Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?

[MissMooley]

Wasn't sure where to post this to get the most advice.
Basically I'm in a 3 bed house. Me, dds 14 & 19, and ds 11&8.
Currently, dd 14 & 19 have their own rooms, and the boys share. I have a bed in the living room.
It's worked for us nicely, but now I'm due twins in 10 weeks 😂🙈
I have no idea where they're going lol
My options so far are:

1- Scrap having a living room and just make it a full bedroom for me and the twins.

2- make the living room a full bedroom, and move the sofa etc into the outshed, but not sure how that will go in winter, it gets pretty cold and I don't have the money to fully convert it (also a council house, so would need permission I assume?)

That's it. I don't like the idea of having no living room but there's literally no space to have the cots and all the baby stuff in there with my bed and the sofa etc too.

I've considered the girls sharing, but eldest has asd and several mh disorders so can't see that working for her.

Just feel a bit stuck and hoping someone has a magic solution I haven't thought of!

@Nanny0gg that's exactly what I did and why I wasn't going to reply anymore but I think alot of posters have assumed my circumstances, so I'm just going to answer a few things now I've had a bit of sleep.

I have looked into private renting unsuccessfully so far. However a pp has pointed me in the direction of a list of landlords the council have that I'll ask about.

I asked to be sterilised after my 4th and was told no twice due to my age. I can have it done if I have a section now, if not I'll be getting it done after now I'm getting a yes.

I have only reffered to the fact that my girls don't go see their dad because of stepmum. That doesn't mean he isn't involved, he pays his way for 14 Yr old and always did for 19 Yr old until she became an adult.
The boys dad is quite frankly amazing with regards to being actively involved and pays cms.
Twins dad is also involved.

I do work, ill be going back once maternity leave is over.

I am very much usually a ' laugh or cry' type person. Dark humour to deal with bad situations, and think positive and deal with the situations you've got. That's why I may come across as not taking it seriously.

This is the situation, and I welcome advice on how to make some more room.

Re: kitchen, that's where we tend to gather. Maybe I could put fridge freezer and dryer in the outhouse and move sofa to the back of the kitchen, I think it could be big enough?

As for all the less than useful comments, I get it. That was me when I was in a different position a few years back. It's how it is on places like this.

We are not in 1990. People are made to move out of Council houses and downsize. You are no longer given a 3 bed with 1 child like years ago.

The Council are not responsible for people like OP deliberately causing herself to be over crowded. God where is the self responsibility in your post.

Hi OP

havent rtwt but congratulations!
as pp said, if you have space in the garden, a caravan for your 19 year old might be a great solution? My neighbours bought one as a workspace off eBay and it was around £600

@Viviennemary

Over crowding will not put you to the top of a council list these days, overcrowding my my LA is band 5 priority, out of 6 possible bands, and the wait could be years and years, if ever, depending on the LA's housing stock and needs of the local population.

Boys share

Girls Share

You and the Twins Share....

You need some living space outside of the bedrooms, and I don't see it's particularly fair that the two of the family (the girls) get their own living spaces, but the soon-to-be 5 other members do not.

Sounds like at least your sons should go and live with their dad.

My God, there's some absolute vileness and misogyny on this thread. I think some posters should be ashamed of the things they've said.

I think I would do:

Bedroom 1 - the boys
Bedroom 2 - the twins
Bedroom 3 - me
Living room (divide with a stud wall and turn into 2 bedrooms) - one for each of the girls

My reasoning is that I think the babies will need a bedroom. It’s warmer upstairs (usually) and quieter (no one congregating in the kitchen banging pots and pans). I would also want to be close to them, so next door.

In a nice way, have you considered sterilisation? It’s something I’m looking into now as I really don’t want another child and as you say, contraception is largely effective, but not always.

Sorry, I see you did mention sterilisation on your last post. A good idea if you don’t want more. Best of luck op!

If you truly dont understand why than perhaps do some thinking. Eventhough its not something you need to understand, its the reality you understanding it or not.
And yes, I am having a go because I dont like you having a go at the OP.

Could the boys stay with their dad at least for a while OP, as you say he's an engaged and great parent? It might help remove some of the short term logistical nightmare while you settle into a new routine with the babies?

The girls just have to share.

Are you looking on the house swap sites? Even a house 3 bed with separate dining room would help you.
Try - Homeswapper, Glassbob & House exchange. There’s so many on Facebook too.

Even if you have to move areas it would help you so much and your children, would be much better than 6 children to be crammed in.

The housing will help you get moved, are you sure you have applied? Seems like you don’t really want to move so maybe look into asking permission to convert the loft or extend somehow.

Failing all of that, the girls need to share.

I don’t think 18 year olds are classed as adults well they’re still dependents till 20 I think? 20 or 21 and given the circumstances I don’t think the housing would say move her out.

All the folk passing judgement, you think you can control your lives by sheer force of will and planning ahead. You really can't. OP I'd see if I could get a quote for making the attached outhouse habitable or at least dry and secure to use as living room if not a bedroom, then keep everyone where they are if that's working and the twins in the living room with you. We live in a society top heavy with old people. You are carrying more than your fair share of weight in trying to fix that. Good luck with your due date, hope it all goes smoothly 💐

Getting a sofa in the kitchen sounds promising. Can you put up size of rooms, it might help people visualise the set up and make useful suggestions.

I think there are some good ideas:
Dividing one of the bedrooms so girls can share
Checking if outhouse can be made usable for DD1
Outhouse as living room for all the family
Things moved out of kitchen to make room for sofa
Caravan in the garden - could be useful for promoting her independence

I hope all goes well with the twins, I have a friend who had a set of twins and then got pregnant expecting one and got another set, hard work on one hand but the children all had a playmate so did play together lots.

On what planet is it ever okay to tell a woman who came on MN for advice about bedrooms she should have had an abortion or give her kids up for adoption?

Sums up why MN has such a bad reputation though.

Bedroom one - girls share, but use some smart dividers so it feels separate enough for oldest DD

Bedroom two - boys share

Bedroom three - OP and twins

That feels like the only realistic way of doing it I think.

Putting a caravan outside is not likely to be an option under her tenancy agreement, posters really need to stop suggesting it.

Well then it looks like the boy should go with their Dad and the twins Dad can help get a larger private rental for all the rest of you., or is he not that ‘involved’?

If the twins dad is involved, what is he doing to sort the living situation for his children?

Same with the boys dad - could your boys go and live with him temporarily until you get something sorted ?

There isn't a great solution other than completely altering your financial circumstances. Like almost all people in this country you can't afford to have six children. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't have six children, but you can't expect to have six children and enjoy the same kind of life or offer them the same kind of material comfort as people with smaller families.

Do you want to have more children? If not then I would think very seriously about having your tubes tied when your twins are born to avoid the situation becoming even more complicated.

God this thread is depressing. In every way.

You didn't end up in a similar situation though, you didn't go on to have another 2 pregnancies after that and try to squeeze them in a small house. If you had come onto MN asking for advice in your situation then the responses would have been extremely different to many of these.

She does get UC so she doesn't earn enough to look after 6 children

I apologise OP but I thought this was a parody post. Caravan in the garden for your eldest seems to be the best solution. You and the twins move into that room. You need a larger house - Your children need space to study for their GCSE's.