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Original poster

Does anyone else remember so little about their life?

126 replies

Woodywasatwat · 28/03/2023 14:02

It worries me sometimes.

I have hardly any memories especially of childhood.

An old school friend is currently cleaning out her parents loft and is tagging me in a sorts of childhood photos, things that look like school events and trips, plays.

I’m there, sometimes dressed up in costumes but I have no memory of the event at all. It could be someone else.

I have this all the time. Cleaning out my loft once I found old tickets for gigs. I saw Blur and Greenday in the 90s - cannot remember seeing them but when I asked the friend I would have gone with she looked at me like I was crazy and couldn’t believe I didn’t remember (I was 15, too young to have been out of it on anything!)

Why don’t I remember things?

OP posts:
1983Louise · 28/03/2023 16:12

My husband can remember things from years ago but can't remember the three things he needs from Lidl 😊 I can't remember events from years ago but I'm so busy organising life today. I guess we're all different but I do love looking at old photos.

Threeboysandadog · 28/03/2023 16:19

Yes, I’m the same. The subject came up on the Mumsnet adoption board a few years ago where a couple were being ruled out for adoption as the man had no childhood memories and was considered to be suppressing an traumatic childhood rather than dealing with it despite him being certain this was not the case. Lots of people posted to say they were the same. That’s the first time I’d ever realised it was a thing.

I didn’t know it was related to ADHD and ASD. I have no diagnosis but with one ds with ADHD and the other two with ASD I’m pretty certain I have both. In my twenties I flew abroad 4 times to different countries. I can recall some memories from the holidays but can’t remember flying or being on a plane at all. It’s as if I’ve never been. I also have no memory at all of my Granny who lived with us and died when I almost 7 whereas my younger sister (by 2.5 years) remembers her well. Sadly, I don’t really remember my dad who died when I was 21.

APurpleSquirrel · 28/03/2023 16:23

My brother is the same. Can't remember hardly anything from our childhood & he finds it really hard. I tell him about stuff that happened, etc but he says it's like I'm talking about someone else. It's really difficult as our mum died 10+ years ago & we aren't in contact with our dad nor have extended family, so I'm his only link to our pasts. He often wants to talk about it, which I get, but sometimes it's exhausting & dredges up not so nice memories etc.
I, in contrast, have a very good memory usually, I can mentally walk my way round our childhood home but my brother can only remember snippets of it.

PokemonPasta · 28/03/2023 16:27

Have a look into dissociative disorders

adhdpunchbag · 28/03/2023 16:33

Shininghope · 28/03/2023 14:50

A lot of people do have this, you’re not alone. It’s common in people that have ADHD or ASD
if that connects with you.

Yup, agree with you there. My memory is shocking, have inattentive type ADHD. DS has hyperactive type ADHD though and his memory is ace.

Miriam101 · 28/03/2023 16:36

Yes I relate to this very strongly. I am still close to my school friends, and one of them in particular seems to have 100% recall of everything we did in the mid/late 90s. For me it's much patchier- and as for people talking about their memories of primary school, or even before- forget it. I can just remember flashes, nothing particularly clearly.

For me there was definitely no trauma involved. I sometimes feel like I stuffed my brain with so much in terms of learning and career etc in my 20s that stuff that came before it sort of had to give way! I have also wondered many times if I might have ADHD. Who knows?

The one thing that interests me- and upsets me slightly too I suppose- is that the things I do remember from childhood are almost always negative: moments of shame or embarrassment or sadness! Of which I'm glad to say there weren't many. But still. Does anyone else find that?

YukoandHiro · 28/03/2023 16:41

My husband is like this - no memories at all of things we did about 10 or 15 years ago when we first met. Whole holidays he has barely any recollection of, or it takes loads and loads of photos put together to prompt him. I do find it odd, but I have a pretty good meeker.

YukoandHiro · 28/03/2023 16:41
  • memory
Chessetchelsea · 28/03/2023 16:43

I have the opposite - remember loads and loads of detail, dates, names, places. No one else does and I end up doubting myself 🤣

Colinthedaxi · 28/03/2023 16:46

Totally agree with a previous poster who said “OP, Have you heard of SDAM? I have aphantasia and I reckon SDAM as well. It's upsetting. I take 100's of photo's but have hardly any childhood memories.” I have next to no childhood memories, don’t recognise anyone from school and can’t visualise anything!! I’m also very face blind. I blog with loads of photos and print it off every year so I have any recollection at all!! As a plus I don’t have visual memories of a very traumatic time and I tend to forget grudges 🤣

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 28/03/2023 16:46

I get what you mean.

I was raped when I was 20, and for a really long time I just 'lost' all my memories from when I was a child through to teen. I could only recall very specific events that left me feeling upset or embarrassed - no good examples of days out for example. Pretty certain it was trauma.

Acknowledging I had a blank spot and why helped me to bring back some of those memories - as well as talking a lot about being a kid and looking at old photos. There are quite a lot of events however that I only really 'remember' through the photos. So I'm not actually sure if it's a memory!

Soozikinzii · 28/03/2023 16:46

I'm very similar and my Dad died when I was 6 . I'm sure it's a coping mechanism so you must be the same. It's probably very common amongst bereaved children. Don't worry about it . Bereaved children have to be so resilient xx

Stormydanielss · 28/03/2023 19:15

I have this too and it makes me so sad. Just nothingness not even snippets. Eg I know I went to see rocky horror at the theatre - nothing
Concerts - maybe one view memory of them
I don't remember much of my eldest childhood
I wish I could remember more

Stormydanielss · 28/03/2023 19:20

I have had a lot of trauma in my 30's and I think that's destroyed my memory - maybe it's that

LadyEloise1 · 28/03/2023 19:31

I had a lovely childhood, I don't think I have ADHD or ASD and I too can't remember a lot of my life.
Other people seem to remember so much more than me.
I was concussed at one stage and wonder did that affect my memory.

birdling · 28/03/2023 20:42

I could have written your post.
Most of my life is a blank, it makes me sad that I can't remember anything.

GreekDogRescue · 28/03/2023 20:48

I’m the same but it is partly due to childhood trauma

MysweetAudrina · 28/03/2023 20:54

I'm the opposite,i remember the minutiae, very little of my past that I can't recall with clarity. I always say of course I remember I was there. I mean it's not as if life is that long and I really don't understand how you could not know you did something.

blueshoes · 28/03/2023 20:59

Me.

I have to remember things from photos. It is embarassing when old childhood friends get in touch. Whilst I have a vague memory of their name, I cannot remember where exactly I met them or when or have shared memories. I have no childhood trauma.

Interesting that posters say it is linked to ADHD. I think I have a touch of that.

I keep a journal of my children's lives.

blueshoes · 28/03/2023 21:00

MysweetAudrina · 28/03/2023 20:54

I'm the opposite,i remember the minutiae, very little of my past that I can't recall with clarity. I always say of course I remember I was there. I mean it's not as if life is that long and I really don't understand how you could not know you did something.

You cannot understand that not everyone is exactly like you?

Original poster
Woodywasatwat · 28/03/2023 21:03

MysweetAudrina · 28/03/2023 20:54

I'm the opposite,i remember the minutiae, very little of my past that I can't recall with clarity. I always say of course I remember I was there. I mean it's not as if life is that long and I really don't understand how you could not know you did something.

That’s what makes it so frustrating!

How can I not remember seeing Blur! I’ve loved them for almost 30 years. And I cannot remember a second of the gig.

I’ve got a photo of me outside the venue age 15. But it’s just blank.

And how can I not remember part of a once in a lifetime trip to New Zealand when I was 29. My son remembers a specific thing we did. I don’t. It could be a total stranger in the photos from that day, but it’s me.

OP posts:
Newuser82 · 28/03/2023 21:09

I'm like this!! My sister will say stuff like oh you remember this and I'm thinking, no I really dont! I've never really thought much about it until now. It's odd isn't it? I remember some things but not a huge amount!

Oblomov23 · 28/03/2023 21:10

I don't remember much. I remember being happy, content. I don't remember much 'content'.

blueshoes · 28/03/2023 21:12

Oblomov23 · 28/03/2023 21:10

I don't remember much. I remember being happy, content. I don't remember much 'content'.

Yes, I remember vaguely how I felt but the specifics are lost.

I guess I have the opposite of a photographic memory for my life.

MysweetAudrina · 28/03/2023 21:13

No @blueshoes I said I can't understand how you could not know you did something.

That would freak me out as what if I had done something really bad and couldn't remember it? Also anyone of tries to gaslight me gets put in their place very quick. I think I have whatever the emotional equivalent of a photographic memory is.