Public debate about the menopause-anyone else feel ambivalent?

[CurlewKate]

Obviously it's an important issue and it's good that it's being talked about. However women spent years fighting against the perception that we are "slaves to their hormones". Employers would be reluctant to employ women because, they claimed, their menstrual cycle made them unreliable. We had just more or less knocked that on the head and now the media is full of accounts of menopausal symptoms and how difficult some women find this time of their lives. I can't help feeling that this is not going to be good for women in general.

I agree.

When cosmetics companies are bringing out a new moisturizer for menopausal women you know the line's been crossed, the tills are going kerching kerching and the very people this whole thing was aimed at educating are rolling their eyes and going "fucking women and their special hormones". You only have to look at the threads on here in the last year or so. My nose is itching, is it peri? I had a bad hangover, must be peri. I've gone off gardening. Must be peri.
We are really really doing ourselves no favours.

(Age 57. Post menopause. Arthritic and creaky)

Yes I know what you mean. It’s potentially just another way to discriminate against women.

I'm absolutely sick of hearing about it and I preferred it when it wasn't so public. But that's me.

Yep.

I'm 48 so likely to hit menopause soon and I'm already bored of hearing about it before it's even started for me!

Awareness is one thing but it's gone beyond that now

What I agree on the one hand on the other there’s no way I’d have realised my seemingly disparate (and desperate) symptoms were hormone related - GP didn’t raise it and was being offered anti depressants which were no help.

The increased coverage has also helped DH when he felt he was living with a hysterical, hypochondriacal loon.

If we were just better educated (inc many HCPs) there would be less need for the media coverage. Sadly we’re not so there is

Awareness is one thing but it's gone beyond that now

This.

I’m through it now and luckily for me it just wasn’t that bad.

Women want access to the best advice and treatment, not to have discuss their hormones with every Tom, dick and harry.

I find the constant media attention and No7's menopause range pretty patronising

The whole prescription thing has actually gone too far for me. I have a debilitating chronic illness that has to have medication and there's no support for that.

It's all becoming far too bloody 'trendy' and public. I would imagine the vast majority of women just get on with it, like they've done with their periods for the preceding 30 years.

Just because women have got on with it doesn't mean they should continue to suffer (for those that do!). I think we need HRT and we need it to be easily available to those who opt for it. However having special leave days for periods and meno seem like a step too far. Employers have a bias to recruiting childbearing age women due to Mat leave. Now they will have a bias towards older women as well due to meno leave days! Why do we need this added discrimination when HRT can in fact solve the problem. Like everything else a balance is very much needed.

I dunno. I hate all the silence in the past, the hushed tones, the discomfort when talking about anything female related. Women didn't share things with younger women. My mother never told me she had fast labours for example. I would have found that information very handy and might have alerted me to that possibility.

Part of me likes the more open discussion about periods and menopause but I agree that someone is making money from it.

I don't think employers need anything additional to discriminate against women so don't think it will make any difference there.

Hmm I'm not sure about this.

How old are you OP?

The thing is I'm in my mid-fifties, as are a lot of my female colleagues and being as though we'll be in our late 60s before we'll be able to retire, I think it's really important that employers and male colleagues understand that the menopause can really fuck with your performance and memory.

Personally I've been lucky so far in that it hasn't affected me too negatively, but the same can't be said for some women I know.

Also, not every woman is able to take HRT, so it's not always the 'magic fix' some employers hope it might be.

I don’t think the messaging is going to prove helpful in the long term.

Once women are told to expect the worst from the menopause, it’s likely they’ll identify more severe symptoms. If you look for problems when it comes to you body and your health, then you will find them.

I've had a horrendous time with perimenopause and my GP was clueless and unhelpful as I'm fairly young. Anything that creates awareness can help women understand what's happening. It's very isolating to feel you're going quite mad.

We need the awareness without the negativity

I know what you mean, although I don't know what the answer is. I've seen first hand the affects of not knowing enough about it and the damage that can do, but find myself making preconceived judgements now.

I'm also absolutely terrified, it sounds fucking horrendous, I struggled with my hormones as a teen, now and especially post birth, I'm terrified I am going to lose myself. And no amount of awareness is making that fear better in my 30s, I worry I am not enjoying the moment worrying about the next stage.

The awareness campaigns have made me realise how little I know about it. And I'm almost 50. I mean I know the basics but I don't actually know if I should take HRT, and if so when, or if it depends on symptoms. I feel very unprepared.

I think it's probably good that it's something people aren't afraid to discuss anymore. Whether that will lead to more discrimination, I really don't know.

Well I'm not sure.

It wasn't long ago we were saying 'if men had periods they'd get 2 days off a month', 'if men had the menopause they'd get free HRT'.

Now that it's actually happening - we don't want it?

Really?

Having hit menopause in my late 30s, I welcome any awareness that helps GPS not try to fob us off with antidepressants because “you sound a bit down”… not sure about menopause awareness workshops at work though. Sounds like a step too far for me.

I mean the doctors, not the navigation systems

My life changed so much when I entered the menopause. No longer able to string a coherent sentence together. Or match my performance targets at work It's the weirdest decline. I started hey. Put on a shit ton of weight it many symptoms are under control. Sweats moods etc

I'm happy that others sail through it but mine is horrific

I agree, OP. Under the guise of liberating women the drive for menopause policies at work, cheap HRT, menopause-friendly products etc. is fundamentally a means of reiterating the narrative that women aren’t in control of themselves and can’t cope, poor dears. I am also struck by the readiness with which some women go on HRT- many 40/early 50somethings I know are all too ready to descry x or y as a symptom of the (peri)menopause and leap gaily on the hormonal bandwagon clinically unnecessarily. This is not to deny the more severe end of the spectrum and the intrusive symptoms some women experience which may warrant intervention. But night sweats, a bit of flooding, frequent bleeds and anger outbursts (I have all of these)? Woman up.

I feel the same. It's good to be aware but it's all I ever seem to hear.

Out for a meal tonight and all the others could talk about was hrt.

It's also a way to blame us/hormones for everything. People being annoying? Must be my hormones. No, they're just fucking annoying!

Was talking about this at work the other day (NHS so lots of women)..... I think it's going too far, medicalising it and scaring younger women like yourself of something which is a perfectly natural event that 'the majority' of women get through without any problems. It's a darn sight better than managing periods every month 👍