When would you be comfortable letting your baby spend the night at their grandchild?

[runsense]

At what age?

If you visited them from another city and stayed in a hotel, would you be okay with your baby staying there overnight or would you like him/her with you at the hotel?

Mine was nine months but it was largely out of necessity as we had to go to Venice for work for a few days. I trust my mum and dad though so wasn't at all worried about leaving my son in their care. They also had my auntie visiting at the time and she helped out a lot too. My little boy was spoilt 😂

We’re very close to ours so around two years. But it hasn’t happened yet 😂

I used to do this every time we visited ‘home’ when we lived abroad. Mostly out if necessity as I was stretching a shitty American holiday allowance so needed my mum to look after DD whilst I put in some face time at the office, and we’d always do an overnight too, since the London hotel was funded and it was a treat to have a night off. DD would have been 12 months the first time we did it, she saw my parents every 6 months on average and it was great. She was happy to be left, it helped my mum forgive us for moving away ha and we got a break. Don’t do it if you don’t want to though!

We see grandparents every week and both of my kids had their first sleepovers at around 15 months. By then they were good sleepers and eaters and could communicate basic needs/wants.

If a parent is there then fine, but your situation and the lady visiting her mum is a completely different kettle of fish isn't it.

When under the same roof and they ask if the baby can sleep in the same as them we're okay with it. It was okay when he was tiny but we stopped during separation anxiety because he wanted to sleep with his dad and I. I'm not sure if he would still have it at 11/12 months but I just don't feel comfortable myself for overnights without me there

because my husband would be with me too

That is fair enough!

About age 5 - a little before they could go on sleepovers to friends' houses.

I don't understand the rush to leave babies and toddlers overnight with relatives

Mine is 2.5 and hasn't slept over at grandparents. Grandparents sleep over at our house on occasion so they can babysit while my DH and I to go out for dinner, but always after we've already done bedtime. They're not spring chickens and I don't think it's fair on them because of their age and limitations in terms of health. But that's my child's grandparents - yours may be different!

Toddler has had one sleepover with auntie and uncle at their house for one night, just as they turned 2 (auntie and uncle have small children themselves) so DH and I could celebrate a big anniversary.

Otherwise, sleepovers will happen when child can ask.

I would’ve been fine around 5-6 months with my parents, maybe slightly later with my in laws and definitely at 1 year. BUT my DC slept through the night very early, went to bed with no fuss, had no issue staying with new people at any age and my parents listen to us about routine etc. DH’s parents are great, but older and didn’t listen to us the few times they have watched DC about things like how much food to give, which resulted in a very hungry DC.

it really does depend on the child and the grandparents. My parents were too old and couldn’t have coped, so it was never an option to have the children overnight or even for a few hours.

You know your child best. I’m sure some would be happy to stay at that age. Ime, most wouldn’t and would get upset when the parent left, even if they weren’t going far (but they don’t know that). At the same time, you know that they will be fine and are in good hands (probably!). I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say you’d rather wait until they’re older though.

If I were in your circumstances, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. It’s unnecessary anyway.
We see the ILs every week, either together or separately at least twice, my son is very close to them and loves them very much and he is older at 18 months and I still haven’t really felt that keen for him to have a sleepover yet!

I've never had my youngest DGC to stay and they're nearly 4!

My eldest was left overnight at 4 months when my husband and I went on a 2 night city break. He had seen my mum almost every day since he was born. He was happy, barely noticed we were gone. My youngest was 7 months by the time he was left overnight but just purely due to our plans. May have been earlier if not due to COVID. Our third now is 10 weeks and my first time away overnight is this weekend. However my experience is personal to how comfortable I am being away overnight, how I completely trust my mum to care for them as I would and because none of my littles were clingy at the times I left them. If you aren't ready until your child is 12 then that's up to you. There is no 'normal' age to leave them it's just when it's right for you.

I mean I left my daughter from 8months old overnight and weekends and about to leave her for a week with grandparents!! (She's 2) guess everyone is different.

My eldest stayed over at 1year old. She saw them every week as they watched her one day while I worked. She was a gd sleeper too. I wldnt be comfortable if baby only saw them every few months as they wouldn't know them.

Youngest didn't stay out until she was 2 and wasn't a great sleeper. My parents had to be persuaded lol but she did stay every week. Wld still be up in the night with them though it was only at 3 that she started sleeping properly (still wakes a few times but mainly bk to sleep with a cuddle).

I wouldn’t ask for my grandchild to spend a night apart from their parents until they could communicate verbally, although if I was asked to have them I’d oblige. But I do see them more than 6-8 days throughout a year.

My little one has this sort of relationship with my parents and I wouldn’t consider it at that age tbh. Mine is 19 months and definitely doesn’t “know” them well enough to be comforted by them if they woke in the night.

She slept overnight about that she at my MILs though without issue but she sees her weekly has a fantastic relationship etc

Mine was about 4 or 5 months old, stayed with grandparents (my mum & dad) while we went on holiday for a week. All was well.

My older dc were at least 3 and out of nappies during the night when they slept at my dm's a couple of times.. Younger dc was 7! His choice as he kept wanting to come home! Never felt I needed to pacify people who have already had their dc tbh. I sleep better with my dc under my roof.
Can't imagine any hotel guests being appreciative of a baby sleeping over at all!

I left DD with my parents at around 7 months. She was sleeping through or only waking up once a night for a dream feed. She’d seen my mum on a weekly basis. We have DS now and suspect we will do the same at around 8 months time for him.

We asked mil if she'd have the kids over night so we could go away for our wedding anniversary (tea time until breakfast time). They would have been nearly 2 and nearly 4. She said no. Younger than that, we'd not have asked.

From around four or five months I think. My mother in law lives around the corner and was so so involved and helpful when both mine were little and they have a great relationship with her now they are teenagers. I wouldn’t have asked my own mum or either of our dads though so I suppose it depends on the kind of relationship you have.

Yep.
Please don’t let anyone make you feel mean or unreasonable if you say no. It’s your baby not theirs.