Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do you and your family eat dinner around a table ?

238 replies

Nicebitofsquirrell · 23/03/2023 16:13

Meal times have changed a lot in the last decade I think, parents are working longer hours, kids are doing more evening activities and the ides of eating around the table and talking about your day seems very foreign to a lot of children. It's not uncommon for primary age children to have never eaten at a table before and they've said they eat on a sofa with the telly on.

Do you and your family regularly eat around a table and discuss your day without a TV or radio on?

I used to really enjoy it when I was younger and when we stopped because of work patterns it made it much easier for me to hide my ED as no one was watching my food intake.

It's definitely something I want to bring to my family

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 23/03/2023 19:17

I think another reason we pretty much always have dinners at the table is the way we eat. So tonight's dinner for example was chorizo and butterbean stew, green salad and garlic bread. I put the stew, the salad bowl and servers and the garlic bread in the centre of the dining table and people help themselves to how much they want. I can't even imagine how that would work if we were all sitting on the sofa? Shove the salad bowl on the windowsill, the stew on the coffee table and the garlic bread on the arm of the sofa? And we ate out of pasta bowls, with a side plate for salad and garlic bread. How would you juggle that on the sofa? And where would the salt and pepper and the vinaigrette go? The jug of water? And how do you pass things to each other when some people are sitting on one sofa, and some are on the other sofa the opposite side of the room? Lob the salt shaker across the room? Or do you have to keep putting your dinner down, standing up and walking across the room and back?

We always serve up at the table, and we pretty much always have sides and condiments alongside our meals and I just can't fathom how it could be comfortable or pleasant to eat a proper meal on your laps on the sofa. I guess if you're eating slices of pizza with your hands or just having a sandwich and a bag of crisps maybe, but surely most meals need a table to eat comfortably?

I know I've gone off on a bit of a tangent about eating at a table rather than eating together, but it blows my mind that anyone would find eating sitting on the sofa in front of the TV practical or pleasant. I don't think us eating at the table together was driven by any kind of thoughts of superior parenting, just practicality and comfort. And I'm lazy, so I only want to cook one meal for everyone!

Angelonthewall · 23/03/2023 19:49

Always eaten dinner around the table, no radio, tv or phones. We tried to wait on dh but if he was too late, he ate alone. When the kids became teenagers it was the best time to talk about stuff - everything and anything, all the worries all the joy - I am so glad I preserved with it when they were younger.

BrainOnFire · 23/03/2023 19:51

Yes, phones away and we all sit round the table and eat together nearly every night.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
NeverAgain01 · 23/03/2023 19:55

Nope except for once a year at Christmas.

MarquessofPembroke · 23/03/2023 19:57

it blows my mind that anyone would find eating sitting on the sofa in front of the TV practical or pleasant.

It blows your mind. Really?

ASGIRC · 23/03/2023 19:57

As a kid, we always had dinner at the table, apart from some "special" occasions (read - my mom didn[t want to cook and let us have cereal for dinner, in front of the tv! a TRUE treat!!!)

As an adult, I dont have kids yet, and at home I eat at the coffee table, as Im on my own, but I do eat at the table if there are any guests.

I moved back in with my parents during the pandemic, and we always had dinner together, around the table. Lunch wasnt a given, though we still ate together most days.

roseberrycherry · 23/03/2023 20:00

Every single night

HappyBirthdayLydia · 23/03/2023 20:01

3 of us can comfortably and happily, enjoying food and time to catch up.

2 of us cannot as there are sensory issues around food, ADHD, inability to relax in a social environment. It's one aspect of life that I do find upsetting amongst a million of other things that I just accept and get on with because this is just the way things are.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 23/03/2023 20:10

Yes. It's important. Trust me, in school it is very obvious which children are used to eating meals at table and which aren't.

crosstalk · 23/03/2023 20:13

@anotherwoman25 I think you'll find British culture very varied for numerous reasons, so don't pity us for parents not always eating with their children.

  1. People with manual or early starting jobs eg one DP out the door at 6am can often be home to eat with family at 5pm which with young children is about right with a SAHP - or the other working DP who might be putting kids to bed and going out to do an evening or night shift thereafter.
  2. People who commute often don't get back till 7 or 8pm which is too late for young children and hungry teenagers.
  3. People like me and others where you can be called out at any time of day or night - think medics, journalists
  4. People whose family tradition has always been to eat early mostly because they have always lived and worked in the same locality.
  5. People whose family tradition has always been to eat late because they commuted and kids were fed earlier.

My family were always eat at the table. I made sure it was eat at the table at weekends when I wasn't working (and then my DP did). I was brought up in a country where you ate on the floor and used your right hand. I've lived in small flats with no room for a table and chairs.

So as people have said upthread it doesn't matter providing (a) your family communicates (b) know how to behave in other settings.

usererror99 · 23/03/2023 20:14

Yes every night unless it's film night with a takeaway pizza

It's an important part of family time for me. I grew up with family mealtimes. My children's father on the other hand didn't and it certainly shows.

You know the saying - the family that eats together stays together. Well it's true. STBEXH stopped eating with us a family because it wasn't convenient/got in the way of his hobby - 6 months later he walked out

aslkde · 23/03/2023 20:14

We eat at the table. If I am stuck at work, husband and child eat at table then they join me for dessert when I get home.

TrishTrix · 23/03/2023 20:17

I was brought up with a nightly "family dinner" with no TV.

My siblings and I all do this in our adult lives. I'm not aware of any friends who don't routinely sit to eat meals at a table either.

We are all fortunate enough to live in properties that have a suitable table.

Branleuse · 23/03/2023 20:18

Rarely unless going somewhere for a meal or its a special occasion.
Most of the time i dont enjoy eating as a family as it just feels really chaotic. I also cant bear the sound of people eating

premicrois · 23/03/2023 20:20

You know the saying - the family that eats together stays together. Well it's true

Well I am going strong with 2 decades of marriage behind me and have never sat at a table since 1995, with the exception of Christmas dinner.

I don't think we can judge family relations on one simple aspect.

sprunggreens · 23/03/2023 20:22

Yes, with candles. It's a rare treat to have a take away on the sofa in front of a movie. No tv suppers here. Maybe my youngest if he needs an early night.

premicrois · 23/03/2023 20:23

it blows my mind that anyone would find eating sitting on the sofa in front of the TV practical or pleasant

Bloody hell you must have lived a very sheltered life Confused

dizzygirl1 · 23/03/2023 20:23

90% of the time. Almost all evening meals but maybe a Friday night on the sofa watching TV. Breakfast at the table. Lunches generally wherever we fancy, some table some not.
It's something we all enjoy (even the teenagers) but I can see in some families where it can't work for a multitude of reasons.
One size doesn't fit all.

Jeevesnotwooster · 23/03/2023 20:23

Yes. But often only dinner together.

Franticbutterfly · 23/03/2023 20:24

Yes. Not every day, but mostly we eat together at the table.

dizzygirl1 · 23/03/2023 20:24

premicrois · 23/03/2023 20:20

You know the saying - the family that eats together stays together. Well it's true

Well I am going strong with 2 decades of marriage behind me and have never sat at a table since 1995, with the exception of Christmas dinner.

I don't think we can judge family relations on one simple aspect.

And I'm a divorce and yet eat at the table... so as per usual for the saying, its all a load of crap.

crosstalk · 23/03/2023 20:24

@mrsm43s For those of us who don't have a big enough kitchen or sitting room for a table, but enough room for say a coffee table, it's a workaround. You serve up on what little space you have in the kitchen and from the top of the stove. You take your glass of water through. You have big enough bowls to do the butterbean chorizo stew and put the salad on top. Or you have small bowls for the stew set on big plates with the salad on the side. You might not even have room for the water jug in your cupboards, so just fill from the tap.

MarquessofPembroke · 23/03/2023 20:27

We are all fortunate enough to live in properties that have a suitable table

😂

NerdyIsMyMiddleName · 23/03/2023 20:41

Most nights for dinner, although lunch is more sporadic. It's us and two teenagers, and we've never done anything else.

Phones have to be put away, telly and computers off etc. They take turns (at least once each a week) to cook as well. Food is generally veggie.

Occasionally (usually when it's the end of the week and no-one can be arsed to cook) we get pizza and eat it on the sofa while watching a film, but it's a big treat!

CheeseMcKnees · 23/03/2023 20:43

Probably 3-4 times a week, it was 7/7 until recently but