Anyone up for a ‘sort yourself out’ supportive encouraging thread?

[SpringOn]

Hi,
I’m 47, feeing old. I’ve very much lost my way with style, exercise, hair, you name it.
I need to:
lose two stone
decide what to do with my witchy mostly grey hair (I’ve been growing out dark brown dye for 10 months, decided to go grey, but I feel so old! Don’t know whether to go back to dye or stay grey).
mu wardrobe is a disaster. I have some decent smart work stuff but my casual clothes are basically lairy leggings and hoodies. I am a size 20.
My house needs a good clean and de clutter
I want to grow veg and have lovely flowers in the garden

Good bits:
I have a great husband, three fab kids and a job I love
I walk the dog for about 20 mins every day

Anyone want to join for self- improvement on an encouraging thread?

@Pineapples87 You are so welcome here. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling, MH stuff is so crap and can really take a while to resolve and get on top of. Well bloody done for hanging in there and I’m so glad you’re here in the thread 😁
What would you most like to start with? Let’s make a plan to help you feel like your old self!

@Unicorn34 Welcome! Sorry I missed your post earlier. How have you got on today?

I'm joining late but could do with supportive and encouraging folk to join in with.

I'm struggling with work - overthinking and lack of confidence means I'm failing and I need to be more confident and more decisive. Which is hard when your confidence has been severely knocked.

I need to lose weight, more so I can start running again. And eat less sugar, which is comfort eating because of my worry about work.

I'm exercising 3 times a week, for the last fortnight which is encouraging.

About to lose battery. Will return to support!

I'd love to join! I'm off out now but will be back with my contribution xx

@Hiddendoor Welcome! Well done on the exercising - that is a brilliant start. I find that being active really helps with worry too, helps me to keep things in perspective a bit. I’m also an over thinker, and it can be really hard when you’ve had your confidence knocked.
Have you got three non-negotiables that you’d like to achieve every day, for yourself?

@SpringOn I saw your post in S&B, the darker dress looks great on you, really flattering. And you don't look at all a size 20.

I think thus really highlights the importance of dressing to suite your shape. I'm 5ft 7 and a size 16. I look bloody awful , wearing clothes that are generally too small abd what I'd have chosen when I was a size 10.

Welcome @IHateLegDay . You sound like you might be a gym person! Maybe later you can give me some advice on strength training - I think it is supposed to be amazing for women our age but I don’t know where to start.

Hope I'm not too late to join!

I need to lose weight (ideally about 3 st but I'd be really happy with 2st TBH).
Keep up with skincare routine. I'm a bit intermittent with it... bad, very bad habit.
Do some regular exercise (to lose the weight but also get healthier generally).
Get out for a walk every day that I'm not ill. (Have a chronic illness but symptoms fluctuate). Done about 5 miles today, I'm usually a lot lazier.
Drink more water. Again, I'm too erratic with this.
Housework. I have a routine... in theory. In RL I have many, many dust bunnies.
Start using my IPL. Had to stop due to medication so I'm like a lady gorilla at present.
Sort out the kitchen table. It's become a dumping ground... again. We can't sit there to eat, & I have nowhere to use my sewing machine. Have made some progress today. Inadequate storage space is an issue though.
Read before bed & if I wake with insomnia (rather than skim the Internet). I've just got a Kindle for my birthday so I'm going to try to stick to that.
Improve sleep habits. Early to bed, early-ish to get up. Take 5HTP & valerian in the evening while I'm having a bad patch.
Start proper meal planning. I do for myself already but DH & DD won't eat half of it - they prefer beige processed junk, whereas I basically avoid all UPFs (except the occasional bit of chocolate).

@Bemyclementine I bet you don’t look awful as you think. I feel like I look awful in the darker dress - I think maybe we are all just too hard on ourselves! How was your day today? How is the decluttering going?

Welcome @MudLady ! Good username, are you dealing with a lot of mud due to others (I’m looking at you DCs with your football kits) or yourself?
That’s quite a list you have got there. Well done on today’s progress - is the table clear now? My youngest has a Lego habit so we quite often have Lego over half the table (and on the floor - ouch).
A water bottle helps me get my water in as I carry it round with me and it’s easy to keep track of what I have had. I’m with you on the meal planning - much more tricky with DCs but so helpful. Some things that have worked well for us are meals where they come in ‘bits’ and the kids can choose what they like and make themselves a plate. Like fajitas, salad nicoise or jacket spuds with lots of toppings and salad. What are your favourite meals? Be great to get some inspiration!

The decluttering is IMPOSSIBLE when I'm at home with the DC. They're 6 abd 7. I really struggle to get on when they're here, yet they're always here 🤣

So, badly!

@SpringOn
Thank you for the welcome!
The shower has already gone by the wayside as a friend phoned and I spent 30 mins speaking to her instead. Currently grabbing a quick cup of tea and snack before I head out to the service!

This sounds great Op. I am taking on board the clothes prep the night before tip.
Plan to get back on the food protocol, exercise every day.
Sort my wardrobe. Unwanteds to charity shop or textiles bank if beyond the pale! Have a book cull, prob to charity shop.
Plant perennials in my garden, less work, hopefully more fruit. Add border evergreens 🤗
New bras, new boots!
Finish paint jobs.
Start selling my artwork
About to be fifty nine, yikes, want to be more sorted before 60 and my third act.(Dm lived to over 90 so I want to be in best possible health in case I also have a long life!).
Make where I am the best it can be and if it still doesn't feel right, plan a move!
Thank you for being so inspiring and motivating! I was feeling a bit glum earlier.

Took my son and nephew to the cinema this afternoon and didn’t eat any sweets or popcorn!!! This is a MIRACLE!

DN wants fish and chips for dinner as he’s here for a sleepover so we have ordered takeaway and I’ve gone for grilled cod and vegetables and I’m actually looking forward to it!

@Villagetoraiseachild that is a brilliant list. Tell me more about your artwork - how great to have an artist in the gang! What’s first out of your list?
The wardrobe full / clear out feels important to me, though I haven’t got to it today. The feeling of opening a wardrobe or drawers knowing everything in there fits and that you have a choice of three or four outfits that make you look and feel good … well that’s what I am after! I did have that once before (1st professional job, pre-kids) but never since and the oldest is 14 now 😂

@Brewskipa Amazing and well done you! Grilled cod and veg sounds delicious too.
Take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back. What did you see at the cinema? Was it any good?

@SpringOn we saw Mario and I LOVED it. My 80s kid purist DP was not so keen 😂

If anyone is after an inspiring but gentle book to read, I found this one so good. The author charts the changes she made to her life having been diagnosed with ms.
It looks at physical decluttering ( I have tried her "just in case" box with clothes and it has made dealing with my moth problem so much easier as I have far fewer clothes out ) but also some of the other things that people on here have been talking about such as diet and exercise.

It isn't a bossy book though and helps you chart your own path rather than "you must follow these 10 steps".

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Soulful-Simplicity-Living-Less-Lead/dp/0143130684/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?adgrpid=57090515881&hvadid=259101408421&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9046612&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=4345236924549196780&hvtargid=kwd-338714383439&hydadcr=21639_1763690&keywords=soulful+simplicity&qid=1680888222&sr=8-1

Thanks @EducatingArti that book looks really good.
I also found one a few months ago that was really helpful during a tough patch. @Hiddendoor - it was really comforting and grounding - called ‘Kind words for unkind days’ by Jayne Hardy

I'm back!

Non negotiables for me:

1. walk for at least 20 minutes each day (on top of school run)
2. One less biscuit each day (currently 6)
3. Read the stoic email i get daily, as well as the coaching passage on The Fabulous app. I used to, but fell out of sync.

It looks like a lot of us are in the same boat - we know what to do but the getting started or keeping going is hard when the stuffing has been knocked out of us either by work, hormones or life.

Looking forward to spending time getting back to ourselves with you all!

I am totally here for this. I need to lose three stone - was aiming to start in January but it's now April and I'm still in the same place. I know what I need to do, but just keep sabotaging myself.

Welcome @Mybestusername
You’re in the right place! What works for you? I think we all know what the right things to do are, but as you say, actually doing them consistent f for long enough (for ever!) is the bit most of us find really hard!
what is your plan? What would you like to change to get to where you want to be?

Hi SpringOn,
Thanks for responding! Just back from a bike ride.
Always first for me is health, as had some ropey years with menopause and migraines from hell. As in life limitingly bad. Now over as I stay off tea and coffee and a few other triggering things.

I had my foods tested as well as vits and minerals and i get them rechecked every year and they are pretty similar each year bar a few adjustments.

Have had an evil week of croissants and full sugar jam and clotted cream and am climbing back on the wagon once the Easter indulgence is over. Every now and then I rebel, but I cant get away with it for long! So quality and less quantity as want to drop at least a stone.

So that and exercise every day.

Number two is declutter autumn winter clothes and put away.
Bring out spring and summer and declutter and arrange them enticingly so there's no panic if/when i go somewhere more dressy.
My plan is to have long lasting quality clothes in natural fabrics where practical, without spending silly $.

Art work is photography, some ink and wash portraits and crumbling cottages, then colourful abstracts. I have different phases!

Had better write my list out and stick on fridge to keep on board!
Thanks again.

Thanks for the welcome! Food is my main issue - I eat too much and snack way too often. I'll start with some menu planning and meal prepping to make healthy eating a bit easier. plus I need to build in some daily exercise, even if it's just a quick walk. I'm still working from home and it's too easy to stay seated all day eating biscuits!

Yes please I'll join you op!
I need to lose 3st.
HRT has helped my aching joints but made my boobs & tummy enormous!
Plan is to massively increase exercise. Eat low or complex carbs.
Hugely cut out alcohol.
I really need to do this and stop thinking about it!
Oh my job is stressful but am starting to retrain so really excited about that!
Hopefully a new leaf! 🍂🍃🍀