In an ideal world everyone would consider these things before having children, and once they do, consider the potential impact further children would have on the ones the do have.
However, its too late for the what ifs and the should haves for the OP, unfortunately, she doesnt have the ability to change her past decisions. So now she needs to find the best way, within her personal situation and circumstances, to support all of her children, financially, physically, and emotionally. I dont think berating someone for choices that cant be changed will help them do that.
@ashamedmum007 yes, in theory. Yet it's reasonable to ask why people keep prioritising their wants over their children's needs. I think the reactions on the thread are primarily huge frustration at this: the fact that so many people continually do this and the complete lack or remorse or even understanding about the impact of these selfish choices. Making out that it's a funny matter with "lol" and smiley faces. The impact om their children, and on other taxpayers for that matter is not a joke.
It's all very well saying "oh it's too late now" but it always is, isn't it, by the time the person has made those decisions that are detrimental to their children? And then people are called "evil" as they have been here if they question it. But when were they meant to question it? How could they do so beforehand? So that argument effectively means that disadvantaging children in such a way, putting your right to "choices" over their wellbeing, can never be challenged or questioned at all. Because you must be evil to even suggest it was a bad plan, of course you should just pay more even if you couldn't fund a family that size yourself because you pay so much tax to fund others being subsidised. People should just pick up the NHS and education and welfare bill for entrenching disadvantages because yet another person has decided to ignore their children's wellbeing and their needs and what is in their best interests because the parents' freedom to choose trumps everything and everyone should just shut up even when they can see how damaging it will be, and that there were other options. But it can never be questioned at all because the retort is always "it's too late now, it's done". It's completely reasonable to question the fairness to the children of expanding families people cannot provide for adequately, for the children's sake, in the hope that fewer people might do so in future. It's not "evil" for people to challenge other adults to behave like adults and expect them to put their children's needs above their own. It's not evil for people to point out the proven fact that growing up in an overcrowded environment with little parental attention or money harms life chances. This is fact.
We all know that in some circumstances people do end up in dire straights due to unpredictable circumstances. But this isn't that. It does not absolve adults of the responsibility to try to improve things for their own children, not actively make them harder when there were choices, and then shrug their shoulders and say "oh, it's too late now so you're evil for saying this was a bad idea" when they actually could have avoided making things even harder for their children than they had to be. But it's too late now, you "evil" people for mentioning it, shut up? It's an excuse to shut down any questioning ever of adults being utterly selfish.
Ultimately not enough people prioritise their children over themselves, and people being upset about this is reasonable and normal. People are empathetic and don't like to think of children growing up in disadvantaged situations when it is avoidable. It does impact the rest of society hugely as well as the sadness for those kids. The dismissiveness of the children's needs and right to a decent childhood on this thread has been shocking. Then to top it off people are called nasty for stating that this isn't a good thing, or funny, to put children in this situation. I think it would be nasty to condone it, frankly.