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Original poster

Have we time travelled? To the 1950s?

62 replies

CurlewKate · 31/03/2023 12:41

So far on here today we've had someone saying their black friend is absolutely fine with white people wearing fake dreads as fancy dress (for a Jamaican person!) and a whole thread of people saying it's absolutely fine for men to call women they don't know "darling""love""babe" and assorted other endearments. Really?

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 31/03/2023 12:44

"it's absolutely fine for men to call women they don't know "darling""love""babe" and assorted other endearments. Really?"

Is it fine for women to call women they don't know darling or love? Is it OK for an adult to use it to a child?
If not, there are a lot of older women in customer service you'll have to ban from doing it.

I don't think it's right in an office environment.

Lovingitallnow · 31/03/2023 12:47

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hPR2crg2cXQ

Ian McKellan is fine with it.
I don't like terms of endearment in a working environment but I'm fine in an every day passing. I do it myself to people. I can understand how it would be grating if you're frustrated at someone or they're being patronising but really in those situations it's the person who's a pain in the arse not the term of endearment.

[WATCH] Sir Ian McKellen shares the simple way to bring close random people...

Ruben Rojas is a Los Angeles based artist, designer, speaker, and entrepreneur who uses art to inspire others to see through the lens of LOVE.Live Through Lo...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hPR2crg2cXQ

Thelnebriati · 31/03/2023 12:47

You just have to keep reminding yourself that not everyone here is a) nice or b) genuine and keep scrolling.

Dillydollydingdong · 31/03/2023 12:49

Why shouldn't a white person wear fake dreads? Black people have their hair straightened and bleach their skin lighter. So what? There's nothing wrong with that either.
And for people to call each other "dear" "darling" and "love" - it's meant kindly, to be friendly. You're a bit frosty aren't you? Lighten up, ffs.

Orangesandlemons77 · 31/03/2023 12:50

DH likes it if he gets called love, better than some things I can think of.I was called duck once up north, that was my favourite one.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 31/03/2023 12:50

I agree with you re the fancy dress thread, it's awful.

But I can't say I care if tradesmen call me "love" or "darling". I don't feel patronised by it. Where I live now, they're just as likely to call me "duck", which I actually rather like. Grin

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 31/03/2023 12:51

@Orangesandlemons77 cross post. Grin

Mycathatesmecuddling · 31/03/2023 12:54

CurlewKate · 31/03/2023 12:41

So far on here today we've had someone saying their black friend is absolutely fine with white people wearing fake dreads as fancy dress (for a Jamaican person!) and a whole thread of people saying it's absolutely fine for men to call women they don't know "darling""love""babe" and assorted other endearments. Really?

I don't have an issue with regional words that are used for either sex, like hen, duck, love, cock etc in various parts of the country (although the first time I got called cock I was a bit suprised)

If they are used indiscriminately that that's just a nice regional variation.

On the other hand if someone is calling women darling and men sir as someone described experiencing on that thread that that would irritate me, so it depends on the situation.

Lovingitallnow · 31/03/2023 12:54

I need to know more about duck. Is it the same as chick? Is it universal? Someone on the other thread said duk and I panicked. Not English but I think I'd like to adopt it. I use love a fair bit so can I just swop in duck?

pncr · 31/03/2023 12:55

This is a tatts

massivenamechnage · 31/03/2023 12:58

Lovingitallnow · 31/03/2023 12:54

I need to know more about duck. Is it the same as chick? Is it universal? Someone on the other thread said duk and I panicked. Not English but I think I'd like to adopt it. I use love a fair bit so can I just swop in duck?

Me Duck
Shortened to Duck in the Midlands

Love is very London. As is Darling. The man and lady in my local cafe both call be love and darling. I am not offended in any way.

LakeTiticaca · 31/03/2023 13:02

That person's black friend is perfectly entitled to not be offended by someone wearing a rasta wig, or are we policing people's thoughts now?.
Oh.....wait

Fremdschämen · 31/03/2023 13:02

massivenamechnage · 31/03/2023 12:58

Me Duck
Shortened to Duck in the Midlands

Love is very London. As is Darling. The man and lady in my local cafe both call be love and darling. I am not offended in any way.

Show quote history

And "duckie". My late mum (Midlands) used to call me "duckie".

User639762456 · 31/03/2023 13:04

I live in Northants and M'duck or Me duck used to be quite common especially among older people, said by women and men, don't hear it much at all now.

User639762456 · 31/03/2023 13:05

I never said it but my mum did

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 31/03/2023 13:05

Don't forget no red carpet ordered for a dh who is to turn 39....

kimberleybimberley · 31/03/2023 13:06

I don't know why people will just decide to waste their time reading my comment when clearly I have nothing to say.
And this person is still reading it

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 31/03/2023 13:07

Mycathatesmecuddling · 31/03/2023 12:54

I don't have an issue with regional words that are used for either sex, like hen, duck, love, cock etc in various parts of the country (although the first time I got called cock I was a bit suprised)

If they are used indiscriminately that that's just a nice regional variation.

On the other hand if someone is calling women darling and men sir as someone described experiencing on that thread that that would irritate me, so it depends on the situation.

Show quote history

I don't think a tradesperson has ever called my DH "sir". They generally call him "mate".

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 31/03/2023 13:15

Bet you're fun at parties

Original poster
CurlewKate · 31/03/2023 13:18

Yay! I've been told to "lighten up"! A couple of "fun sponges" and a "man hater" and I'll be happy.

OP posts:
Original poster
CurlewKate · 31/03/2023 13:19

@Gwenhwyfar It's all about power balance.

OP posts:
almostwarm · 31/03/2023 13:31

I'd take duck, the local word for me is hen.

lljkk · 31/03/2023 13:43

Statement of fact: there is a LOT of man-hating on MN. It's tiresome & seemingly constant.

Which relationships DON'T have potential power imbalance? Name me one.

Eyerollcentral · 31/03/2023 14:07

Fgs @CurlewKate if you think these are major indicators of people being racist or regressive in terms of their views on men and women, quite frankly you are detached from the realities of the world. This obsession with the minutiae of the language that people use does absolutely nothing to resolve the ongoing inequities that actually effect people in their daily lives.

AJ2009 · 31/03/2023 14:10

Local to me is 'cock' or 'cocka'

Not offensive at all.

I call everyone love. Would be very hard to stop though