Am I wrong in feeling that if you came across an older teenage girl unconscious on the pavement you should stop and help her?

[erikbloodaxe]

Because no one else wanted to help me help her and one woman even said her dog (she was walking it at the time) wouldn't want to wait.

If that had happened when I lived in London I would have called 999/for an ambulance (or check if anyone else has already done so) but I would not approach the person.

Because as a big city dweller you learn to be extra cautious once you have come across more than your fair share of people who are on the streets and have some serious issues with drugs/alcohol/mental health that might make them unpredictable and dangerous to others.

I would not know whether she was intoxicated, on drugs, hurt or had a health condition of some kind that had caused a fit so would let the professionals handle it.

I don't get why anyone would want to take pictures/film that though...

I now live in a small town and would probably react differently if I came across someone in that situation.

Appalling though that you were told that an ambulance would take that long. That's the real scandal and the fact that people who struggle with substance abuse/mental health/alcohol get so little support from services these days and end up in these extreme situations.

This is so sad OP.

I'm a first aider and have had to administer first aid to random members of the public 4 times in about 12 years.

Every single time there were too many people wanting to help out.

I would've left my DP where he was though and he would obviously have understood.

Lots of people stopped to stare. Not one single person helped

you hand out jobs in a command voice, which i have had to do on occasion. So "you in the yellow coat, call an ambulance" and "you with the red hat, stop people staring/filming"
you would be surprised how well that works.
I have done a LOT of first aid courses and this is what they teach you
first priority: don't put yourself or anyone else in danger
second: rope bystanders in, or coordinate helpers who volunteer

Yes, people need direction, they presume someone else will be doing it.

And hence why many won't stop to help.

At least 50% of the population because they are male.

They were in a street. They offered to help which is more than many did. Let's praise young people for their sense of community rather than judge them purely on their sex.

I seriously despair at attitudes sometimes.

Poor girl. You have to wonder what's going on in her life for her to get into that state. Glad you helped her OP.

Agree with the need to give actual direction, not every know whats needed and tbh sometimes to many helpers makes matters worse. I recently assisted a young woman that was having a siezure in a park, i saw her drop so while i had one hand under her head and wriggling out of my coat to put under her head i asked another lady to check her bag for any medical info while i checked for a braclet. The man insisting on putting her in the recovery position was not helping, i had to put down my phone on which i was trying to time the siezure to put my hand on her to stop him physically moving her.
I have less of a problem with people not stopping to help, ill yell at passersby to do xyz if i need to, but i have a huge issue with people that make situations worse or more dangerous eg talking photos, rubber necking, driving dangerously around those trying to assist at a scene etc

Good advice @Brefugee

People taking photos like that should be a criminal offence.

But tbh I can absolutely see why some people would not want to help someone who was drunk and stripping off.

Yes to this

Surely we should help anyone, regardless of age or sex, or at least alert authorities if we’re cautious?

It's a mix of perspectives at times

I am extremely glad I am not you

I’ve done this in the past and it has worked. Once when helping an elderly man who was passed out at his front door, and once when another elderly man slipped and hit his head getting off the bus. People were happy to help but needed direction.

There was one time I was uneasy about helping - there was a man who appeared drunk passed out at the bus stop. It was the middle of the night and I was alone. So I checked he was breathing then called the emergency number and stayed nearby until they attended. He might have been only drunk, but it could have been something else, so I wasn’t going to leave him that way. At the same time, I was a bit worried about helping a potentially unpredictable man on my own.

I always stop and help, if I’m the first person to encounter something. Usually some HCP will also stop but they then melt away when situation is calm (I guess because they have done their duty and need to avoid extra paperwork burdens) - also get a lot of teenagers willing to help.

If if there is already someone helping I will say ‘I’m only a first aider at work, but do you need anything’ meaning I can help if needed but equally not becoming part of a crowd, I don’t want to contribute to the person becoming a spectacle.

We are a family of helpers. So many times we have stopped to help or intervene when others just stand by. DH has jumped into a moving car to stop it, when the occupant had a heart attack. He intervened (physically) on a station platform when a young black lady was being abused by a mentally unstable man.

DD2, only tiny and young herself, intervened to help an Asian girl who was shouted at and pushed into the road, again by a mentally unstable woman. She was hit repeatedly by this woman, but saved the girl. She often stops to check on crying girls.

DD1 is always also stopping to check on crying girls. Just to make sure they are OK. She also stopped when s kadtly fell off her bicycle. Called a cab, and went with her to hospital.

Conversely, both girls have needed assistance, DD1 had an allergic reaction on a bus, got off and collapsed in the street, was ignored and laughed at. The bus driver drove off, and no-one helped. DD2 often has panic attacks, and no-one ever stops, just to ask if she is OK. It breaks my heart.

I have a heart condition which causes me to faint. Many years ago while I was on my way to uni, around 18-19 years old, I fainted outside the train station. I was literally lying on the pavement, my bag with uni stuff (laptop etc.) strewn all over the ground. It was 8am, morning peak so there were commuters everywhere.

People literally STEPPED OVER ME as I lay on the ground. I remember hearing people say ‘junkies’ which made me realise they’d thought I was an addict who had ODed. No one helped me, and I had to call a friend who came and picked me up.

I will never forget that day. It totally made me lose hope in humanity.

Some people will be very helpful until they realise the individual is drunk or drugged out of their brain. "It's self inflicted so why should I bother?"

We got this response once when we discovered an older chap lying in the shubs near where we were walking. Knocked on the door of the house and the guy who lived there said "another drunk! they always pass out there" and went to close the door. It was only when the OH said he thought the chap was dead (he wasn't) that the guy in the house sighed and said he'd phone the police. It seemed such an inconvenience to have someone potentially have died on his property.

Bloody hell, I'd stop if I saw anyone unconscious on the pavement. What the fuck is wrong with some people??

My husband has Ménière's disease and has had a few moments of extreme vertigo in public. Some people's reactions have been absolutely horrible - assuming he's a drunk, despite the fact that he can speak normally and is trying to explain the problem.

I've told this on here before but I was in a busy public place and, visibly heavily pregnant I fell down a flight of stairs. Not one person stopped to help as I lay in a heap at the bottom. I estimate 30 people stepped over or around me before I managed to get myself up.

I would like to think that I would always stop to help people and have done in the past, but I'll never forget that and I would never walk past someone who needed help.

That's an appalling thing to say. I have two teenage boys and they would be nothing but kind and compassionate in this situation.

You would be surprised what the general public will walk past . How about a teenage girl being sexually assaulted by a crowd of teenage boys in which an older gentleman walked past and ignored .

I’m amazed at the way some people behave in these circumstances.

I was on a train a few years ago and there was an older teen girl who had passed out completely drunk on the train. She was out cold, had been sick on herself, her handbag was open, phone on the floor, tights ripped.

She was SO vulnerable and possibly quite ill. People were just stepping around her, giving her looks but not doing anything, not a soul even bothering to check on her.

I was with one of my young children at the time, and on my way to a party, but couldn’t just leave her there. I missed my stop to check she was breathing, sit her up, and then eventually carry her off the train at the next stop to get help from the station staff. Nobody helped.

One of my teens is Type 1 diabetic and this frightens me so much. He could have a hypo and nobody would even bother to check on him 😥

My instinct is always to help BUT I'm very short sighted and don't really pay attention to my surroundings (I was once at a crossing and didn't notice the 2 men fighting on the floor until they bashed into my leg) so I might walk past without realising. I still feel awful about when a man punched a woman in the face right next to me and I carried on walking for about 30 yards before what happened sank in - fortunately she was already being helped and he'd been restrained but I'm so guilty that I went past. I did help some teenage girls who were cornered and being harangued and abused by one of those religious weirdos you find in city centres though so I'm not all bad.

Also this was in the 80's so walking on by is not a new thing .