Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?

[MissMooley]

Wasn't sure where to post this to get the most advice.
Basically I'm in a 3 bed house. Me, dds 14 & 19, and ds 11&8.
Currently, dd 14 & 19 have their own rooms, and the boys share. I have a bed in the living room.
It's worked for us nicely, but now I'm due twins in 10 weeks 😂🙈
I have no idea where they're going lol
My options so far are:

1- Scrap having a living room and just make it a full bedroom for me and the twins.

2- make the living room a full bedroom, and move the sofa etc into the outshed, but not sure how that will go in winter, it gets pretty cold and I don't have the money to fully convert it (also a council house, so would need permission I assume?)

That's it. I don't like the idea of having no living room but there's literally no space to have the cots and all the baby stuff in there with my bed and the sofa etc too.

I've considered the girls sharing, but eldest has asd and several mh disorders so can't see that working for her.

Just feel a bit stuck and hoping someone has a magic solution I haven't thought of!

My point is that it happens, and you don't know that something rare didn't happen to OP.

I won't be responding to the rest of your post as it is unnecessarily judgey and I have more character than to speculate on someone's private life based on a few posts.

Maybe room dividers? Triple bunk beds? We got overcrowded when I had a surprise baby (3 kids in a small 2 bed). We moved 100 miles away where we have over double the space and can live more comfortably. Is that an option?

Can I ask why you’re producing six children and on welfare? I don’t understand why you’d keep reproducing when you have neither space nor finances?

Is it? Where have you got that from?

I know lots of people with girl/boy twins who had them naturally.

I have twin boys who weren’t IVF

Get in touch with your local transitions team. Tell them you want your eldest to transition into her own home etc as she's an adult, can't cope with sharing a bedroom and you're way overcrowded. They should come and do an assessment and hopefully give viable options. We're going to be looking into it soon with our son but more educational based atm like college as he's almost 15.

I think you have missed the point. It's not just about the room. OP has 2 DDs 14 and 19 ideally they need there own room. Having no living room isn't ideal for mental health.

OP was ALREADY more than 1 room short. It's always the same that people lack accountability on these threads. Do you actually have personal experience of living in a big family?

Have to agree here and you can get sterilised if you really don’t want anymore kids.

Thats basically 2 more kids a tax payer like me with no kids supports in benefits and OP wanting a bigger house.

For info two of my best friends on benefits worked hard to get off them by getting jobs and both have fairly successful businesses and grandchildren now.

It all just sounds so chaotic. I'm having my second (and last) and we live in a 4 bed with my husband and I'm still worried about the extra noise and mess. 7 people in one house, especially with different dads, I think I'd go out to buy a packet of cigarettes and not come back. It just sounds bloody mad.

In what world is 7 people in a 3 bed, one bedroom short?

The bedrooms are just one issue amongst a chaotic life for these poor children.

In all fairness, six children and one adult, ranging from 19-newborn, in a three bedroom house is not just one bedroom short.

God some people are arseholes, aren't they.

MissMooley whatever you choose to do, making the outhouse a space you can use sounds like a brilliant idea.

There are some great DIY Facebook groups out there. Why not join some of them and post your outhouse as a project, I bet you'll get some great ideas on how to tackle it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Wishing you all the best.

I’m sure the OP knew what a shitstorm this would cause when posting for ‘DIY’ advice.

If this is for real then the simple solution is the two girls in one room, the two boys in another and you and the twins in the third.

Never heard that.

I have a twin brother. We were conceived naturally.

@MichelleScarn I pay higher rate tax, about £500+ a week on average. I have two dc. I still manage to have empathy for others in difficult and different circumstances. My patience is not wearing thin as a tax payer because I’m not a shit person.

GonnaGetGoingReturns what on earth are you blabbering on about ? The op has stated she works and earns too much to get help......

The fire and brimstone on here is hilarious, makes me wonder how previous generations who went on to be normal, successful adults coped. 🤔

Some of the suggestions on here are amusing to say to the least:

Ask the council to rehouse in a bigger house - demand outstrips supply a hundred fold.

Ask the council to build an extension - will never happen (unless disabilities involved)

Put a caravan in the garden - very, very unlikely to be allowed under the tenancy agreement.

Convert the outhouse at £££ - very unlikely the OP could afford that.

The only realistic option is to try to find somewhere private, but that might mean moving to a different area.

I really hope this is someone on the wind up, if it isn't, then the OP is in for a tough ride.

I think trying to divide the girls bedroom is a good idea, if possible. If not I'd go for turning the living room into a bedroom. Maybe have a look at Pinterest or somewhere similar to get ideas of what other people have done so a room can have a dual function. I appreciate that it all depends on funds you have available but could just be a starting point for ideas Sometimes other people may have come up with storage solutions that you might not have thought of that could work for you.

I don't really understand the mumsnet attitude towards siblings sharing bedrooms. I did at various points of my childhood and even when we did get our own bedrooms we would still bunk together sometimes. The main thing is that the kid's each have a quiet space to retake themselves off to should they need to inorder to do homework and stuff like that.

Converting the outhouse no longer requires planning permission, but DOES require building regulations compliance and approval. It will need a window large enough and with an appropriate opening to escape from in a fire. The insulation would need to be compliant too.

So for anyone considering this and putting their child in it to sleep - it’s not as simple as dragging in a load of stuff and sticking a heater on.

I can’t see the council agreeing to it, as they would of course need it to be done properly, which costs money.

I think room divides at the only option

Agree, Capricorn, I came from a large family.. slightly different from the OP, in that we lived in a 4 bed detached house, but even then, if felt overcrowded, bedroom sharing and one of my siblings having their bed on the upstairs landing, an elderly relative living with us, lots of cats and dogs, a very shouty father.
I made sure I created an opposite way of living when I became an adult.

@MissMooley what is the downstairs layout? If living room has its own door and is separated off, not a flow through from front door to living room to kitchen or similar then I’d look to partition this similar to what some of the TikTok links shared here have shown. DDs can go down there. One room upstairs now becomes yours and the twins and the other becomes a smaller living space. Small sofa and TV and a desk and chair.

Other alternatives - you have an adult (not a child) living with you. Despite their ASD you should be having discussions about the potential of moving out. Even if there wasn’t this pregnancy you’d be having to have this talk in the next few years anyway surely as the boys get older and you get fed up of sleeping on the sofa. Get her on the council list. Consider the dramatic ‘making homeless’ thing people are expected to do. Or could she go to your mums for a few years until working and more independent and able to get her own place?

Get on the phone with council about being rehomed and looking at swaps. Your best bet will be another 3 bed that is either generally bigger, has a better layout (e.g. completely separate living room) or has a dining room which could become a 4th bedroom and you could retain your existing arrangement for the older children whilst you and babies share the dining room and you keep a communal living space.

All (3?) of the fathers should have CMS claims lodged against them if they don’t already. If you end up receiving money from them there is potential to afford private rental with more space in the future.

I feel really sorry for your existing children in all cases. I hope you are able to support them all well and wish you good health and success with the birth and everything in the future.

If you are honestly done with children please consider sterilisation and you will never have to face such a situation ever again.

Op will you be able to return to work with so many kids needing attention? How will you manage? Do you envisage that the twin's father will pay maintenance?

There's a real benefit to having a sitting room. So the girls share one room, the boys share another, you and the twins the third. The ones sharing bedrooms can share time in there v the sitting room. They can go to homework club to complete homework. Keep the school informed so that they can give further support.