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Original poster

My mum's dying

121 replies

Mabelface · 06/04/2023 00:08

And I can't get there until tomorrow. It may be too late. I have to get a train. Getting older is shit.

I've been away for a few days, first time in years. I'm in a guest house not knowing what to do with myself. Everything's packed ready for me to get up and go in the morning. My big sis is with her, my little sis doesn't want to be there at the end and my brothers are on their way. She only got taken in today. Such a fucking shock and so fucking unfair.

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 08/04/2023 20:15

Just found this thread, I’m so glad you got to be with her and that she’s had lucid periods and knows you are there for her.
In the kindest way I hope it’s quick for everyone’s sakes, it’s a very difficult time, not knowing how to feel, not knowing what to do, just not knowing what to do with yourselves 💐

winewolfhowls · 08/04/2023 20:16

Thinking of you and your family

Mimi1980 · 08/04/2023 20:19

Thinking of you all Flowers

Original poster
Mabelface · 08/04/2023 22:12

Hello. I'm sitting in a comfy chair next to mum. She's now fully sedated. She's very peaceful and comfortable, and the agitation is only very slight, very occasionally. We're hoping she slips away tonight. We've all got our heads around it now.

Your kind words mean a lot thank you xx

OP posts:
WhiteBobbin · 08/04/2023 22:15

Another hand to hold and so glad you made it and had this time with her. You sound a lovely daughter

Thedogscollar · 08/04/2023 22:16

So glad you have had this time together. Treasure every last second.
I am so glad your mum is comfortable and peaceful.

Cannotthinkofanythingwitty · 09/04/2023 00:14

I hope she slips off peacefully surrounded by love ❤️

elodiesmith · 09/04/2023 05:23

Thinking of you and your family and your mum OP, she is very loved Flowers

Original poster
Mabelface · 09/04/2023 05:34

She's just been given another sedating drug on to of the others as she was obviously in pain. It's kicked in now thank goodness.

I don't think I've ever been so tired. Everything hurts from sleeping in strange positions. I'm so looking forward to a long, hot bath and my own bed. I'm living at the hospital with her whilst my siblings go backwards and forwards. I'm as stubborn as mum is and am not going to leave her just in case.

It's a funny world at the hospital. I speak to so many people with their own stories to tell and empathy is around in spades. I'm smoking again, but only whilst I'm here. It's a coping mechanism and a reason to go for a walk when I get a bit overwhelmed. They'll go again when I get home. I will, however have a very large drink when I get there. I'm looking forward to seeing my kids very very much and I'm even missing the cat, daft as that is.

OP posts:
CiaoBellisima · 09/04/2023 05:42

I hope your Mum has a peaceful passing. Have you told her she can go? Sometimes they wait, for various reasons.

Original poster
Mabelface · 09/04/2023 05:50

Yeah we have, she just seems to disagree right now. 😉 She's been nil by mouth and palliative for a few days so it can't be too much longer.

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 09/04/2023 06:49

My heart goes out to you. I hope your mum continues to be settled and pain free Flowers

Matchingcollarandcuffs · 09/04/2023 07:48

Just to warn you MIL lasted 11 days nil by mouth. But the hospital did ring to say when she was in her final hours so DH could be there.

She waited for everyone to leave her, as did my mum too, it gave me such comfort that even at the end they had some agency in it all.

Sending you much love

whodafucisalice · 10/04/2023 08:20

Thinking about you as you've had a long tiring weekend, sending hugs

LlynTegid · 10/04/2023 08:48

Thinking about you, and don't think it's daft to be missing the cat, who may (I hope) be missing you as well.

WitchDancer · 10/04/2023 11:28

Good morning Mabel, just checking in with you and letting you know we're all still here, virtually holding your hand Flowers

Original poster
Mabelface · 10/04/2023 23:26

Hi. We're now at end stages. Had a horrible moment today where she was choking on her own secretions, and she chose to wait until my siblings had gone home for a bit. She's still very rattly now, completely sedated but she just will not give in, despite being exhausted. All of us are here tonight, so fingers crossed she won't hang on for too much longer. She needs to let go now.

OP posts:
OKFinally · 10/04/2023 23:28

Sending love and strength and in the coming days be kind to yourself, you have a hard road ahead of you.

theluckiest · 10/04/2023 23:35

Hi Mabel,

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. It's a strange, awful, lonely time.

I was in your position last year. I wish you much love and strength. You are doing a wonderful thing - your mum will know you're there.

Be very kind to yourself and take care

Cannotthinkofanythingwitty · 11/04/2023 00:47

Sending much love and strength for the coming days. Your mum is surrounded by your love and hopefully will slip off peacefully 💐

Original poster
Mabelface · 11/04/2023 08:39

She passed peacefully at 6.30 this morning. My big sis and I were with her although she waited for the 10 minute window we were asleep, the bugger. I'm sat with her now and she looks beautiful. Thank you all for your support and thoughts xx

OP posts:
Bluemat · 11/04/2023 08:49

I'm so sorry

Newnameagainbecause · 11/04/2023 08:54

I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

Matchingcollarandcuffs · 11/04/2023 08:56

So sorry for your loss but I’m glad she’s at peace now x

Screwedupworld · 11/04/2023 09:01

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. Sending support and love to your family. I’m glad she’s are peace now for you x