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Original poster

Where to put all these kids?! Wwyd?

667 replies

MissMooley · 25/03/2023 21:00

Wasn't sure where to post this to get the most advice.
Basically I'm in a 3 bed house. Me, dds 14 & 19, and ds 11&8.
Currently, dd 14 & 19 have their own rooms, and the boys share. I have a bed in the living room.
It's worked for us nicely, but now I'm due twins in 10 weeks 😂🙈
I have no idea where they're going lol
My options so far are:

1- Scrap having a living room and just make it a full bedroom for me and the twins.

2- make the living room a full bedroom, and move the sofa etc into the outshed, but not sure how that will go in winter, it gets pretty cold and I don't have the money to fully convert it (also a council house, so would need permission I assume?)

That's it. I don't like the idea of having no living room but there's literally no space to have the cots and all the baby stuff in there with my bed and the sofa etc too.

I've considered the girls sharing, but eldest has asd and several mh disorders so can't see that working for her.

Just feel a bit stuck and hoping someone has a magic solution I haven't thought of!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Rosebel · 26/03/2023 09:20

MissMooley · 25/03/2023 22:26

Thanks for all the suggestions, I think I'm going to look into dividing a room for the girls if sorting the outshed can't work.

I'll also look into pip for eldest. I don't claim carers or anything as I earn too much.

Just me and the kids living here.

And no gas appliances in the living room
X

Your DD will probably get pip. My DD2 does for ASD.
Are you in social housing? Our housing agent advised us to go back to the council and apply for a 4 bedroom property and explain that DDs really needs separate rooms. Or try to swap to another 3 bed with a dinning room and convert dinning room to a bedroom.
So longer term I don't know if you could see about bidding for another property but with a dinning room as that will probably be easier than getting a 4 bed
I don't think making the sitting room in to a bedroom is a good idea. Even if the older ones don't use it much surely your babies are going to need it.
Look in to a room divider instead as others have said.

Meandfour · 26/03/2023 09:21

LemonTreeSkies · 26/03/2023 04:42

Your title of “where to put all these kids” sound like you think it’s kind of funny to me.

I agree. Ridiculous and irresponsible. I bet the kids growing up with no living space other than a shared bedroom don’t find it as funny.

Ofstedareunsafe · 26/03/2023 09:22

Just read all these posts this morning and stunned by how nasty some people are. Good luck OP, if you manage your children with half the patience of some of these posters you must be a wonderful mum.
I’ve seen online a DIY solution to room dividing where you get a bunk bed and then blocks off alternating sides. It then acts like a room divider without permeant change to the structure of the room.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Jooliusreezer · 26/03/2023 09:22

Ah, you have ten kids @flutterbyebaby, that might be why you’re sensitive to that poster’s comments…

Meandfour · 26/03/2023 09:23

flutterbyebaby · 26/03/2023 09:07

Yes, let's start taking kids of anyone who doesn't have an extra bedroom, ffs you sound evil

Show quote history

It’s not just that they don’t have an extra bedroom though is it? Come on now, you can’t think this situation is in any way ok?

jenandberrys · 26/03/2023 09:23

Hairfriar · 26/03/2023 09:19

I’m not ashamed at all, I think it’s a pretty reasonable opinion (and judging by others comments, I’m not alone in my view)

No, you're not alone. In my experience there are multiple shitty people that live around us and even post on MN. There's absolutely nothing to be gained from your posts (and the other similar comments) than perhaps inflating your own feelings of superiority at having made a nasty dig at someone and potentially made them feel worse. Not one of those posts telling OP to not have 6 kids is at all practical.

Actually suggesting the OP considers adoption is just as practical as suggesting she undertake extensive DIY and house half the family in the shed and then struggle with an overcrowded house for the next however many years. You may not like the suggestion and neither may the OP but it is certainly not impractical

THATissoooFETCH · 26/03/2023 09:26

Fucking hell are people actually telling the op to consider adoption for the babies she chose to have that she has carried for months

OP i wish you luck, you will work something out

My dad was one of 6 children in a 3 bed house. They are all FINE.

That being said we have 6 in a 5 bed and it still feels too small! You will have to be ruthless with 'stuff'

Staffielove23 · 26/03/2023 09:26

Poor 19 year old dd will undoubtedly feel pressured to move.

Anycolouryoulike · 26/03/2023 09:27

The OP came here for advice about the kids sleeping arrangements. Not for all the sanctimonious twats to crawl out of the woodwork.

hellololabells2019 · 26/03/2023 09:27

@emptythelitterbox I've had my tubes tied as well. The surgeon told me on occasion they can knit together again, so not 100% effective.

Chippy1234 · 26/03/2023 09:29

What’s done is done of course but I do think the OP thinks this is rather amusing hence the title of the OP. What honestly needs to happen to make people think they need to think twice before doing what they like and expecting others to pick up the bill.

Has the father of the twins any input into this?

Velvian · 26/03/2023 09:29

Is your kitchen big @MissMooley@MissMooley

LunchBoxPolice · 26/03/2023 09:29

My dad was one of 6 children in a 3 bed house. They are all FINE.

Most parents hope for better lives than “fine” for their kids, though.

OMG12 · 26/03/2023 09:30

flutterbyebaby · 26/03/2023 09:12

She made a comment that alluded to anyone not being in the best position to give up their kids. Nasty, callous and tbh downright insulting. What next, can't afford your electricity this week, let's whip your kids away and give them to someone with a better income!

Show quote history

Calm down- what I said was consider adoption. But there’s also a difference from not being able to give the best and being unable to provide for basic needs. I think in these situations it is responsible to give adoption consideration- I’m not advocating forced adoptions.

How is the OP going to meet the needs of all these kids. Ensuring they have good nutritious meals? Decent clothing. Have decent amount of one on one time with her to talk about problems, to help with their homework, deal with any issues. Keep herself in the best mental state. Give them experiences to maximise each child’s potential. All these things need to be considered as part of the mix, esp as she is on her own. Sometimes practicality trumps everything.

The welfare state is important in helping people who can’t help themselves, as a safety net. But here the OP can help herself and her kids. The safety net can only carry so much weight.

another option would be to move areas where there is a bigger chance of a bigger house. People move areas all the time for jobs so is perfectly doable.

You really need to adjust your attitude and realise everyone has a responsibility to the welfare state, to society, their family and for themselves. If people don’t exercise that responsibility- there are consequences.

Meandfour · 26/03/2023 09:30

Anycolouryoulike · 26/03/2023 09:27

The OP came here for advice about the kids sleeping arrangements. Not for all the sanctimonious twats to crawl out of the woodwork.

Is there any realistic advice for 7 people in a 3bed house, one of which is possible a box room? She was already having to sleep in the one reception room of the house before adding another 2 children to the overcrowding.
OP has had 7 months to think about this and has admitted herself she’s hoping shes missed something as she can’t find a solution.

JaneFondue · 26/03/2023 09:30

OP has left anyway. If this is a real post. I can see it appearing in the DM soon.

Darktowers · 26/03/2023 09:31

jenandberrys · 26/03/2023 08:27

I never understand this ‘I can’t afford to move’ rubbish. If you can’t afford to move, you sure as shit can’t afford more children. Children are far far far more expensive than moving.

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Moving is a big cost all at once. The cost of a child whilst more is spread out over years

Velvian · 26/03/2023 09:31

... Sorry posting fail😅. Could you move any table to the shed and have sofas and TV in its place? You could still make sure you all eat together, just on trays or a coffee table instead of a dining table.

4EyesandBigThighs · 26/03/2023 09:32

As much as I love babies .. and making them. I could never put myself in a position where I compromise my children health and happiness to have more. I absolutely would have terminated too. I could never have shared a room with my sister as a 14 year old let alone 19.

This must be quite a stressful time for you though so I’m sorry, I would also divide the one room for the two girls unfortunately.

Otherwise.. can you ‘kick out’ 19yo so she gets a place on the list as a higher priority? I’m not sure exactly how it works as I’ve never had experience with council housing but my brother lives in one, and he only managed to get on the list by my dad claiming to have kick him out so he had nowhere to live. Could that work - is 19yo DD capable of living alone?

Chippy1234 · 26/03/2023 09:36

But kicking out a 19 year old to make space for more children will do untold damage to the 19 year old.

God - is someone suggesting this is a made up thread or worse it’s true and the OP thought some posts were not supportive enough and has disappeared off.

Comii9 · 26/03/2023 09:36

MichelleScarn · 25/03/2023 21:06

If council are you not eligible for move as must be over crowded already?

There has been a housing crisis since 2014 and that was to get a 2 bed house. 4 and 5 bed council houses are not easy to come by.

JaneFondue · 26/03/2023 09:36

LunchBoxPolice · 26/03/2023 09:29

My dad was one of 6 children in a 3 bed house. They are all FINE.

Most parents hope for better lives than “fine” for their kids, though.

My mum was one of 8 children. However this was in a developing country in the 50s with no access to contraception. Every one of those 8 children had only 2.

It baffles me that women in a rich country keep getting pregnant by useless men.

Hairfriar · 26/03/2023 09:37

Actually suggesting the OP considers adoption is just as practical as suggesting she undertake extensive DIY

No, it really isn't. I'd urge you to do some reflecting on what you've posted.

Comii9 · 26/03/2023 09:38

4EyesandBigThighs · 26/03/2023 09:32

As much as I love babies .. and making them. I could never put myself in a position where I compromise my children health and happiness to have more. I absolutely would have terminated too. I could never have shared a room with my sister as a 14 year old let alone 19.

This must be quite a stressful time for you though so I’m sorry, I would also divide the one room for the two girls unfortunately.

Otherwise.. can you ‘kick out’ 19yo so she gets a place on the list as a higher priority? I’m not sure exactly how it works as I’ve never had experience with council housing but my brother lives in one, and he only managed to get on the list by my dad claiming to have kick him out so he had nowhere to live. Could that work - is 19yo DD capable of living alone?

Are you actually a parent suggesting kicking her 19 year out?

I know OP has not got a lot of options.... BUT that's got to be the lowest suggestion of all time.

OMG12 · 26/03/2023 09:40

Another thought would be to see if the eldest could live with your mum as she has a 3bed property.