Sacrificing childrens education for dream home?

[CupEmpty]

Would appreciate some opinions on what people think is the right decision. We have 2 young children (toddler and baby). Not even in preschool yet! And are trying to buy our forever home/ long term home. We have stable jobs in an area and have done a lot of moving so are looking to settle down for a while.

we currently live in a grammar school catchment area. A house has come up 20 minutes away that could be our dream home, but outside the catchment for grammar. Options for secondary school would be the big town comprehensives which are currently not particularly great. There is a private school but this would be an immense stretch, not sure it’s doable.

do we make the move to this house knowing that secondary options aren’t as good? Look for a house in our current village (less likely to tick all the boxes/ more expensive/ could be waiting a long time) and have a smaller house in the hope they pass the 11+? Primary is well catered for in both villages.

Personally I care more about my children's future and want the best for them. It's just a house, I'd let it go.

We moved to catchment area of one of Scotland’s top schools and bought a house that was smaller than we could have bought in the city
Absolutely no regrets

Me and my husband are also top academic achievers. Two of our kids turned out to have learning disabilties. One is intelligent but prefers more trade type work. You can't assume your abilities will necessarily reflect in your children's abilities - or even interests.

I suggest focusing on what will give the children the best range of experiences. Not focusing everything on academic options. That's just one aspect of life. Your child may prefer music, art, sport, dance, trades, nature, to name a few. They should definitely be exposed to all the above so they can find their interests.

What makes the dream house the dream house?
Dreams change as families evolve and individuals' dreams change as well. So what is so special about the house?

I would opt for a nice enough home in the Grammar catchment. You will save a lot of money in future and the home, due to it's catchment position, will go up in value more reliably in terms of your investment.
If the kids do not attend Grammar then you can always move house later and your house will have been gaining value.

I'd focus on education and opportunities for the kids.

There will be other houses.

My grammar school was miles away from where we lived. Admission was by results not geography.

I would arm yourself with information right now. What are the selection criteria for in catchment and out of catchment? My ndn is thinking about grammar for their super bright child. We live out of catchment and have told me she needs a 90% pass grade to get in. I appreciate this could change.

I grew up in an area with selective schools. Students these days are bused in from miles and miles around. I was told by a woman (incidentally a secondary school teacher) I went to school with that parents, who can afford private school tend to go for private primary with a view to state grammar for secondary. Private school kids have an even bigger advantage as they don’t have to work towards year 6 sats. She sent her eldest from yr4 and the youngest a little younger.

A comprehensive education *in a good comp^ isn't a sacrifice. If classes are streamed then a pupil of grammar-type ability will still be stretched as much as if they were at a grammar.

An education in a grammar area isn't always the best. Obviously for the kids that don't get the grammar place, the "everyone else" schools are generally undesirable, and for some of the kids who pass the grammar exam, the additional pressure isn't a healthy environment. It depends so much on the specific kids and the specific schools that it's impossible to say.

Don't stretch yourself too thin for a perfect home - living too close to your affordability margin isn't comfortable. Go for something "good enough" and put a significant chunk of the difference between what you are paying for that and the maximum you could stretch to into savings. Then when senior school is actually on the horizon you can look at the available schools properly then. If your financial landscape has been kind you might find that private is affordable by then, if the local schools aren't acceptable. Or you might be able to move into the catchment of a better comp when your eldest is in y5. Or the local comp might be not too bad but your savings pot can be used for some additional tutoring in weaker subjects, or some additional extracurricular activities for enrichment.

I don’t believe in dream homes like you though my DH did and we moved abroad. I just feel that bricks and mortar will still be standing long after we are all dead and buried and for me personally I would stick with the school catchment area and find a suitable house in that area. DH and I will move back to our house abroad to retire but for me it’s more because of the weather, the outside pools, spas and activities in summer and winter on our doorstep. The house is just somewhere I lay my head at night to sleep.

@MrMarkham

My eldest is in one and as you know each school has a very different personality so it's what suits your child.

Just as the school you went too won't be replicated for her. I looked at loads of schools for dd and some grammar were not right for her at all.
Re passing the exam if its past the post you won't need to do much.
We didn't tutor, got wh Smith books, showed her nvr on u tube. I did put her into two mock exams that I paid for so she could get exam technique.

Her maths and English were all good enough.

With my second we had to put her into class's to gage where she is and whilst she's really bright she wasn't up to scratch on maths unfortunately and slightly behind on English.

The tutor was extremely thorough and totally unnecessary for my first dd to have had to do it all.

She didn't need it.

Second dd did but we stopped the classes when it became clear she couldn't get the maths.

First dd is thriving in the grammar. It's so much better than the comp she was in and they are proactive when she's struggling.

@Srin

Exactly.

They stream.

People don't realise how schools vary because they assume a base line.

As long as the comprehensive school has sets/streams, and as long as behavior is OK-ish, I'd opt for that rather than the 11-plus circus.

Labour's pledge is to improve education countrywide/create a level playing field.

The preservation of Grammar Schools and their status won't be very high on the Labour Party agenda.

A lot of comprehensives don’t set anymore and have mixed ability classes

From MN threads I would say not setting at all would be in the minority.
Most schools set at least for maths in y7, with more setting (or at least some streaming) as they go on up.

Catchments change all the time, as do schools and school policy.

Planning a life around a grammar school is a lot of pressure for little babies 😬. Even if they are intelligent it might not be the best place for them and you and your husband would have done well anywhere.

Is there a difference in entry requirements for catchment versus outside catchment? In our area out of catchment need a significantly higher score to get in.

My youngest is 10. He's just been diagnosed with ADHD and we've been told there is no way he will cope with mainstream secondary and to look at specialist schools for him. I had no inkling of this when he was at pre-school - you just don't know what the future holds.

Also, I was very intelligent and high achieving as a child, then my parents split up, I've been left with quite severe mental health problems which have impacted my life massively and no grammar school on earth could have overcome them. There's no way I'd lose a dream home over a school catchment area.

Plus the comment about your husband 'resenting the standard struggles of life with young children' set alarm bells ringing for me.

Another thing to consider... my friends 10 miles from me (in the grammar catchment) are chosing comprehensives over the grammar school as they are getting better results, the children are happier and the facilities better. Grammar doesn't necessarily mean a good school.

I would go for school over house but my eldest is nearly 7 so his personality/academic ability is clearer.

Mind you, we moved (partly for the schools) when he was a toddler.

My eldest was very clever. I was worried about our local comp followed by a Sixth Form at a Further Education Tertiary College. Got into Cambridge, no problem as did a number of the 'clever' children from his year group. My younger one was no where near as academic. Followed the same route. A taster day at Cambridge Uni was followed by a unusually low offer because of the his Tutor Reference and positive interview. He gained a first and had a brilliant experience.
Some of the comps in London achieve more Oxbridge offers than the top independent and grammar schools. There are plenty of threads on here from parents who feel aggrieved that Oxbridge appears to have a bias to state school pupils.
People tend to want to educate their children in the same way that they were educated. Which is absolutely fine. In the end most children achieve and do well regardless of the type of school they attend.

Move somewhere that has a good school. But bear in mind it's a few years before your DC's are secondary school age and ratings can change.I am not keen on grammar schools. A comprhensive in a good area is better IMHO.

its sounds as if it isn’t your dream at all. I think you need to be clear it isn’t