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Original poster

What do you think about this woman's style of parenting?

105 replies

Atealltheminieggs · 06/04/2023 07:33

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11942993/Im-strict-mother-parent-reported-social-services.html

I found this quite an interesting read. Hats off to her, she was divorced and then the 3 children list their father, meanwhile she's worked several jobs to pay the bills.

I'm nowhere near as strict as this and admit to doing some of the things she talks about. I actually drove an hour to deliver my sons forgotten sleeping bag (although he was much younger), I have allowed my youngest to sleep in my bed. I'm way more lax on screens and devices. Although I am very strict on other things such as doing chores, school attendance.

I will admit my eldest frustrates me with his laid back attitude to life (laziness) although he's bright capable and independent. My youngest is a sensitive worrier but very determined.

OP posts:
Quantumleaper · 06/04/2023 08:55

The kids look miserable in most of the pictures. I had a friend brought up like this, she is amazingly hardy! She came into work while having a mc. She finds it hard to show vulnerability and ended up having a burn out a couple of years ago.

cornflakegeneration · 06/04/2023 08:55

That and sending him to Rugby with a fever.

Oh yes I forgot this bit. I'm pretty sure it's quite dangerous to take part in contact sport (any sport?) with a fever. And also extremely cruel.

Feel like these kids will need some therapy when they grow up.

It would have helped her case somewhat if the photographer had got the kids to smile in the pictures 😂

MuffinToSeeHere · 06/04/2023 08:57

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 06/04/2023 08:29

No, that is not how I would ever want to parent. It is entirely possible to teach a child to take responsibility for themselves while also showing a bit of love and kindness when they fuck up. I'm also a fan of flexibility over rigidity any day.

The woman clearly thinks that she has got it right. It might be interesting to hear what her children think in a few years. And to know what kind of relationship they have with her after leaving home.

Agree with this. Her children are not adults yet and I'd be very interested to see how close they are to her as they get older and out from under her roof.

Some of her ideas are nothing new but some are down right cruel and she comes across as very uncaring. I doubt any of her children will follow her way should they have their own children.

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HeidiWhole · 06/04/2023 08:57

Came here to see if there was a thread on this!

Kids needs boundaries, yes, but some of that parenting borders on cruel, IMO.

Lovelyring · 06/04/2023 08:58

Agree with some but not on others. Very situation and child dependent imo.

For example, I'd fetch the sleeping bag for a kid who was generally responsible and where it was a one off. I might not if the child was repeatedly scatty and made no effort to take responsibility

I agree on screen time, I think reporting her to SS if that really was the reason is ridiculous.

Actually agree on the "second place isn't good enough" comment. She says further down that her son thrives on competition and it was said jokingly. But she wouldn't say such a thing to her daughter as it would demoralise her. I know both types of people myself - some do thrive by only accepting first place.

Lovelyring · 06/04/2023 08:59

Strongly disagree with a two year old self-soothing. I hate that phrase.

Newnamenewname109870 · 06/04/2023 08:59

Seriously? Kids make mistakes, teen forget things. If his mum is this strict there is no way he would’ve done it on purpose. He’s probably terrified and preoccupied with all the things he does ‘wrong’. Even if she thought it was the right approach she would still feel empathy for her son. She would still worry about him and feel guilt.
What a sad story. No way he’ll have a good relationship with her when he’s older.

Newnamenewname109870 · 06/04/2023 09:00

Lovelyring · 06/04/2023 08:59

Strongly disagree with a two year old self-soothing. I hate that phrase.

I know. It takes years to bloody learn that and most adults still can’t do it! That’s why they turn to alcohol, food, cuddling a partner, pet, whatever.

itssquidstella · 06/04/2023 09:01

She's full of shit - in the article she says that her sons attend a 'prestigious grammar school'. They're at NSB, which is an excellent school but fully comprehensive (used to be a grammar school but not since the 70s).

AbsoIutelyLovely · 06/04/2023 09:01

Body language says it all to me really. They don’t look like a happy bunch.

ichundich · 06/04/2023 09:02

Atealltheminieggs · 06/04/2023 07:33

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11942993/Im-strict-mother-parent-reported-social-services.html

I found this quite an interesting read. Hats off to her, she was divorced and then the 3 children list their father, meanwhile she's worked several jobs to pay the bills.

I'm nowhere near as strict as this and admit to doing some of the things she talks about. I actually drove an hour to deliver my sons forgotten sleeping bag (although he was much younger), I have allowed my youngest to sleep in my bed. I'm way more lax on screens and devices. Although I am very strict on other things such as doing chores, school attendance.

I will admit my eldest frustrates me with his laid back attitude to life (laziness) although he's bright capable and independent. My youngest is a sensitive worrier but very determined.

Sounds a bit made up to me. Typical DM shite.

Lelophants · 06/04/2023 09:02

Atealltheminieggs · 06/04/2023 08:17

Her son came second in a cross country race and she told him it wasn't good enough, and that nobody remembers who came second. It's difficult to see how this kind of comment is in any way helpful.

People with parents like that are miserable and have serious issues. Sure they might be successful but to what cost? Awful.

Some of this stuff is bordering on abuse it’s so sad.

itssquidstella · 06/04/2023 09:02

Oh and she's been selling herself to the papers for ages - she had articles in The Sun and Mirror last year about how she's working three jobs to pay for Christmas.

Luredbyapomegranate · 06/04/2023 09:03

Other than letting her kid sleep out without a sleeping bag (which I don’t believe for a second he did, the scouts would have had spares), it all sounds pretty normal. She’s saying she’s terribly terribly strict, but she is just at the stricter end. It’s just a puff piece.

Anycolouryoulike · 06/04/2023 09:03

She sounds awful. Strict parenting is not always good parenting. I doubt they ever go to her with any problems they have.

I would think there will be a lot of resentment towards her when her kids are adults.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 06/04/2023 09:07

That is very sad indeed @itssquidstella. Those poor children.

romdowa · 06/04/2023 09:08

As someone who was raised this way , trust me when I say it has left deep deep scars. I've spent thousands in therapy to try to come to terms with how cold and harsh my childhood was. No good ever comes from imposing adult lessons on to a child. They behave because they know she's not a safe place for them. What a rotten bitch to make her sick son play a match and to leave her child freeze with no sleeping bag. It's true children need to learn independence but it needs to be done in a kind and loving manner. Not just leaving them to sink or swim.

3WildOnes · 06/04/2023 09:10

There is no way that the scout leaders would have left a child without a sleeping bag. It's obviously not true!

Re the second place comment I think Pippa Middleton spoke about her mum making a similar comment.

HappinesDependsOnYou · 06/04/2023 09:10

I find it very sad she didn't let her 2 year old in her bed when her father died. Yes she may have independent children but I wonder what they feel for her

sweatynoob · 06/04/2023 09:12

Sleeping bag id have nipped to a local shop and got him one.

wingingit1987 · 06/04/2023 09:12

I feel like if some single mother on benefits was in a daily Mail article saying she left her child shivering all night, criticised them for not coming in first and sent them to school/football matches while still ill with a virus- people would call her a monster. Whereas this nutcase does it and she is being hailed as just wanting her children to be resilient and ambitious

she sounds horrible.

Anycolouryoulike · 06/04/2023 09:14

wingingit1987 · 06/04/2023 09:12

I feel like if some single mother on benefits was in a daily Mail article saying she left her child shivering all night, criticised them for not coming in first and sent them to school/football matches while still ill with a virus- people would call her a monster. Whereas this nutcase does it and she is being hailed as just wanting her children to be resilient and ambitious

she sounds horrible.

Exactly this.

cornflakegeneration · 06/04/2023 09:15

Very sad about their sister.

I truly hope this woman has allowed these children time to grieve all these losses and hasn't been using this "just get on with it" parenting to try and get them through it.

Thesearmsofmine · 06/04/2023 09:15

It sounds like a lod of crap to me, elements may be true but a scout leader wouldn’t accept a child without the right kit and a decent rugby coach wouldn’t allow an I’ll child to play. I couldn’t be bothered to read any further.