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Original poster

Am I being silly; friend keeps telling me what the children are doing…

60 replies

Spareincoming · 27/03/2023 18:20

Basically my friend lives opposite my DC’s school/nursery and she can see the children playing - their classroom and outdoor space is clearly visible from her home office space. She is forever telling me she can see the DC and what they’re up to, plus the children they’re playing with. “DC likes to play with bigger children/walk around with the teachers don’t they” type comments have been passed.
Her children have left the school but she is still a governor and is really invested int he fundraising side of things. It’s a very small school in a rural area, everyone knows everyone in our village so is not be surprised if she’s telling other parents the same as me.
I’ve told her I don’t want to know; they are not in my care; I will hear about anything major so I don’t need to know what’s going on.
My DH thinks I’m being silly by being annoyed but it’s rather irritating to hear from her almost every day.

OP posts:
Laiste · 27/03/2023 18:23

Is she texting the info.?

Have you tried just totally ignoring it?

What did she say when you told her you didn;t want to know? Did she acknowledge it?

aSofaNearYou · 27/03/2023 18:27

I find your response a bit odd - I wouldn't be disinterested in this just because they aren't in my care, I'd be interested to know what they get up to.

I understand if your issue is the frequency though.

Original poster
Spareincoming · 27/03/2023 18:29

She is texting or using Facebook messenger; I’ve had my phone on “do not disturb” today as I had a lot of work to do; sure enough when I switched that off, 2 texts from her about DC playing with a new child and that a lot of the children had been outside filling the planters the PTA bought!
I don’t respond to her school related messages anymore. Haven’t since December!
She completely ignored me when I told
her to stop!

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meltingmyhead · 27/03/2023 18:29

It's weird that she's spending so much time watching the kids! Surely she has something else to do.

lovechickencrisps · 27/03/2023 18:32

I'd be more concerned about the fact that she can see them so clearly and who else is able to watch them like that.

Original poster
Spareincoming · 27/03/2023 18:32

aSofaNearYou · 27/03/2023 18:27

I find your response a bit odd - I wouldn't be disinterested in this just because they aren't in my care, I'd be interested to know what they get up to.

I understand if your issue is the frequency though.

By not in my care I really mean I’m not responsible for them so don’t need to know every interaction that they have (that she can see) DC loves telling us what they’ve been up to and the school use a school-home app really well so I get to see the quality stuff, not the “DC was outside today in schools waterproofs not their own” message I got from her last week!

OP posts:
Original poster
Spareincoming · 27/03/2023 18:36

@meltingmyhead She has a busy job as well, wish she’d concentrate on that!

@lovechickencrisps the building is set away from the road and slopes down away from the road too so I think her elevation (her office is the loft space with dormer windows) gives her a good view. Beyond the school it’s a beautiful view too, so I understand completely why they converted that space!

OP posts:
Laiste · 27/03/2023 18:37

That's really weird.

...............

nope - I'm sitting here with a Confused face and i just can't think of anything else to say! Sorry OP 😂

It's weird.

lovechickencrisps · 27/03/2023 18:38

@Spareincoming ah probably me being paranoid!

Laiste · 27/03/2023 18:39

I mean, if you've managed to tell her to stop once i guess you'll have to go there again. But with a bit more insistence.

Treeabovethefire · 27/03/2023 18:39

I’d actually love this. I can see why it irritates you though.

dollypartin · 27/03/2023 18:40

She's really weird!! Every single day?!

Laiste · 27/03/2023 18:40

It would irritate me.
Can't put my finger on exactly why though.

baxtersm · 27/03/2023 18:41

Nah that would do my head in too!

devildeepbluesea · 27/03/2023 18:41

God that would be tedious. Just ignore it, hopefully she’ll get the message.

Original poster
Spareincoming · 27/03/2023 18:42

@dollypartin at least 3 days out of 5 since half term; I’ve just counted!

i just find it weirdly invasive! Or boundary-less!

OP posts:
Laiste · 27/03/2023 18:43

Yes! It's invasive.

''Stop watching my bloody kid!''

Or something equally diplomatic 😄

GettingThereCharleyBear · 27/03/2023 18:45

Totally get you OP - but we live in a world where parents want to know everything about their children every second of the day. The helicopters are flying 😄.

I would definitely ignore - she’ll give up eventually.

Original poster
Spareincoming · 27/03/2023 18:47

@Laiste My sister suggested I teach DC to flick the Vs in the direction of her house but that might be a bit too much on DC!

OP posts:
meltingmyhead · 27/03/2023 18:48

Laiste · 27/03/2023 18:43

Yes! It's invasive.

''Stop watching my bloody kid!''

Or something equally diplomatic 😄

This!

Rainbowshine · 27/03/2023 18:48

Could you raise it with school or even the Local Authority as a possible conflict of interest/safeguarding concern? She’s not got appropriate boundaries of professional responsibility to be a governor, when you might hear about all sorts of things. Given she’s clearly observing the children and messaging about them but with reference to other children not just yours, that’s not right. It’s not her role to be reporting on them like this

TheHouseCellar · 27/03/2023 18:49

aSofaNearYou · 27/03/2023 18:27

I find your response a bit odd - I wouldn't be disinterested in this just because they aren't in my care, I'd be interested to know what they get up to.

I understand if your issue is the frequency though.

I'd be very cross about this too. the woman is just a nosey cow. Doubtless she is gossiping to all and sundry about the thing she sees.This is hardly appropriate conduct from a school governor.

Monstermunchmum · 27/03/2023 18:51

She sounds very lonely, sad and desperate for attention. Who wants to watch other peoples kids play?! Seriously 😳

Original poster
Spareincoming · 27/03/2023 18:53

@Rainbowshine I’d not thought about the safeguarding side really, just my own irritation; but you are right!

OP posts:
coffeemoon · 27/03/2023 18:59

I agree with @Rainbowshine It's a strange thing to do and it's really not her concern or her business what other children are up to. She just sounds like a bit of a busybody. I'm afraid I'd be quite straight with her and nip it in the bud by asking her to please stop observing and sending messages about my child.