “train your dog/leave me alone/I am not interested in your dog-“parenting” problems, I don’t know you, I don’t trouble you with my inadequacies or blame them on you, why am I expected to pander to this in my own time?” etc.

It’s like a weird neediness/demand for approval.

OP posts:
Changeau · 09/04/2023 10:16

lingle · 09/04/2023 10:04

Changeau - people just get tired of it. I go on a 15 minute walk before work each day, there’s a poorly controlled dog maybe once a week. About half the time its owners are mortified and then I am supportive and positive. The other half of the time we get excuses and the dog’s life story as a justification for failure to train it. It gets old. once a fortnight for 20 years adds up. You get to a point where you just think “train your dog/leave me alone/I am not interested in your dog-“parenting” problems, I don’t know you, I don’t trouble you with my inadequacies or blame them on you, why am I expected to pander to this in my own time?” etc.

It’s like a weird neediness/demand for approval.

Fair enough

Original poster
lingle · 09/04/2023 10:17

Thankyou

OP posts:
CornishGem1975 · 09/04/2023 10:23

People are always quick to tell me that their dog is 'friendly' when it runs up to my toddler. I'm quick to say, 'that's nice but my son isn't'.

ThreePoodlesinaTrenchCoat · 09/04/2023 10:28

WeAllHaveWings · 09/04/2023 01:19

Our family collie when we were growing up did that too. He was a big soft lump with not an aggressive bone in his body, you can tell by their posture it is not aggressive. No one believed us either and I've never met another dog that does it yet, but if you google it is a thing.

Show quote history

Yes, dog smiling is a thing - often mistaken for teeth - baring, but is very different.

I have zero faith in anyone shouting about their dog being friendly - most people, including owners, are pretty hopeless at understanding dog body language and behaviour.

Original poster
lingle · 09/04/2023 10:50

The trouble with the retort “but I/my child am not [friendly]” is that it allows the bad dog owner to delude themself that they are not the problem.

I think “You haven’t got control of your dog” is better maybe?

OP posts:
Original poster
lingle · 09/04/2023 10:50

Good point

“most people, including owners, are pretty hopeless at understanding dog body language and behaviour.”

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 09/04/2023 11:27

Soubriquet · 08/04/2023 18:56

It depends. I’ve had to tell people my dog is friendly because when they approach her, she smiles.

Now to most people, it looks likes she’s growling but she isn’t. She’s smiling.

So I reassure people that yes, she’s friendly.

I remember once in a bookshop I patted a JRT who seemed friendly and he started growling although he was clearly enjoying the fuss. The owner said to take no notice of the growling, it was his way of being friendly!

KimberleyClark · 09/04/2023 11:28

ThreePoodlesinaTrenchCoat · 09/04/2023 10:28

Yes, dog smiling is a thing - often mistaken for teeth - baring, but is very different.

I have zero faith in anyone shouting about their dog being friendly - most people, including owners, are pretty hopeless at understanding dog body language and behaviour.

Show quote history

This. They bare their teeth to be ingratiating - smiling in other words. I love a smiley dog