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How not to embarrass your child as they go into Y7

78 replies

KindergartenKop · 26/03/2023 16:28

DS is going into Y7 in September. I've got to get him a load of stuff like a school bag, pencil case etc etc.

What should I avoid doing/saying/getting as he goes into secondary. DS doesn't necessarily know either! My Little Pony pencil case? 🐎

OP posts:
Ketzele · 26/03/2023 16:29

Be invisible. If you do have to be seen in public together, pretend you don't know him.

EskSmith · 26/03/2023 16:34

Ketzele · 26/03/2023 16:29

Be invisible. If you do have to be seen in public together, pretend you don't know him.

😁

On bags/pencil cases. I'd get a really cheap plain pencil case that can be easily changed if it is not right...
Bags, all schools are different, see if you can look at your chosen school now to see bag brands.

GoodVibesHere · 26/03/2023 16:36

What I have found is, secondary school isn't anywhere near as judgemental as it was when I was that age, and it seems anything goes really. Kids are less bothered about having the 'right' stuff. Maybe that's not all schools, but that's how it is in my DC school of over 1,200 kids.

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TheFormidableMrsC · 26/03/2023 16:39

They all have to have the same equipment and bags at our school so for pencil cases, they are just plain and clear. No room for getting that wrong! I've found it less stressful than primary as they have to start taking more personal responsibility. I meet him away from the gates at pick up and in the morning I walk with him until he meets a group of friends and then they go off. I'm also grateful that the school bag is school issue so no competitiveness there.

QuillBill · 26/03/2023 16:39

Ketzele · 26/03/2023 16:29

Be invisible. If you do have to be seen in public together, pretend you don't know him.

Absolutely. Walk past him in the street.

Buy an inspector gadget style raincoat and hat and walk past the school at chucking out time and assess the school bags. Try to buy similar. Be incredibly mindful of trainers for PE.

Don't suggest anything practical or warm. Let him get cold and rained on.

MargaretThursday · 26/03/2023 16:41

Don't stand outside school on their first day in tears and ask older ones (that you don't know) going in to look out for your little darling.

Yes, this happened one year.

In real terms, assuming you have a teeny bit of common sense, drive past the school at home time and see what a lot seem to have, if you want to be organised.
Or get a cheap bag to start (plain black backpacks seem to be pretty universal) so that if they come out saying that everyone has X, then you can get it for them then.

Pubesofsoberness · 26/03/2023 16:43

Something plain. None of them seem fussed with named bags here

None of mine have ever pretended not to know me if I bump into them in the street. Even ds whos in year 7 atm and he's the one I'd thought would be most likely to

Afonavon · 26/03/2023 16:46

Don’t bother with an expensive warm coat, after the first week he won’t wear it again.

Lcb123 · 26/03/2023 16:48

Buy the bare minimum cheapest things, in black or similar. Can always upgrade if necessary

Pubesofsoberness · 26/03/2023 16:48

Yeah no coat even if its snowing

reluctantbrit · 26/03/2023 16:50

For bags - check school requirements and check with parents who already have children at the school.

Equipment - our school sends out a letter with relevant things, especially for maths, down to the colour of the pens they use to mark their own work. I would go for a plain case and upgrade/change if necessary. Oh, and keep a spare set of rulers and compasses at home. Our school sets detention if equipment is not available for lessons.

Don't talk about decent and sensible coats, there is a switch in each 11 year old in September which makes them allergeric to sensible view of what to wear.

DD loves being dropped at school but only at a certain street corner, she injured her foot last week and we dropped her off at the gate and she was mortified😂

KindergartenKop · 26/03/2023 16:51

Haha. Good tips. Will he be bullied for Velcro shoes?

OP posts:
Mustreadabook · 26/03/2023 16:51

Everything black or dark grey. My younger son is more adventurous he wears light grey too.

LondonQueen · 26/03/2023 16:51

Buy plain "normcore" style items, eg plain black backpack with either a very small or no logo, same with pencil case. Don't bother with a coat, it won't get worn at school, and if it does it will be lost by the end of the first week!

LondonQueen · 26/03/2023 16:52

I wouldn't get velcro no, laces really, by 11 he should know how to tie laces. Many of my year 2s can tie their shoes!

Fatkittythinkitty · 26/03/2023 16:53

I really wouldn't overthink it. I have 3 in secondary and nobody seems that bothered about specific bags and trainers. All of them would be really upset if i walked past them and ignored them!

As long as you don't get anything obviously odd like a briefcase and platform shoes I'm sure he'll be fine

KindergartenKop · 26/03/2023 16:53

@LondonQueen he can tie them but does it badly and then walks around with them undone. He's useless.

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 26/03/2023 16:54

Pubesofsoberness · 26/03/2023 16:48

Yeah no coat even if its snowing

Mine wears a coat. But coats are banned within school premises so presumably that makes them a desired item.

Fatkittythinkitty · 26/03/2023 16:54

Oh and all 3 of mine wear coats as do all their friends.

LondonQueen · 26/03/2023 16:57

You could try some "no tie" laces, you can get them on amazon pretty cheap and at a quick glance they wouldn't stand out like velcro?

QuillBill · 26/03/2023 16:57

Mine wears a coat. But coats are banned within school premises so presumably that makes them a desired item.

Bloody genius!

Zola1 · 26/03/2023 16:58

Same as others have said...don't know on school shoes for boys, but super important to have the right coat, shoes and bag for my y8 daughter. Shoes had to be vivienne westwood, bag a specific cath kidston backpack, coat any parajumper will work 🙄. Whereas my niece is y7 in another school and says she wouldn't be seen dead in my daughters bag and vice versa
Pencil case go plain and cheap prob just black, any water bottle same, or just a make like Nike would be safe!

TheChippendenSpook · 26/03/2023 16:58

KindergartenKop · 26/03/2023 16:51

Haha. Good tips. Will he be bullied for Velcro shoes?

My son is in year 7 and he wasn't bullied when he had velcro shoes. His feet always have a growth spurt around spring so we've just got him some new slip on trainers. They are allowed to wear black trainers at his school.

He's also got a black coat and a black rucksack.
He has a clear pencil case but that was recommended due to him having dyspraxia and it's easier for him to see what he needs to get out of it. That's also why he can't tie shoe laces, hence the velcro and slip on trainers.

Changes17 · 26/03/2023 16:58

Afonavon · 26/03/2023 16:46

Don’t bother with an expensive warm coat, after the first week he won’t wear it again.

So true. Or make it enormous so when he comes round to coats aged 15 or so it still fits.

BaseballCrazy · 26/03/2023 16:58

KindergartenKop · 26/03/2023 16:53

@LondonQueen he can tie them but does it badly and then walks around with them undone. He's useless.

Don’t worry, they never undo laces anyway. They just force them on with the laces tied. 😂

No coats, although both of my kids wore them as they got older, year 9/10 in very cold weather.

No pencil case, it all goes in the blazer pockets.