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Original poster

What kind of granny will you be?

116 replies

lljkk · 08/04/2023 18:28

I'll be taking any grand children skating, wind-surfing & mountainbiking. I'll give them ice cream for tea. And you?

OP posts:
SisSuffragette · 08/04/2023 19:43

I'll offer to have my GC on a regular basis, maybe one night a week/fortnight. I'll take them to their Saturday morning swimming lessons. I'll take then for a hot chocolate as our special treat and go to all their assemblies/performances etc

PollyThePixie · 08/04/2023 19:43

Oh and I was a granny for the first time at 47. far later than my own mum who was a granny for the first time at 37. We both had children very young.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 08/04/2023 19:44

One who offers lots of practical and emotional support to their parents, lots of unconditional love to the kids and zero judgement. Just like my own mum. 💜

Riapia · 08/04/2023 19:45

I’ll be a typical MN granny.
On the morning after the child is born I’ll be there at 6.00 am.
I’ll snatch the baby from the mothers arms and take it away to care for it for the first month.
I’ll insist that the child calls me mom.

My DIL will have to run any decisions regarding the child’s future past me.
My DIL will of course not have a clue about parenting and have to rely solely on my expertise. After all I have brought her husband to be a wonderful partner for her.

Bluevelvetsofa · 08/04/2023 19:45

We had very little practical help from grandparents, so I always thought I’d be as helpful as I could. That was hampered by full time working when they were little, but I babysat frequently, took them out, had overnight stays, collected from school as time went on and had them for weekends and longer.

They’re old enough to look after themselves and I certainly wouldn’t do it now.

MeinKraft · 08/04/2023 19:48

I will be the kindly frumpy type who does lots of childcare and rarely shouts. My home will be their home too and my door will always be open. I'll probably be slightly dotty too.

Noicant · 08/04/2023 19:49

februarysunset · 08/04/2023 19:32

Hi mum! Lol.

My own DM has never lifted a finger to help me with my kids, despite badgering me for years to have them. It's been hard. I am going to be a hands-on granny.

Show quote history

LOL I promise to never badger DD into having kids, am happy to provide sweets/cash/unlimited foreboding moral tales.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 08/04/2023 19:52

I'll be taking them to Legoland.

If DD is hard up I'd like to take her and her family on holiday, babysit in the evening so she and dp can go out.

Noicant · 08/04/2023 19:52

Honestly I think I’ll be really bloody tired, I’m tired now in my 40’s. Would always be happy to see them definitely, will push my favourite books on them tell them how bloody naughty their mum was. But I doubt by that age I’ll have much energy for looking after small kids. I’ll be on the soggy granny crew.

ChocChipHandbag · 08/04/2023 19:57

fivetriangulartrees · 08/04/2023 19:03

I currently foresee two options:

If my kids have kids at the age we had them, I'll be pushing 90, infirm and jealous of the in-laws who can be hands-on with their grandchildren. I'll sit and watch them with a scowl on my face, eating their crisps and occasionally leaking wee on their settee. My kids' partners will resent Soggy Grandma coming round and I will cause arguments.

Alternatively I imagine DS1 (now 5) will get a girlfriend pregnant at 17 and I'll be the Cool But Useless Granny giving lots of advice and encouragement to the girlfriend, so her parents will hate me for acting all supportive when they really wanted her to terminate and go to university. I'll be too knackered and busy with teenage DS2 to do anything of much practical help but I imagine giving small handouts to the DIL, which she will use but feel slightly dirty about, and shouting at DS1 down the phone for failing to engage with his child.

I need to come up with some more optimistic fantasies.

Ha ha love this! I also had my son late in life so my only chance if involved grannyhood is for him to knock someone up in their teens!

KitKatLove · 08/04/2023 19:57

I have no expectations of being a grandmother. I haven’t ever asked my children (24&22) if they want children. If it happens I won’t be able to look after them due to a degenerative condition that I have. This is the first time I’ve realised that and now I’m struggling to see what I’m typing through my tears.

Oakyloaky · 08/04/2023 19:58

Am a grandma already, but am not anticipating that my sons will be parents for a long time. It will depend how DIL approach me as a MIL ..hopefully they will be lovely people who values all the family,MN appear to be anti MIL . Am fun and flexible
As a Grandma now ,I spend a lot of time with grandchild and very involved. Luckily my daughter is not too precious and values all the help I can give.

Abracadabra12345 · 08/04/2023 20:01

Aylestone · 08/04/2023 19:10

I’ll help out as much as I can. I won’t expect payment for childcare or babysitting. I’ll respect the parents wishes at all times. And I’ll never give ‘advice’ unless asked.

I love this. It reminds me of the things we promise before we become parents, like no sweets and never shouting, until you realise how tough it is with a 2 year and do both

Fortunately I am highly unlikely to become a grandparent so don't need to make resolutions I bet I'd break. But I'm sure you will be a great grandparent!

ChiChaNaYubi · 08/04/2023 20:05

I will hopefully be on a booze cruise in the Caribbean spending my divorce money and having wild sex with my toy boy, Carlos.

PetitPorpoise · 08/04/2023 20:31

I'll offer to babysit without waiting to be asked.

fivetriangulartrees · 08/04/2023 20:34

KitKatLove · 08/04/2023 19:57

I have no expectations of being a grandmother. I haven’t ever asked my children (24&22) if they want children. If it happens I won’t be able to look after them due to a degenerative condition that I have. This is the first time I’ve realised that and now I’m struggling to see what I’m typing through my tears.

I'm so sorry. 💐

saraclara · 08/04/2023 20:41

It reminds me of the things we promise before we become parents, like no sweets and never shouting, until you realise how tough it is with a 2 year and do both

Yep. I was about to post the same. I love how everyone's going to be perfect, not going to have any opinions, is always going to be available to babysit, will never offer advice, have tons of energy, never going to do anything without running it past the DIL/DD etc etc.

I'm a Grandma (probably a better one than I expected to be) but seriously, a lot of you are in cloud cuckoo land!

Megapint · 08/04/2023 20:44

When they are tiny I'll be around for emotional/ practical support but I'm not really up for child care duties. Once they hit school age & can do fun stuff I'm all in.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 08/04/2023 20:52

@saraclara not sure why you think these posts are unrealistic. My mum is grandma to 5 kids and manages all of the above. She was a great mum and that has translated easily into being a great grandmother. It’s not rocket science if you love your kids and want to support them.

Thelonelychicken · 08/04/2023 20:53

I can easily see myself taking over without meaning too. I do it with my babies now even when OH is dealing with it I tend to push him out. I'm working on this. I just can't stand to see a wee one's cry.

Will definitely put my foot in it with advice though. Will love to provide childcare whenever needed. hope to be a youngish granny. I had my 1st at 16 she's now 13 so I've some time yet

Snugglemonkey · 08/04/2023 21:29

I will be keen, but contain myself. Available for childcare and sleepovers as long as I am able. I won't give advice unless asked but will teach the GC things about flowers and grow things, bake and feed them. I will provide financial help hopefully. Neither of us ever had any, but we are saving to help DC and GC as we see how much easier life is when the bank of mum and dad have deposits for houses etc. I will do my best to provide that for DC.

ClaudiaCustard · 08/04/2023 21:33

Won't respect a single rule and will do my own thing with my grandchildren

Just like my mother did with my kids and she was the best grandma in the world 😀

LSSG · 08/04/2023 21:38

Noicant · 08/04/2023 18:50

If DD has them at the same age I had her I’ll be 76 and hopefully sitting in a nice comfy chair doing the crossword and not doing any childcare whatsoever.

Oh god me too, I'll be 73 (and let's not even talk about ds... Blush) Feel a bit sad now!

saraclara · 08/04/2023 21:43

DorotheaHomeAlone · 08/04/2023 20:52

@saraclara not sure why you think these posts are unrealistic. My mum is grandma to 5 kids and manages all of the above. She was a great mum and that has translated easily into being a great grandmother. It’s not rocket science if you love your kids and want to support them.

Of course some will be like that! But just as we all had a picture of what kind of mother we'd be (perfect!) when it comes to it, a lot of things we said we'd never do, we end up doing, because it turns it that it's not as easy as we think! And none of us knows the dynamic ahead (especially the mums of sons) to know for certain that they'll be the accepting and non-judgy grandparent they think they'll be..

Each recent generation has, on average, given birth at a later age than their own mothers. My grandma was 42 when she became a grandmother, my mum was 52 when she became a grandmother, I was 64.

It's easy to think you'll have the energy and patience to be super-grandma, but it does get harder. I had my DGD for an afternoon, a sleepover and the next day, and it took me a day to recover! I love having her and so far I've always said yes to casual babysitting and sleepovers. But she's only the first DGD. I hope I'll have the energy for the next one (I'm late 60s now) and any further ones too. But it's not a given.

And yes

blackheartsgirl · 08/04/2023 21:47

I already am a nan and I have dgd 5 over night once a week, take her on trips out, go camping etc

but I am a young nan, was just 41 when she was born and my youngest was 8.

I can’t see anymore grandchildren coming along soon so by the time they do I will be a little less energetic than I am now!