The world has gone completely mad

[Hobnobswantshernameback]

So a Spanish actress has had a baby via a surrogate. The actress is in her late 60s
The child was conceived using her dead son's sperm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-65186636
I have no words

Surely this buy a baby racket needs to be more heavily regulated?

Interesting that people keep mentioning Morals, Ethics and Regulation. Once you allow human beings to be bought and sold you’ve kind of spunked the Morals and Ethics already.

I think that post kind of nails it
Once the genie is out of the bottle you really can't control it

Most people just don't buy human slaves, it's the behaviour of those who have no regard for others, they are so selfish and lacking in empathy it's all about them, hence I have never come across someone involved in human trafficking who isn't a narc, normal people just wouldn't consider this.

*A 68 year-old woman who might be unable to soothe and regulate her own emotions? / with her emotional needs unresolved? A woman who has created a new baby human being - whom she might expect to love her, and to look after her needs in her older age?

It's just an (uncomfortable) thought.*

This. Imagine the childhood this child is going to have with a mother that can’t self regulate her emotions. A parent’s job is to bring their children up to be independent and fully functioning adults. A child goes through several natural stages throughout life of separating gradually from their parents. What happens when the child born “so I will never be alone” starts to feel suffocated and wants to spread their wings?
You get patentification and co-dependency.
The child ends up being a carer and suppressing their own desires to placate a demanding parent. That or complete rebellion. What you don’t get is a healthy happy adult. (At least not without a ton of therapy to come to terms with their experiences)

I don’t know where he froze his sperm but it’s pretty much accepted practice before having chemo when you are younger, no matter where you are and whether you have a partner (he did) at that stage or not.

Other than that, I am in complete agreement.

Paid surrogacy is obviously an abhorrent concept. What do people feel about unpaid surrogacy? For example, if a couple were desperately unable to conceive even with IVF, and maybe someone's sister or good friends agrees to be the surrogate.

They would still retain the right to keep the child – maybe up till a certain point post-birth, if not permanently? Not sure.

This is a topic I haven't thought much/anything about as I didn't even know surrogacy was legal (in America) until recently, so I'm curious.

She created a child so she herself wouldn't be alone as she hasn't got family. She can't bear the idea of being alone without family.

But is likely to leave that child alone in the same sense much sooner than other children, due to her age. She can bear the idea of this child being alone without family.

Horrific and so, so selfish.

HalliwellManor · Yesterday 23:03
I am 46 and lost my 22 year old son to Cancer in November 2021,before he started chemo,he was advised to bank his sperm,which he did.He and his girlfriend had just been approved for IVF before he passed away.
If I had the opportunity to have a surrogate have his child then Yes,I would.I would love a grandchild by my deceased son and would raise that child as my grandchild.Just having part of him alive in this world would be amazing and that child would be so loved and cherished by every single member of my family.
As a bereaved mom,I can completely understand why she chose to do this”

very sorry for your loss. That is not what she did, though.

This is the image that's been doing the rounds - her leaving hospital. You'll all love this...

Is that the surrogate mother pushing the wheelchair?

no that's quite obviously a nurse in scrubs

I was being facetious, it obviously didn’t land. Apologies.

I was reading about an American celeb's surrogacy. She posted a picture of herself laid down in hospital robes hugging the literally newborn child as if she had just given birth to it herself.

Apparently in America they give the purchaser (not being snarky but no idea what they're called) the "childbirth" experience 🙄

Apart from the vanity of the "childbirth" experience, the key aim is to give the purchaser and the baby skin to skin contact as soon as the baby is newborn. Every second matters apparently.

It's heartbreaking for the surrogate, because they don't get any time to even hold the baby they just birthed.

I read that it's apparently also beneficial for health/allergies for the baby to have skin-to-skin contact with the surrogate afterwards, but not every purchaser agrees to that, and even if they do the time is monitored/strictly limited.

I know I'm responding to my own post lol but this is an interesting read about unpaid surrogates in the UK. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/21/surrogacy-in-the-uk

Waiting for everyone to turn up and say how great it is, as long as the buyer is happy...

I got you

I don’t get the issue of consent. How did she get around the fact her son couldn’t sign any forms?

Is it really just turn up and request it. Obviously it is but seems so unusual

Apart from the vanity of the "childbirth" experience, the key aim is to give the purchaser and the baby skin to skin contact as soon as the baby is newborn. Every second matters apparently.

It's heartbreaking for the surrogate, because they don't get any time to even hold the baby they just birthed.

Even more so for the baby, @glowyhighway - babies know who their mothers are, even when just born. They don't care at all about a genetic connection just then, they know their mother's smell and the sound of her voice.

(I'm all for putting the 'mother' back into 'surrogate mother'. A surrogate just means a replacement or a stand-in (people drank surrogate coffee during the war). It's all very well for surrogate mothers to exist but I think it's important not to downplay their role. And as I say, at birth the baby doesn't know the difference.)