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Original poster

Do you and your family eat dinner around a table ?

238 replies

Nicebitofsquirrell · 23/03/2023 16:13

Meal times have changed a lot in the last decade I think, parents are working longer hours, kids are doing more evening activities and the ides of eating around the table and talking about your day seems very foreign to a lot of children. It's not uncommon for primary age children to have never eaten at a table before and they've said they eat on a sofa with the telly on.

Do you and your family regularly eat around a table and discuss your day without a TV or radio on?

I used to really enjoy it when I was younger and when we stopped because of work patterns it made it much easier for me to hide my ED as no one was watching my food intake.

It's definitely something I want to bring to my family

OP posts:
Chickpea17 · 23/03/2023 17:09

Yes every evening around 5pm it's very important to me and my husband.

Ostryga · 23/03/2023 17:10

DoNutSweatTheSmallStuff · 23/03/2023 17:07

Yes, every time if possible.

I think it's really important- social skills, table manners, dining etiquette, bonding, relationships, encouraging good food choices, no screens / other distractions, quality family time, good time to talk etc etc.

Honestly you don’t need to sit at a table to do all that.

Dd and I both have (diagnosed) ADHD and sitting at a table with nothing except eating to do would send us both over the edge.

Promise we have a fab relationship and bond and Dd doesn’t eat with just her face in her plate Grin

Xrays · 23/03/2023 17:10

Nope can’t stand it. To be fair all of us have autism and we just like peace and quiet when we eat. We sit on the sofa and have an episode of a Tv programme on - currently getting through Ted Lasso. When the dc were little (they’re now 20 and 11) we tried to do the whole eating at the table thing but we all felt really uncomfortable and like it was forced. It does annoy me though when people assume children can’t have good table manners etc if you don’t eat at the table - admittedly we do eat out quite a lot, at least once a week, but you can definitely talk to your children about how to behave in different situations and what others expect.

When I was with my first dh (I’m now remarried) my in laws were absolutely horrified my family never ate at a table and they actually got us some of those little fold up Tv table things 😳😆 They just couldn’t understand how we would eat on our laps out of choice. I guess everyone is different.

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Families
soffa · 23/03/2023 17:10

@DeathWinsAGolfish but you said Lunch and dinner always at the table as a family. so I assumed you meant always.

We always eat lunch together on the weekends unless a dc is at a play date.

Xrays · 23/03/2023 17:10

I should add - we all sit in the living room together all the time so it’s not like we never talk to each other!

Blingstar · 23/03/2023 17:10

Yes every night.

Train007 · 23/03/2023 17:11

No .Children always were hungry straight after school inc secondary , have also worked shifts at weekends and husband was always home later . We did try and all sit together for a curry on a Saturday night when they were teenagers .
It is a shame but the children are all fully functioning adults and we have always had a great relationship with them .

Drilldrill · 23/03/2023 17:11

No because our stupidly small house has no space for a table. We do sit on the sofa together to eat though 🤣

Chickpea17 · 23/03/2023 17:11

Should have said we have a 5 year old

soffa · 23/03/2023 17:12

Also does no one ever go out after work socialising?!

EspeciallyDedicated · 23/03/2023 17:15

I would also add that despite us not doing this regularly since they were young my DCs have always behaved immaculately in restaurants and we love eating out together as a family. It makes it more special when its not an everyday thing for us.

CointreauVersial · 23/03/2023 17:17

Always always always. Sitting together at the dining room table, no TV or phones, non-negotiable, unless away from home, no scuttling back to bedrooms with plates......

My DCs are in their early 20s now, and not living at home, but they all say we are a closer family because of it. DD1 said it was one of the best parenting decisions we ever made. It meant they ate properly as teenagers too.

Drifta · 23/03/2023 17:18

JennyDarlingRIP · 23/03/2023 16:59

I do think there are probably a disproportionate number of people with space for a dining table/room on MN though

Absolutely.

We do probably 6 nights out of 7.

However pre-covid, when kids were small and adults were working outside the home more, we only managed to eat all together at the weekends. You can only do what you can do.

soffa · 23/03/2023 17:18

we eat out at least once a week & my dc don't throw food & do know who we are 😆

thatsn0tmyname · 23/03/2023 17:19

Yes, breakfast and dinner and lunch if we're home at the weekend.

soffa · 23/03/2023 17:20

Also do people never go for dinner with friends & partners? Do they eat twice? I'm so confused by the "always", "every single time" comments.

Arniesleftleg · 23/03/2023 17:20

A couple of times a week yes, and always on a Sunday.

On a Tuesday and Thursday we don't bother as my hubby works into the evening teaching MA. The kids eat at the island and I rarely bother having anything. However, on a Sunday we always eat a proper meal at the table. It usually ends up in an argument but we do try 🤣

NoraLuka · 23/03/2023 17:21

We eat together but on the sofa. I go through phases of trying to get us all to eat at the table but it never lasts more than a few days. DP doesn’t like it so it’s awkward if me and the DC are at the table and not him.

I grew up always eating at the table but nobody talked and I knew DM hated cooking (so do I!) so it wasn’t that nice.

Drilldrill · 23/03/2023 17:21

JennyDarlingRIP · 23/03/2023 16:59

I do think there are probably a disproportionate number of people with space for a dining table/room on MN though

We don’t have a table for that exact reason, there’s literally no where to out one unless we get rid of the sofa 🤦‍♀️

EspeciallyDedicated · 23/03/2023 17:22

Dd and I both have (diagnosed) ADHD and sitting at a table with nothing except eating to do would send us both over the edge.

This is exactly it for us too, plus lots of evening activities at different times, sensory issues around food, DH working very irregular hours it is far better for us not to do this routinely. I have always liked reading while I eat, the DCs are the same and DH feels uncomfortable just sitting round the table too. Whereas in a restaurant we all get enough sensory input from what's going on around us to compensate for just sitting and eating and we will have a good old chinwag. It took me a long time to realise but this is one reason why I will never choose to go in an empty or almost empty restaurant or cafe if there are busier alternatives.

owiz · 23/03/2023 17:23

@soffa not sure if you're being deliberately obtuse, but when I say always I mean every meal at home is eaten at the table, obviously we do go out for meals sometimes...but they are also inevitably always at a table!

soffa · 23/03/2023 17:25

@owiz I don't think i even noticed your post 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm not talking about eating on tables.

OriGanOver · 23/03/2023 17:26

@soffa no they shackle themselves to the table and then moan about their boring lives and every single funny look someone gave them one day 😂

I love the way some posters think sitting round the table is a parenting decision and one that makes them closer.. 😂

I don't need a table to know what's going on with my dc and their lives.

owiz · 23/03/2023 17:28

@soffa the sentiment of taking people saying "always" so literally is what I mean, when people say always they invariably mean their routine not for those other occasions, but you know that.

OriGanOver · 23/03/2023 17:28

No one goes to the pub for a pint that turns into 3 and tells their dc to make their own dinner? No, must just be me 😂