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Original poster

When would you be comfortable letting your baby spend the night at their grandchild?

91 replies

runsense · 29/03/2023 15:48

At what age?

If you visited them from another city and stayed in a hotel, would you be okay with your baby staying there overnight or would you like him/her with you at the hotel?

OP posts:
Flibbyjibby · 29/03/2023 17:06

I’m going to a wedding (overnight) at the end of April when my son will be 7 1/2 months and daughter 2 years. They will be staying with grandparents overnight (son for the first time, daughter has stayed there twice since she was 7/8 mo.)

But my parents live around the corner and we see them at least twice a week.

GotABeatForYouMama · 29/03/2023 17:08

DD was 5 months when she had her first sleep-over and my parent's house.

Soontobe60 · 29/03/2023 17:09

I had my DGS overnight at 4 months, then my DGD from 5 months. They sleep over regularly, at least once a month. They both love sleepovers and have been to all their grandparents from being tiny.

Time4achangeagain · 29/03/2023 17:09

on the scenario you’ve described I don’t think my children would have been ready until at least 4 years old. Different if they saw the grandparents more regularly. Also, I found my children always found it much easier to leave me than the other way round. Meaning, the fun relative comes to my house to pick the children off and they head out all excited and happy. If I’d taken them to fun relatives house and then left ten, they’d have found that harder when small

Rollerpiggy · 29/03/2023 17:11

My kids have stayed at grandparents at about 4/5 years old but not before. They get upset and would scream and cry if I was not there for bedtime, so it would have been distressing for them.

bloodywhitecat · 29/03/2023 17:13

My MIL had mine from quite early on, around 6 months I think. I would never leave a child with my mother, especially not overnight.

HowcanIhelp123 · 29/03/2023 17:21

@runsense Sorry but I'm confused as to why you'd be staying in a hotel but they have room for baby? Surely they either have room for all of you to stay or none of you? 😂

If you don't feel comfortable then it isn't time yet. Especially if you don't see them often due to distance.

LetticeProtheroe · 29/03/2023 17:27

My child is 4 and has never slept over. We only see grandparents every 3 months so they don't really know her very well. I imagine she might want to in a few years but definitely not yet.

I can't imagine leaving a baby with someone they essentially don't know over night except in an emergency. It's completely different than a grandparent who sees them several times a week.

Poppymil · 29/03/2023 17:30

My DD first staying with my mum overnight at 2 months but she saw her every day I lived 2 mins away, she was absolutely fine but I know a lot of people will say that's too early but each child is different, DD is now 13mo and while I now live with my mum I wouldn't let her stay with anyone else as she's going through separation anxiety at the min where she won't even sleep in my mums bed but that could just be because she knows I'm still in the house x

dooneyousmugelf · 29/03/2023 17:31

Mine have been sleeping over at GPs from about the age of maybe 7 months? It's a regular occurrence (which I thank my lucky stars for 😂- bloody love their GPs)

Original poster
runsense · 29/03/2023 17:33

HowcanIhelp123 · 29/03/2023 17:21

@runsense Sorry but I'm confused as to why you'd be staying in a hotel but they have room for baby? Surely they either have room for all of you to stay or none of you? 😂

If you don't feel comfortable then it isn't time yet. Especially if you don't see them often due to distance.

Sorry for the confusion, they'd want the baby to stay in their room

OP posts:
ShippingNews · 29/03/2023 17:36

I wouldn't, and I'm the grandmother in this scenario. DGD is turning 1 this week. I babysit one day a week so she knows me well. But by the end of the day she gets grizzly and really needs Mum or Dad. Overnight would be just too long ! Don't do it .

mumto2teenagers · 29/03/2023 17:36

I left DD2 with my Mum and Dad when she was 10 weeks old for a night.

My Mum was a childminder at the time and I trusted her completely.

NicknameTaker · 29/03/2023 17:40

Mine were about 6 months with my mum and probably around the same maybe a bit older with my Mil.
I’ve also had my Dn stay over with me from about 3 months and have her at least once a month she’s is almost 2.

What felt ok with me won’t feel the same for you.

shivawn · 29/03/2023 17:41

9 months old. We had a wedding so that was his first time staying over. He's stayed with them a few times since then.

He has seen my parents most days since birth so knows them really well and absolutely loves them.

gemloving · 29/03/2023 17:44

For me it was when they no longer required to have any night feeds.

theysaiditgetseasier · 29/03/2023 17:49

I trusted my mum 100% so from day 1 for me, although think it was 3 weeks when my mum actually first had her overnight

Blossomtoes · 29/03/2023 17:50

Mine was five months when he first stayed with my mum while I went to a festival. MN will obviously be horrified!

massivesalads · 29/03/2023 17:52

I don't think there's a one size fits all answer

When you feel like your child is ready and you feel comfortable.
Could be 12 months could be 3 years old!

gogohmm · 29/03/2023 17:54

My mum had dd1 overnight at 6 months. I trust her more than I trust myself - not all grandparents are created equal.

My dd is already tapping me up for babysitting and she's not even pregnant Grin

Soontobemumof2x · 29/03/2023 17:55

I’m going against the grain here, when my DD was born, my MIL came over all the time and then would take her out for an hour here and there.

then at 3 months she spent the night whilst we had a wedding.

obviously I was anxiety ridden the entire night but I trust her with my life and she’s amazing!

go at your own pace.

however, how she’s slightly older it’s a different story. My sister lives in a different city and I don’t feel comfortable with my DD going to spend the night. I’ll wait until she’s much older.

MIL only lives along the road so big difference.

x

roseopose · 29/03/2023 17:57

Pebblesbeach · 29/03/2023 15:51

For me, when my child is old enough to ask to stay over.

Me too. There's no set age you 'should' leave them. IMO plenty of time for sleepovers when my child can talk, take themselves to the loo etc. My SIL and BIL will leave their 2 year old overnight with grandparents who they see once a month if that but I personally wouldn't be comfortable with that. I left DD 18 months sleeping at my mums who she knows really well and popped to meet a friend, she woke up hysterical that I wasn't there. Wouldn't risk it again!

bellsandwhistles333 · 29/03/2023 18:02

My baby stayed over with my dad and step mum at 8/9 months for a few odd night more regular when he was 2+

Same with my mum

Borninthe70s · 29/03/2023 18:07

My husband and I look after our granddaughter about once a month. She is nearly seven months old and we’ve done so since she was about three months. My son and his gf live a couple of miles away and we all think it’s healthy for everyone 😀

PracticallyFlooredZero · 29/03/2023 18:07

Old enough to ask to stay over. We live a few hours away from grandparents and see them maybe 3 or 4 times a year. Children (5, 4 and 11 months) have a good relationship with them when we see them but I’d not want them to stay over yet. 5 year old might be ok but 4 year old would probably be very upset if he woke up and we weren’t there. Definitely wouldn’t leave my baby for a sleepover.

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