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Original poster

Have you ever been pleased/relieved to be told a dog “is friendly”?

179 replies

lingle · 08/04/2023 18:52

Or to hear more about the dog’s age, training, “people who don’t like dogs” or that said dog is “just having fun”

I personally haven’t - it’s very annoying because I’m often thinking about work/solving a work problem, or getting away from the stresses/conflicts of everyday life when on a walk and if a dog needs to be called away I prefer the owner to just say “sorry” so I can say “no problem” and then we can each get on with our day.

of course the dog owner can curse my failure to embrace the chance to praise their dog/ask what breed it is afterwards - not on my time.

OP posts:
RedDirtWildChild · 08/04/2023 20:21

I do say ours are friendly sometimes if one of them is barking a lot. She is genuinely friendly but I’m aware barking, even her very small bark, can seem aggressive to some people.

Sailingaround · 08/04/2023 20:22

This makes me chuckle @lingle your thread title is asking if it ever reassured people and some dog owners are answering to say they tell people their dog is friendly. Umm ok…but do you know actually know if that reassures the person you are telling? 😂

personally it doesn't help me at all. many dogs who have bitten have never done so before, so owners are being far too confident to claim they’re friendly, they won’t bite etc . End of the day they’re unpredictable animals and we don’t really know what they will do.
I choose not to take a chance, so other people better keep their dogs away from me. Also it’s not just about being bitten. It’s simply gross sometimes 🤮 for example when dogs jump into others picnic. It’s happened to me once on a work picnic, a staffie stuck its nose in a large packet of crisps that we had to discard and the other time at the end of a lovely gathering in the park towards the end of lockdown a dog sniffed the picnic table when we were packing up. Thankfully there wasn’t any food left and the picnic was over.

If anything belonging to me be it clothes or food is ever ruined or contaminated by a dog I will be asking the owner to pay up. They need to start fining owners for unruly dogs.

Original poster
lingle · 08/04/2023 20:26

And in your mind, RedDirt, how is this information received?

”RedDirtWildChild · Today 20:21
I do say ours are friendly sometimes if one of them is barking a lot. She is genuinely friendly but I’m aware barking, even her very small bark, can seem aggressive to some people.”

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dogs
Orangebadger · 08/04/2023 20:26

When walking my dog, it's very obvious to me if someone wants to say hello to my dog or not. If not, she's kept away, if they gesture that they want to say hello, then I let her. I really am not bothered if someone doesn't want to greet my dog, I agree it's my job to get her moving along and away and leave them alone! I don't get this "my dog is friendly!"Isn't what I do what most dog owners do? Assuming their dog is trained or on a lead that is!

pickledandpuzzled · 08/04/2023 20:32

I explain my dog to children who don't know how to read dogs. A little one today complained to his mum that my dog (on lead) was staring at him. I explained he was just a bit nosy, and was probably wondering if the little boy had any treats. The child seemed quite reassured. The little ones especially will go into quite a long chat.

Sometimes I'll say that he'd really like to smell their wellies, to see where they've been. Once they understand what the dog wants to do, they tend to relax about it. Parents seem to like it. I only stop for people who look interested.

Original poster
lingle · 08/04/2023 20:33

If parents seem to like it you are doing something right I guess

OP posts:
RedDirtWildChild · 08/04/2023 20:34

lingle · 08/04/2023 20:26

And in your mind, RedDirt, how is this information received?

”RedDirtWildChild · Today 20:21
I do say ours are friendly sometimes if one of them is barking a lot. She is genuinely friendly but I’m aware barking, even her very small bark, can seem aggressive to some people.”

I don’t know you so no idea. 🤣

Many people choose to come over and fuss her though so some people must find it reassuring. They are ALWAYS on a lead in public places so they won’t be approaching you anyway.

Original poster
lingle · 08/04/2023 20:35

So Red, if you have no idea how your habit goes down with people why do it? Genuine question. It seems to annoy most people on here.

OP posts:
Original poster
lingle · 08/04/2023 20:36

But I get that if they are on a lead you are communicating control non-verbally. Maybe that makes a difference

OP posts:
NemoandDoris · 08/04/2023 20:46

My dog is friendly means nothing. It gets said whenever the dog is out of control. Every dog that has bitten me was ‘friendly’.

That dog that attacked the police horse in London the other week was just been friendly as well. Apparently she was just a bit nervous & intimidated by the horse. As was the dog that ripped apart the seal (Freddie?) by the Thames a couple of years ago.

I guess the dog which ripped apart and disembowelled 16 lambs, whilst they were still alive, near me was been friendly as well.

Reugny · 08/04/2023 20:46

Changeau · 08/04/2023 19:59

Most mumsnetters seem to hate dogs. I assume most dogs are friendly so don't need to be told. I'm perfectly happy to have a lovely pat of a friendly waggy doggo.

No we dislike the bad owners that have proliferated since the lockdowns.

I have been bitten by dogs but luckily I was an adult on all occasions and now can generally sense poor owners.

Unfortunately my DD was bitten by a dog when minding her own business. The owner's first excuse is that DD scared her dog by being on a scooter on the opposite part of the path to her dog with my DP in between them. The owner stopped trying to give that excuse when her dog then tried to attack another dog. Luckily the second owner has trained their dog and was also on the ball. This second owner has a dog my DP and DD had and still see regularly who minds his own business. Oh and her dog was a lockdown dog.

RedDirtWildChild · 08/04/2023 20:49

lingle · 08/04/2023 20:35

So Red, if you have no idea how your habit goes down with people why do it? Genuine question. It seems to annoy most people on here.

Mumsnet is like another world to my real life, that’s why.

Although I can’t know everyone, my years of walking with dogs has shown me that most people are happy to be told dogs are friendly as they fuss other people’s dogs and stop to make pleasant conversation.

Most people chat to us and our dogs on walks. I live in a very friendly place. If one of my dog barks, I’ll say she is friendly and then many, probably 90% of people, will ask to give her a fuss. She will roll over in the hope of getting a rub on the belly.

As I said, they’re always on leads so I they never get near anyone who doesn’t want them near. I can’t stop one of them barking at times, she is a rescue who was abused and certain things worry her due to that. Dogs are allowed in the outside world as much as you are. I am a responsible owner, there’s not much else to say. 😊

pickledandpuzzled · 08/04/2023 20:51

TheChosenTwo · 08/04/2023 19:32

I do find it reassuring personally, I’m not a dog person, I don’t trust them and prefer to keep my distance. They are unpredictable animals but I find it slightly reassuring when an owner calls out that their dog is friendly as it bounds up to me, it makes me less nervous that they’re going to take a chunk out of me! Not totally at ease but more comfortable.
I’d just prefer for dogs not to exist really because I think they should be free to run off lead - they’re animals and need exercise and freedom as much as we do but I just don’t like them and my kids are a bit like me in that they find them unpredictable (I guess because we aren’t dog people and never grew up around them so we don’t know their signs!), if they just weren’t here then none of these issues would occur!
(Joking slightly here, dogs have amazing purposes in specific circumstances!!)

This is why I explain my dog's behaviour to passers by who seem interested. They often wish they were more confident around dogs, or want their DC to be more confident. A bit of translating about what my dog is thinking seems to be very reassuring. They realise he's just a nosy optimist, checking no one needs jam washing off their face, or whether they have a dog he can play with. He's never quite reconciled himself to the fact that people feed bread to ducks, but not dogs.

Reugny · 08/04/2023 20:51

lingle · 08/04/2023 20:36

But I get that if they are on a lead you are communicating control non-verbally. Maybe that makes a difference

Not on long leads.

I've had idiot fucking owners tell me their dog on a long lead is nervous of runners and cyclists.

The paths are regular running and cycling routes so if you take your scared dog on them after 7:30am on a Saturday or Sunday morning in summer on a long lead then you are going to meet lots of runners and cyclists of all ages.

Original poster
lingle · 08/04/2023 20:52

Well if the dog is on a lead it can’t go running up to people. Do you move the dog if it is blocking the path of someone coming in the opposite direction and barking at them? Or do you announce the dog is friendly first?

OP posts:
Original poster
lingle · 08/04/2023 20:54

Long leads sound dangerous - don’t they retract?

OP posts:
Original poster
lingle · 08/04/2023 20:57

How do you judge whether someone “seems interested”? Isn’t it a bit like stopping a passer-by to explain how you chose your clothes? I tend to say good morning to people -would you see that as an invitation to tell me what your dog is thinking?

“This is why I explain my dog's behaviour to passers by who seem interested. They often wish they were more confident around dogs, or want their DC to be more confident. A bit of translating about what my dog is thinking seems to be very reassuring. They realise he's just a nosy optimist, checking no one needs jam washing off their face, or whether they have a dog he can play with. He's never quite reconciled himself to the fact that people feed bread to ducks, but not dogs.”

OP posts:
Reugny · 08/04/2023 20:58

lingle · 08/04/2023 20:54

Long leads sound dangerous - don’t they retract?

They do but unfortunately there is a certain type of owner who seems oblivious to what their dog is doing.

I should add I've been very impressed by the behaviour of more teenagers walking their dogs than older adults.

Original poster
lingle · 08/04/2023 20:59

That is true! Teenagers assume that you, like them, are thinking about your own life!

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 08/04/2023 21:04

There are two completely different scenarios here.

if you are in control of your dog on a lead and tell someone the dog is friendly, then the person knows it is ok to approach. The human has a choice to engage and you are watching your dog for signs to end the encounter. This is how things should happen. It isn’t just people who are protected here. The dog is protected in this scenario because if a dog gets scared and bites someone, the consequences can be dire.

most of us are talking about something entirely different. We are walking along and a dog comes bounding up and starts an interaction with us without our consent, often with the owner no where nearby. The hapless owner often shouts out from a distance that the dog is friendly. These are the interactions where the message is meaningless.

RedDirtWildChild · 08/04/2023 21:06

lingle · 08/04/2023 20:52

Well if the dog is on a lead it can’t go running up to people. Do you move the dog if it is blocking the path of someone coming in the opposite direction and barking at them? Or do you announce the dog is friendly first?

One of my dogs would move away. The one that barks, if there’s not much room on the road, I move her to one side, make the lead shorter by winding it round my hand and, get her to sit and try to get her to focus on me as instructed by our trainer. I then say she’s friendly. If they stop and ask to fuss her, I let them when she has gone quiet. If they just want to pass us, I make her keep sitting until they have. Sometimes she will stand and keep barking but she’s on that short lead with me standing between her and the other person and that’s as much as I can do.

Notegoat · 08/04/2023 21:09

I don’t think I’ve ever told someone my dog is friendly. It’s a daft thing to say. I’ve had other dog owners ask if mine’s ok before they introduce their dog because mine is often on lead and that’s good dog etiquette.

I have had someone say it to me recently. My dog was off lead (had gone off chasing squirrels) and a very large American Bulldog type dog ran up and put two paws up on me. The owner said it was very friendly. I kept my hands by my sides, sweet talked the dog in that ‘good boy’ tone but stayed completely still. I didn’t move until the owner finally approached and called it back. I didn’t say anything to the owner because there was no point. The dog wasn’t overtly aggressive but it was very hard to read, to me anyway, and very close to my face. I felt like it could go from 0 to biting me in a blink without passing through the usual warning stages.

roseopose · 08/04/2023 21:10

Couldn't give less of a shit if a dog owner perceives their pet to be 'friendly', I still don't want it jumping up at me or my toddler, neither am I interested in its life story. So no.

Original poster
lingle · 08/04/2023 21:12

Well I would have no issue with that Red, thanks for explaining.

ponderingwindow has summed it up really

OP posts:
pickledandpuzzled · 08/04/2023 21:13

Long leads are a menace.

I think the 'interested' signal tends to be body language. If someone's chatting or got ear buds in or looking away, they clearly aren't interested. If they are looking- often eyes flicking between me and the dog- I interpret that as wanting me to signal in some way what the dog is doing, so I do.
Sometimes they stand in front of him smiling and looking down, and I have to explain he's not really a people dog and is more interested in looking for other dogs.
Often the parents and child are talking about the dog in a 'don't get too close' or a 'look, he's smiling!' kind of way, so I might join in that chat.