How bad is this . . .

[onefinemess]

I've done nothing for DH birthday.

He's 39 on Sunday, and I've literally done nothing. No idea why, been busy with work, but nothing out of the ordinary. I told him last night that I hadn't done/bought/arranged anything, and said "just tell me what you want and I'll get it". He didn't say much, just replied that he would have a think about it.

For context, last year for my 40th he arranged a surprise trip to Dublin (I love Ireland), four nights in a suite in a very expensive hotel, sightseeing, pubs, shopping etc. For Christmas he gave me a replacment engagment ring (mine has worn out after 11 years), I know it cost around 2k.

How bad is it that I've not got him anything?

I have in the past, just I'm not good with presents and I did mean to get him something, just sort of slipped my mind really.

I've messed up haven't I?

Is it really bad to just ask someone what they want rather than getting something myself?

Surely the equivalent to your 40th last year will be his 40th next year? Or, what did he do for your 39th?

.

Book a city break on Eurostar for a date in the future, print off the booking confirmation and pop it in a birthday card - voilà!

Don't do nothing fgs!

"I have never been great with presents, always got something but never actually CBA before."

If that's a new thing for you, is there anything going on with the two of you that would see him at the bottom of the priorities, or are you generally happy together?

"I haven't forgotten, I am going to book something amazing as soon as I know what you would like to do"
This in your head is the best version of what you said, but really it’s crap too isn’t it? Because A) you’ve still left it to the last minute and B) you’re putting the onus on him to tell you what to sort.

Well you had 364 days to sort something out

What stopped you booking a meal/cinema/day out without telling him anything?