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Original poster

My mum's dying

121 replies

Mabelface · 06/04/2023 00:08

And I can't get there until tomorrow. It may be too late. I have to get a train. Getting older is shit.

I've been away for a few days, first time in years. I'm in a guest house not knowing what to do with myself. Everything's packed ready for me to get up and go in the morning. My big sis is with her, my little sis doesn't want to be there at the end and my brothers are on their way. She only got taken in today. Such a fucking shock and so fucking unfair.

OP posts:
vipersnest1 · 06/04/2023 00:12

So ask your older sister to tell her you love her, and that you will be there as soon as you can.
It's all you can do for now, so go to bed and go there in the morning. Flowers

TheCentreSlide · 06/04/2023 00:14

So sorry. Hope you get to see her before she dies. So unfair Flowers

ohfourfoxache · 06/04/2023 00:16

I’m so sorry, that’s really, really shit Sad

Thinking of you and offering a virtual handhold

bloodywhitecat · 06/04/2023 00:16

I am so sorry OP, can your sister facilitate a video call so you can tell your mum what you need to say? I hope she is peaceful.

FizzyWineAndCrisps · 06/04/2023 00:17

I’m so sorry to read this.
I hope you are able to get back in time 💐

Original poster
Mabelface · 06/04/2023 00:20

I've asked sis to tell mum I love her, that I've had a lovely holiday and am coming to see her tomorrow. I'm leaving here at 7.30 and it'll take couple of hours to get there.

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 06/04/2023 00:21

I hope you get to see her. No matter what happens, you both know you love each other Flowers

EmmaEmerald · 06/04/2023 00:22

And big hugs to you if you want them.

Original poster
Mabelface · 06/04/2023 00:22

We're not telling mum that she won't get better. Absolute DNR so she can just fall asleep peacefully.

Daft thing, I'm glad that I stopped smoking and she knew and was chuffed to bits.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mabelface · 06/04/2023 00:24

I'll want to see her even if I don't get there in time. Say goodbye. She's 81 this month. She said she wanted to live until she's 100.

After it's all done, then it's anger at the appalling medical care she's had.

My head's like spaghetti

OP posts:
OKFinally · 06/04/2023 00:26

When MIL who was in a hospice and started to fail, I drove there in a hurry, DH was in another country on business, we told her he was at the airport, he was on the flight, a driver had picked him, the M25 was clear they were close, he walked in and said I am here, he kissed her and whispered we all love you, you can go now if you want. She died twenty minutes later, we are convinced that she held on for him.

I hope you get there in time, ask you sibling to keep her updated with your progress.

I don’t often pray, 🙏but I am offering up a prayer for you all now.

Mydoghealsmyheart · 06/04/2023 00:27

I’m sorry that your mum hasn’t been treated well. That’s appalling and something you don’t need. I hope you can hold her and hug her tomorrow. I’m thinking of you and your family. 💐

Original poster
Mabelface · 06/04/2023 00:29

My siblings and I are keeping in constant touch. I'm particularly close to my sisters

OP posts:
Thedogscollar · 06/04/2023 00:34

@Mabelface
Hi OP I've been there it's awful. My brother and myself made it in time. We had to fly up to Scotland, it seemed like the longest journey of my life.
I 🙏 you make it but as pp have said you both know your love for each other but I understand totally your need to be there with your Mum, to hold her hand and just love her.

Growlybear83 · 06/04/2023 00:41

I'm so sorry. I'm sure tonight will seem endless for you and I hope that you get to your Mum in time and that she will pass peacefully. If you can't get back in time, I'm sure she will be comforted having your sister there and knowing how much you and your other siblings love her.

Original poster
Mabelface · 06/04/2023 00:48

Mum had a ct scan 6 weeks ago on the mass in her stomach. She still hadn't had the results when she was taken in today. Hospital found it had grown enormously in that time and gone septic. This is what's killing her. This is why the anger is bubbling underneath. No wonder she's felt poorly and had no fucking appetite.

OP posts:
OKFinally · 06/04/2023 06:39

I am thinking about you today.

Igmum · 06/04/2023 06:43

Praying for you all and sending love. I hope you make it in time, but it sounds like she knows you love her Flowers

GreyhoundGurl · 06/04/2023 06:51

I'm so sorry you've had appalling treatment. My nana had a chest x-ray around 2 months ago which was 'clear' - last week she was diagnosed with lung cancer that's spread to her liver. She's termunally poorly now. I hope you make it. She knows you love her whether you do or not x

Poppyblush · 06/04/2023 06:52

I hope you get to see her but it sounds like you’re close and she knows you love her. Take care

Doingmybest12 · 06/04/2023 07:05

I'm sorry OP. It is shit. I hope you make it in time to see her but I am sure she knows you love her etc so that she can go when she needs . Safe travel and take care on the way.

Original poster
Mabelface · 06/04/2023 08:35

She's still with us and I'm on my way. I'll be there in 2 hours.

OP posts:
Matchingcollarandcuffs · 06/04/2023 08:43

Praying for peace for all of you and an un impeded journey x

Original poster
Mabelface · 06/04/2023 09:07

Thank you for your support. Comforting words do help me not feel alone whilst I'm on my way there.

OP posts:
Growlybear83 · 06/04/2023 09:16

I'm glad to hear you're on your way and I'll be thinking of you on your journey. I hope you get there as quickly as possible. Losing your mum is one of the hardest things that can happen and I'm really sorry.

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